Jhondie & Justin 7 Wild One
by Cat Carroll
Summary: Jhondie's family life is suddenly torn apart by some unexpected evesdropping and a devestating announcement from Zack. A teenage sister busily rebelling doesn't help as Jhondie has to decide once and for all where she belongs.
1. Suprises All Around

Jhondie & Justin (7) - Wild One  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN THEM ALL!! IT'S ALL MINE AND I WANT TO PROFIT BIG OFF OF THEM!! HEY! WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT'S WITH THE WHITE COA......OHhh...gooood sharp shiny object. Much better now. Yes. You know who owns what. And I didn't ask Faith Hill if I could borrow her song, so just buy the darn CD. Actually you should. It's a rather good one. Though, if pressed, I know something that I wouldn't mind giving to Tim as payment for usage of lyrics. J & J are still mine. The Corolla is long since gone now, but there is an '86 minivan that might need a new engine that can be the lawsuit settlement if you want. The betta fish, as always, is mine and I will go into hiding to protect him, so don't even think about it.  
  
A/N: Wow. #7. And to think I originally envisioned J & J to be about 8 stories, all kind of cute and fluffy and just fun to combat how dark Gen X- 6 had gotten at the time that I started the first J & J. It has certainly evolved since then, and I think it's been to the better. To answer a question that I have gotten a lot, the two series will come together in the next J & J. But that's not for a while yet, so please sit back and relax and enjoy the latest installment. And PLEASE review. You have no idea how much it helps me when you do. It lets me know that I have more than two people reading, and seeing that gives me the courage to keep on writing, despite the fact it's 2 AM and I got to get up for work at 6:15. Big thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and waited for new chapters for weeks at a time and still kept faithfully reviewing. Also, thank you to Katrina for all the creative input on this story and Jaci, Karen and Jasmine for always being a plot b!tch when I needed one. Love you all! - Cat  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* --Wild One  
  
----sung by Faith Hill They said change your clothes  
  
She said no I won't  
  
They said comb your hair  
  
She said some kids don't  
  
And her parents dreams went up in smoke They said you can't leave  
  
She said yes I will  
  
They said don't see him  
  
She said his name is Bill  
  
She's on a roll and it's all uphill She's a wild one  
  
With an angel's face  
  
She's a woman-child  
  
In a state of grace  
  
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee  
  
He said you can be anything you want to be  
  
She's a wild one  
  
Runnin' free She loves Rock and Roll  
  
They said it's Satan's tongue  
  
She thinks they're too old  
  
They think she's too young  
  
And the battle lines are clearly drawn She's a wild one  
  
With an angel's face  
  
She's a woman-child  
  
In a state of grace  
  
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee  
  
He said you can be anything you want to be  
  
She's a wild one  
  
Runnin' free She has future plans and dreams at night  
  
When they tell her life is hard she says that's alright She's a wild one  
  
With an angel's face  
  
She's a woman-child  
  
In a state of grace  
  
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee  
  
He said you can be anything you want to be  
  
She's a wild one  
  
Runnin' free *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Justin  
  
"I just don't get it!" Jhondie practically wailed. "I was never this bad at fourteen. And she's getting worse!"  
  
It was everything I could do to not laugh at her right then. We had gone up against some serious bad guys before. Jhondie had maneuvered around things that boggled the mind. But her younger sister had her in a complete state of exasperation and she still had a few more years to go before it got any better. This situation in particular was getting more and more typical.  
  
Jhondie had just gotten off of the phone with her mother. She and Kayla had a big fight and her mom was upset. It had something to do with a party that the kid wanted to go to, but Mrs. Harris had refused to let her go. Mrs. Harris had a function at school that she was supposed to go to, and asked Jhondie if she could come home and make sure Kayla didn't take off while she was home alone. I really felt sorry for Jhondie. It was getting to the point that she was coming over to my apartment just to have a quiet place to study.  
  
My place wasn't even all that quiet anymore. I was tearing around, finishing up my final semester in college and getting ready to graduate. I had an offer with the LA Times for a job as soon as I graduated, and a news magazine in New York was looking at me as a good entry-level journalist. I was thinking I would stay freelance though. I published a story in the Times about a month ago on homeless among children. Not cutting edge like I would like, but that would never get through the censors. I did ask some burning questions on where the money was that had been allocated to help these kids, and questions were being asked of the mayor and city council. Nothing was going to come of it, but it was pretty awesome to be interviewing people and asking questions and getting doors slammed in my face. The slammed doors didn't bother me. I was finding the windows they had left open. One of which was Nikki. She had taken a job with the Times and moved here. The girl was the sneakiest, most devious person I had ever met when it came to getting information out of people and I could have no better ally or worse enemy outside of the lady in the passenger seat of my car.  
  
"Honey, this is what a typical teen is like," I said, try to hide how amused I was. I could afford to be. I was lucky to have moved out before I had to live with a couple of teenagers. "You, cariña, weren't like this because this is the time that most people start to mature. You had that a long time ago."  
  
"Were you that bad?" she asked.  
  
I thought about my teen years, and the way Kayla had been acting. "I wasn't like her," I finally decided. "I was much worse."  
  
She sighed. "She really wasn't that bad until she got that stupid boyfriend." She then promptly punched me when I burst into laughter.  
  
"No resemblance between you and Zack at all," I laughed. She glared at me. Wasn't my fault she sounded like her brother. "Come on Jhon, Kayla is growing up. She's going to date and have boyfriends. You did, and you didn't turn out so bad."  
  
"I never went out with hoodlums four years older than me," she replied sharply.  
  
"Just crazy blackmailing journalists two years older?" I asked pointedly.  
  
"When you break the law, it's for the greater good, not because there's pretty shiny things inside that you want."  
  
She had me on that point. Kayla had started high school and was enjoying being a freshman and getting attention from older boys. Her new boyfriend was taking his second trip through his senior year. She was flattered that an older boy was interested in her, and there was no explaining to her that he saw her as an easy piece of tail.  
  
"I never had to worry about being alone with a guy," Jhondie added. "I knew that I could take care of myself. Kayla doesn't want to listen to anyone or anything but what she wants to hear. And she doesn't want to hear about how he beat up his last girlfriend because she refused to have an abortion."  
  
He was seventeen when he did that and ended up in juvenile detention. The girl wasn't hurt too badly, but left LA soon after. When he turned eighteen, all of this was sealed, but we had our ways of finding out information. Jhondie didn't want to tell her mother because of the inevitable questions on how she got the information, and Jhondie wasn't ready to explain Eye's Only to her just yet.  
  
"Then Kayla is very lucky to have a big sister like you to keep an eye out for her," I said. It would be nice if she didn't need a big sister like Jhondie though. Both of us wanted her to move in with me, but Jhondie knew that she was needed at home right now. Kayla didn't know what big trouble looked like just yet and Jhondie wanted to be there when Kayla did find out what it was.  
  
"I just wish she knew how lucky she was," Jhondie replied glumly. Kayla was at the age where helping was called interfering, the accusation usually made at deafening volumes.  
  
Jhondie didn't talk much more as I drove her back home. She did not want to be heading into this. I was willing to bet she was would rather deal with the boss's moodiness than her sisters at this point. And over the last several months, since we got back from Seattle as a matter of fact, Eye's Only had been acting different. Maybe most people wouldn't notice, but I had worked with him for long enough to notice a difference. When he first came back after being gone for about a month or so, a lot of the fire was just gone. He had been getting better, more like he used to be, but there were times that he seemed to go back and seem more placid, less fired up about what we were doing. Jhondie swore that it must be about that person we saw get shot. She was thinking it was his brother or someone like that who was very close to him. That might be right, but I was wondering if there wasn't a Mrs. Eye's Only in there somewhere. Only a woman could make a stable man go nuts. It was something I had learned all too well over the last two years. Not that I would trade it for anything, but I could empathize with the man.  
  
We made it back to her house and she stared at it like she was heading to a death march. "You have no idea how much I want you to refuse to let me out and take me back to your place," she said somewhat pitifully.  
  
"What if I picked you up when your mother gets home?" I suggested. "We could have a late dinner, and if you wanted you could come home with me."  
  
She smiled at me tiredly. "Can I soak in the tub for like an hour without being screamed at that someone else needs it more than me?"  
  
"I might even throw in a foot rub for free," I replied.  
  
She leaned over and kissed me. "Have I told you how much I love you?"  
  
I grinned. "I'll let you show me later."  
  
Jhondie  
  
Mom was on her way out when I came in. She immediately looked relieved that I had made it before she had to leave. "I am so sorry that I had to call you," she said quickly, trying to get her earrings in. "But there is no way I can leave her alone right now." She shot an irritated look up the stairs. "She is grounded to the house and from the phone especially if Frankie calls." Frankie was Kayla's loser boyfriend.  
  
"I can handle her friends," I replied confidently. Mom smiled weakly.  
  
"I have no doubt that you can, just don't get blood on the carpet please," she said. I grinned. A couple of weeks ago this little punk that Kayla called a friend was smoking in the house. I came in with Mom and she told the punk to get out. Punk told Mom to f**k herself. Punk ended up bleeding all over the couch after her face somehow made contact with my fist. It was sheer luck that I had been within striking range or else Kayla would have seen how fast I could really move. Kayla told me she was going to hate me forever for that, but that lasted until she needed to borrow my favorite black dress for a party.  
  
I wandered upstairs and knocked on Kayla's closed bedroom door. "What do you want now?" came the snotty demand. I took a deep breath and resisted the urge to kick down the door.  
  
"Kay, it's me," I called back. "Mom left." The door opened to reveal my red-eyed sister. She was obviously still in the grip of a world-class pout. Lovely.  
  
"Is it your turn to tell me what a spoiled brat I am?" she asked bitterly. I would have, but I just wasn't in the mood for a screaming match.  
  
"I just wanted to let you know I was here if you needed me," I replied evenly.  
  
Her eyes darkened with malice. "You better tell Justin that he has to leave. Mom said no boys in the house unless she's here."  
  
"You know," I said, the anger building, "I came up here to see if you wanted to talk. When you're done being b***h, let me know." I turned and went back downstairs while she sputtered behind me.  
  
I made myself a sandwich and plopped down at the dining room table. Who the hell did she think she was? I knew this party she wanted to go to. It was a rave at this abandoned building they used for parties when I was in high school. Drugs? You know how some clubs have a two-drink minimum? This place had a three hit minimum. Most people were stoned when they walked in. Cops would break up the parties there once they got real bad, and the stoners wouldn't be able to get out before getting arrested. Did she not see that or did she just like being selectively blind?  
  
I finished eating and watched TV for a while before going back upstairs. Loud music was blaring from Kayla's room. I had asked her a million times to please keep the volume down to something less than the volume of a jet engine over the breakfast table, but she was in the mood to be as annoying as possible. I was starting to understand why some species ate their young.  
  
I think I knew then how Zack felt about us. He knew that he was doing everything possible to protect and take care of us. We were a pack of ungrateful brats, always angry with him for meddling and being controlling. I would say that we were right to feel that way and the situation was different, but that would just prove the point more.  
  
Speak of the devil. It was more than just a little ironic that the person so much on my mind just then should happen to be the person climbing through my window as I walked in my room.  
  
"Hey," I said brightly. It had been months since I had last seen Zack. He looked up at me, and immediately my previous good humor fled. He looked like someone had really gotten the best of him. His face was bruised and scratched up and he looked like his breathing was painful. "You look like hell," I commented.  
  
Zack shrugged stoically. "It looks worse," he replied, sitting down on my bed. I knew he was lying when he flinched slightly. It took a lot more than a few bruises to make my brother flinch. I sighed. He was here because he wanted me to make sure he was really all right, but he would never admit to that.  
  
"I'm going to get the med kit," I said. "Take off your shirt and let me check those ribs when I get back." The fact that he didn't tell me 'no' right then said that he was in a lot of pain.  
  
I checked the hall before I went into the bathroom. I did not want to explain to Kayla why there was a guy in my room that wasn't Justin. Her door was still tightly shut and I could have sworn that the music was even louder now. By the time Mom got home it was going to be deafening. Nobody had mentioned that having super-sensitive hearing could be a bad thing, but I guess Manticore never intended us to have bratty little sisters.  
  
I couldn't help a gasp of shock when I went back into my room. Who the hell was capable of doing that to my brother? The bruises and scratches on his face continued down and were far worse on his torso, including a nasty looking gouge going from his shoulder down his back. That should have been stitched, but knowing Zack he hadn't acknowledged that it was serious.  
  
"What happened to you?" I managed to get out, ignoring the no-questions rule that we had about his activities. For just a second his expression lost its usual guard and I instinctively knew that something bad had happened and these injuries were from him protecting one of the others. That was the only thing that would make Zack have a flash of guilt, even for a second.  
  
"Don't worry about it," he replied gruffly. And then a little kinder, "She's really okay, baby sister. I took the worst of it."  
  
I let out a breath I didn't know that I was holding. Zack knew me well enough to know that I would stress over what was wrong but I would believe him that things were better now. "If anyone else needs medical attention then let me know," I said quietly. "I'll do what needs to be done and leave without letting them know anything."  
  
"I know you would," he replied. "But it's not needed."  
  
I accepted his words and went to fixing him as best I could. I had spent the last several months taking a side class in paramedic training. It was offered at my school for people that were on the pre-med track and highly encouraged. That way you could be sure if you could handle all of the blood and gore that goes along with being a doctor. You also had to go out with the paramedics on runs. Almost half of the class had dropped out. One girl fainted three times when the paramedics were delivering a baby in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. She later decided to change her major to communications. I, on the other hand, loved every minute of it. I was starting to think that if I did get the chance to go to medical school, that I was going to specialize in trauma surgery. I had an opportunity the previous fall to spend a week shadowing different doctors and it was surgery that caught my fascination the most. After the time with the paramedics, I knew for sure what I wanted to do. In any case, the classes had really taught me a lot more about first aid and taking care of injuries.  
  
He had a couple of broken ribs and despite our natural resistance to disease, I was sure that the gouge on his shoulder was infected. He flinched a couple of times as I pressed the ribs back into their correct alignment, but didn't say anything. Dr. Lee had turned me on to colloidal silver about a year ago and I poured some of it onto Zack's wounds and bandaged them up. The silver was a natural antibiotic and Zack was going to drink some every day for the next few days whether he wanted to or not. We were strong, but I didn't know about fighting gangrene.  
  
"Okay," I said, snipping the last bit of gauze. "I think you'll live. Now how did Lydecker find her?" I had been thinking while taking care of him, and only a threat from Lydecker would have gotten Zack in this much trouble.  
  
"Same way he always does," Zack replied. "Carelessness on our part and luck on his." His comment was rather pointed and I couldn't help rolling my eyes. Of course I was still behind him when I did that so he couldn't see.  
  
"Zack..." I said, my tone letting him know that I wasn't in the mood for a lecture. I just wanted to know if Lydecker was getting smarter or if he had found a new way to track us or what.  
  
"She trusted the wrong person," Zack admitted.  
  
I came around to the front of him. "Who decided to rat her out to Lydecker," I said, finishing the story. Anger rose in me hotly. "B*****d. 'Deck do him in or did you teach him why it's not smart to mess with one of us?"  
  
"I took care of things."  
  
"As usual," I said with a sigh. My voice hardened. "Maybe you should have left him to Manticore. A few minutes in psy ops and he would have learned his lesson."  
  
Zack's scowl almost became a smirk. I think he liked hearing that I had no problems with extreme measures when protecting our own was concerned. "It wouldn't have happened if she hadn't let people know about her," he said.  
  
"You know, Justin and I have been together for almost two years now," I said, getting his point. I hadn't told him about Dr. Lee knowing as well. I already knew what his reaction would be and I didn't care to hear it. "If he was one of Lydecker's whores, then I would have been dead two years ago."  
  
"Not if he was trying to get you to look for the others."  
  
I smiled. "Then I can trust him. Because that's the one thing he's encouraged me to not do." I shrugged. "Besides, he might not be scared of me, but I think he is of you a little." Zack seemed pleased at that.  
  
Zack went to say something, but a low rumble cut off his words. I streaked across my room as fast as I could and grabbed a porcelain doll off of a shelf. Its stand was bent and it would fall and shatter once the earth caught up to the noise. Then the vibrations came, rattling the house and knocking over a picture on my desk. A thud in my closet and a slight cry. Cody. He liked to sleep on my top shelf. Dumb cat had learned how to open and close the door. I heard a glass fall off of the counter in the kitchen and shatter on the tile and then the earthquake was over. I put the doll back up on its shelf. That couldn't have been more than a 2, maybe 2.3 on the Richter.  
  
"I don't see how you get used to those," Zack commented.  
  
I shrugged, going over to my closet. Cody would never forgive me if Zack was here and he didn't get to see him. "I'm a genetically engineered super- soldier and I live in LA. Aliens could land and I would be like 'whatever...seen better'."  
  
Two things happened simultaneously. I opened the closet door as Cody meowed from my bedroom window. He wasn't in my closet.  
  
Kayla's terrified face looked up at me from the closet floor. She was pale, shaking and holding an imitation snakeskin skirt that I had worn once as a Halloween costume.  
  
The front door slammed downstairs. "Girls, I'm home!" Mom called. Kay shot a desperate glance to my bedroom door and then back at me.  
  
"MOM!" she shrieked, darting under my arms and racing out of my bedroom.  
  
I didn't bother to look back at Zack. "You'd have to go through me first," I said flatly. All he needed to know was right there in that sentence. And then we both ran out the door, heading towards where Kay was still screaming like a siren. 


	2. Family Secrets

Jhondie  
  
Kay was already at the stairs, streaking down them as Mom ran up, trying to find out who was killing her youngest child. She made it a half-up, Kay was right in front of her, trying to screech to a halt and Zack and I were on a high-speed collision course. I didn't think, just realized what was about to happen and vaulted over the side rail, Zack following my lead. Kayla's next scream was cut off sharply at seeing me drop to the floor without a scratch. She looked back at Mom with wide, terrified eyes and then it seemed we were both trying to talk at once.  
  
"Oh my God what is she...Kay was hiding in my closet...and he was talking about killing people...she shouldn't have been listening...and she was all like that's good and wanted to do worse stuff to him...and I thought she was in her room so we...she ran so fast across her room..."  
  
My mother, queen of serenity that she was, looked at Kay, looked at me, and then in a clear calm voice, simply said. "Hello Zack. You certainly look like hell today."  
  
Kay's jaw dropped. "You know him?" she gasped.  
  
Mom blew out a breath. "I think we all need to sit down and have a little talk. Zack, would you mind staying for just a bit?"  
  
Zack and talking do not go together. I don't know why he stayed. It might have been that he was hurting too much to take off right then. It also might have been the fact that when Mom asked him to hang around food was part of the bargain. If there was one thing that linked Zack and I, it was our ability to put away food. It had happened more than once that he had shown up and we had spent several hours together and cleaned the house out of every scrap of food except for a few things in the back of the fridge that appeared to be more mutated than we were. We signed a peace accord with that small civilization and headed to the freezer where there were Popsicles.  
  
Kay plopped down on one end of the couch and I sat on the other with Zack half standing, half sitting on the armrest, his arms crossed. Mom stood there for a long moment, trying to figure out what to say. I certainly couldn't think of a way to start this conversation. I had thought a million times on how to tell Kay and when would be a good time, but now not a single speech that I had worked up could come out.  
  
"Kay," Mom finally began, "how far back can you remember?"  
  
She thought for a second. "I can remember...well..." Her voice was rising in pitch and intensity and she suddenly exploded, shouting as loud as she could. "I can remember when I had a sister and not...not whatever the hell you are! And she didn't hang around with guys that killed people and then try to get them to torture and do worse stuff! And...and..."  
  
She could have slapped me and it would have felt pretty much the same. "Kay, you don't understand..." I tried to say, but she overrode me. I could feel Zack getting tense beside me.  
  
"I heard everything from the time he came in your room!" she shrieked. "WHAT ARE YOU?"  
  
"KAYLA!" Mom shouted, cutting her off. Kay's mouth opened, and then slammed shut again. It wasn't until later that I learned that it wasn't Mom that got her to be quiet, but the look that Zack gave her. As much as she was my sister, he was still my big brother, and a rather protective one at that. He had reasons for not liking it when I was upset.  
  
"Jhondie is your sister," Mom continued. "I will admit, not by blood, but she is your sister." There was dead silence for a second and she started over. "Now, how young can you remember being?"  
  
She looked at Mom and then back at me suspiciously. "I can remember being at a hospital a lot when I was three," she said in an accusatory tone. "I can remember when you had leukemia and Mom and Dad were upset a lot. How are you...how did you...why can remember you being in a hospital with leukemia!"  
  
Mom knelt in front of her taking her hand. It must have been that mom- instinct thing that said why Kay was so upset about remembering that. Poor kid was confused as to what was real or made up. "You were at the hospital a lot when you were three," she said soothingly. "We were there practically every day and a lot of nights as well. We could have had chairs with our names on them in the emergency room."  
  
She paused, a shadow of an old pain crossing her face. "You did have an older sister by blood. Her name was Katherine, and she died from leukemia when you were three and she was eight. And then we moved to Las Vegas and your father and I adopted Jhondie."  
  
And the ironic thing was that it was Kayla who had found me in the park and decided to take me home and keep me. "Do you remember the park in Vegas?" I asked her softly. "The one by the house where I used to push you on the swings all the time?" Kayla nodded slowly. "Can you remember a little girl in the park? Under the trees in the back. She was alone and crying and hurt?"  
  
Comprehension dawned in Kayla's eyes. "Kind of..." she muttered. She looked at me directly. "That was you. I never...just didn't think...and you were always there..." The upset tone in her voice began rising again.  
  
"You were only four, honey," Mom said quickly. "Four year olds accept what they are told. We told you that Jhondie was your sister, and she became that to you. We accepted her as our daughter and never thought twice about the decision."  
  
I tried to smile, but it felt brittle even to me. "Actually, it was Kay's decision." She gave me an odd look. "You announced to Mom that you were keeping me and grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go all the way home. Then you gave me a stuffed kangaroo and said she would make sure I didn't have any bad dreams. And then you went to watch the Teletubbies."  
  
Kay's expression was a study in horror at that last line. "Okay, I can like deal with the rest, but that Teletubbies thing better be a sick joke."  
  
Mom and I couldn't help a real smile this time. "Kayla," Mom said like a doctor giving a patient bad news. "You had Teletubbies underwear."  
  
Kay broke out into a smile. There was a moment of silence, and I knew the real question was about to come. This was so a place that I did not want to go. Maybe I could just offer to get her tongue pierced real quickly so she couldn't talk. Not clearly at least. She had wanted that ever since Ginny stopped coming over and Kay had started hanging out with that older girl. The new best friend had two tattoos, several piercings and gave me strange looks when I was there. In any case, I knew what was about to be asked and Zack was right there with me to glower over any information I had to give out.  
  
Before Kay could say anything, there was a delighted little meow and Cody bounded from the steps and landed on Zack's shoulder, purring loudly. Cody was never going to be a big cat, and he still fit quite well up on Zack. Kay's eyes got big. "Stupid cat actually likes you!" she exclaimed. She had never seen the cat like anyone but me before.  
  
I looked up at Zack. "See," I said, glad to have my theory vindicated. "I told you he doesn't like many people. Pretty much just us." There was a slight twitch to the edge of Zack's mouth that might have been a smile. He took the cat off of his shoulder and scratched under its chin. Cody purred even louder in response. Kay looked impressed.  
  
"He scratches me if I try to do that," she commented. Zack shrugged in response. Kay looked at me again, questions tumbling out quickly. "So why aren't you two together if he's your real brother? Where did you come from anyways?" I had a feeling that I would long regret my last comment before opening the closet door. I could make up some kind of story to cover what Zack and I had been talking about, but the other was going to be much harder to deal with.  
  
I glanced up at Zack, wishing he wasn't there glaring at me for telling Kay what he knew I was about to say. But there was no way I could lie my way out of this one. I think he could tell he was a rather scary presence to her and he wanted her to be very, very afraid of him and what he would do if she ever said a word to anyone about this. He gently dropped Cody to the floor and looked back at me, waiting.  
  
I looked back at my sister. "It's dangerous for us to be together all of the time," I began, knowing that if I looked at that self satisfied expression that Zack had to be wearing with me admitting to that, I really would hit him. "See...Zack and I...we're different. The Army wanted us to be soldiers. They wanted special soldiers that were stronger and faster and...well...more efficient killing machines. But a group of us didn't want to be like that. We wanted to be free and we ran away and have to hide now. The people we ran from...if they ever found us...Kay, if they ever find out where I am, they'll kill me. No hesitation. They'll try to stick me in a cage, and when I fight them, they'll kill me and everyone around me who knew about what I was and could do. That's why I couldn't tell you before. You were so young and if you let it out, even by accident, then it wouldn't be just me in danger. They want to try and get me alive. You and Mom and Dad would have been not needed and eliminated."  
  
Kayla was quiet for a second, thinking about what I had said upstairs and what I had just told her. "But you were just a little girl when you were in the park."  
  
I nodded. "I know. We were all born the way we are. They played with our DNA so that we would be born with revved abilities. They wanted to use us to hurt people, but we didn't want to do that. We had to get away, so we did."  
  
She looked back at Zack with wide eyes. "And...and do you really kill people?"  
  
"When they need it," Zack answered, making his first direct contribution to the conversation. I wanted to slap him. There was no need to terrify my sister anymore than what she was already.  
  
"It's called self-defense," I corrected sharply. I looked back at Kay, not sure how to explain. Mom gave me an encouraging look, wanting to let me handle this how I thought best. "Kay, there are others like me and Zack out there. More of my brothers and sisters and if these people find them, they'll either kill them or take them or do even worse things to them. Zack keeps that from happening. I was looking at Zack when I said that, and there was this look...it was just there for a brief moment, but it was very sharp and very clear. All I knew was that my heart rate already started to increase from that look alone.  
  
"Zack?" I questioned, standing quickly so that we were eye to eye. Guilt. That was what that look was. And earlier...this was not good. This was so not good.  
  
"Jhon..." he said, his words trailing off slightly. Two things struck me. First, he looked so miserable that I couldn't help but feel some kind of sympathy. This wasn't failing at his job. This struck him much, much deeper. Second, it was the very first time he had ever shortened my name. And then all of a sudden, he didn't have to say it. I knew. I just knew.  
  
"Oh God," I gasped. "Who?" The hard edge of his normal expression began to creep back, but I wasn't playing with that. "Don't you dare tell me that it's better I don't know," I snarled. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Kay backing away from me. "Who do they have? And why did you tell me everything was fine if they have one of us?"  
  
"Because she got in trouble right after...after...and she really is fine."  
  
"Who, Zack?" My heart was slamming in my chest. Why wasn't he telling me? Please don't let it be...no...please not...  
  
"Keep your head soldier," he said warningly. He looked down for a second. "Bryn."  
  
Everything in a flash. She was so small. Scared to go. Promised. Promised to stay by her side and protect her. Running so fast. Keeping her close. So scared. So scared when I told her. Told her to go on without me. Had to go back. Wasn't going to lose Eva and Zack. Had to go back. Told her I would get her later. Protect her. Just go now. She went over the fence and I left her all alone because I had to get Zack from where he had been stunned...  
  
"No," I whispered in a tiny voice. "Zack, no."  
  
He was the only person in the world that understood why I was so upset. Only person that could understand really. "It wasn't your fault," he said gently. "You were under orders and she knew that. She understood the need for separation."  
  
I shook my head, trying to keep from breaking down into tears. "No. If I had done what I said I would do, then she would be here with me. And she would be safe and they wouldn't have her."  
  
"She was sick, Jhondie," Zack said firmly. "That's what I had to come here to tell you. There's a genetic defect, one that can cause spontaneous aging."  
  
"Werner's Syndrome," I muttered, knowing exactly what it was. I had seen a couple of kids with it at the hospital when I was volunteering there. Not a pretty way to go.  
  
"Yeah," he confirmed. "Any of us might have it. There's only one cure and she chose it."  
  
I blinked, and then looked at him directly. "A cure?" I questioned, not wanting to believe what I was hearing.  
  
"They can fix it if it starts." In a way, I think he was trying to justify his actions to himself as much as explain it to me. After I thought about it later, I realized how much it must have hurt him as well. Hurt him enough to be willing to talk and explain. At the moment though, I could only understand one thing. It hadn't been them chasing her down an alley and cornering her with stunners or shooting her in a non-lethal place. It had been a choice.  
  
"Jhon," he continued, his words speeding up, "she was dying. I got her away, but there was no way to save her. She was going to die. She chose the only route to live."  
  
I didn't think. It was just instant reaction. All of a sudden Zack was against the wall, his feet off of the floor and my hand was wrapped around his throat, holding him there. "YOU BASTARD!" I screamed at him. "YOU LET THEM HAVE HER!" From the corner of my eye I could see Kayla practically diving behind our very white-faced mother. It's one thing to intellectually know what someone is capable of. It's quite another to see your very slim daughter lift a six-foot man off of his feet and hold him there with one hand.  
  
Zack didn't waste time with words. Words were not "Zack" in such a situation. He backhanded me instead, making me stumble back and drop him. My lip stung and I could taste blood but instead of that reminding me that Zack had always been better at hand to hand combat, it just pissed me off the more.  
  
He rushed me, but I was still the quicker one. I sidestepped at the last second, my knee intentionally coming up hard into his midsection where I knew how badly he was already hurt there. Hurt or not, he caught my leg and slung me into the wall hard enough to crack the drywall, dazing me for a second. He was in my face in a second, pinning me to the wall.  
  
"What's your choice solider?" he yelled, our noses almost touching. "You can feel your body aging all around you, failing, crumbling, and nothing can save you but them. You're dying. There's no hope but that. So what's your choice? You want to die? Or you want them to save you? 'Cause that's your only option."  
  
I was squirming, trying to get away from him, but I stilled, the horror of that thought drilling into me and releasing violently. "DEATH FIRST!" I shouted at him, shoving him back. Our eyes locked in that sudden silence.  
  
"Jhondie," Mom gasped out, trying to find a voice.  
  
My head snapped sharply to them. "Stay out of this, Mother," I snarled coldly. "This is not your world."  
  
I looked back at Zack, our eyes seeming to rivet into each other. "Swear to me, Zack," I hissed. "If you can't do it yourself, then make sure I can before you go. Because if they get to me and I can't...I swear, whatever remains of me will never forgive you and I'll hunt your ass into the ground myself."  
  
"You really think you could do it?" he growled in a low voice.  
  
"Forty-six hours and eleven minutes," I said in that same cold hissing tone. He knew damn well what I was referring to. "And they've had ten years to find even better things to do to us. All they are ever going to get from me again is a corpse." The coldness faded out and it was just me talking to my brother, my voice dropping to a shaky whisper. "You don't think they know how you got away? You really think they would believe I don't know anything? Forty-six hours and eleven minutes. I can't do that again. I won't. Swear to me. Promise me you won't let them no matter what." A long moment passed  
  
"I promise," he whispered so softly that it could have been just his lips moving.  
  
I nodded ever so slightly. "Go." My eyes closed for a long moment, and when they opened, he was gone. A single sob welled up from deep inside, and I was suddenly on the floor, my knees to my chest, wishing for anything that would make this just go away. 


	3. Fall Out

Justin  
  
You know your day just went to hell when your plans are to take your girlfriend for some dinner and then back to your apartment for whatever else might happen, but when you walk into her house, she's on the floor crying and her mother and sister look like they were too terrified to move. The door was already wide open and that was the scene in the living room when I walked inside. I had missed Zack's exit by about three seconds, but I didn't know that until later.  
  
Kayla was pressed up so tight against her mother that it looked like she was trying to prove Newton wrong, and Mrs. Harris was holding her tightly. And then I noticed the cracked wall. For once, I could wait for an explanation. I brushed past Mrs. Harris and went straight to my girlfriend, dropping to my knees and pulling her close to me. Mrs. Harris didn't seem upset that I had just walked in the house. I normally wouldn't be that rude, but the wide open door had worried me. Looked like I had other things to worry about.  
  
"Baby, what..." I started to ask, but then I got a look at her. Her bottom lip was split and slightly swollen. Blood was still oozing out of it and onto her chin. Her right eye had that red puffed look that heralded a spectacular shiner to come. There was only one person that I knew who came around and could get the better of Jhondie.  
  
"Want me to kick his ass for you?" I asked lightly.  
  
She sniffed. "Sweet that you want a matching crack in the wall, but it won't help."  
  
Kayla let out a little grunt of annoyance. "Did *everyone* but me know?" she cried. She jerked away from her mother and looked at her in expectation.  
  
That seemed to help Mrs. Harris get back her equilibrium. Jhondie was still sniffing, but not crying like she had been. She was still holding onto me and didn't seem like she was planning on letting go any time soon. I would take care of Jhondie; she knew that, she needed to take care of her other daughter. I glanced at the crack in the wall again. From what Kay had just said, I was willing to bet she had just met Zack. I had never seen him and Jhondie get into it, but I could imagine what it had been like.  
  
"Justin was the only person besides your father and I that knows," Mrs. Harris answered. Jhondie still hadn't told her mother about Dr. Lee. Mentioning him at the moment would have been very, very bad timing.  
  
Mrs. Harris blew out a breath and shot me a look of gratitude for being there. "Kay, help me get some ice for Jhondie. Justin, can you..." I waved her on, knowing I would be able to talk to Jhondie better without her mother and sister there. They went into the kitchen, and for a moment, all I could do was hold her and wonder what the hell happened.  
  
"I thought he only yelled when you weren't being a good soldier," I said softly.  
  
She let out a little self-derisive laugh. "He does until you jump him and start screaming," she said bitterly. "Then he reminds you that he's still better at hand to hand." She looked up at me, the pain in her eyes enough to make me want to cry. "Manticore got Bryn. She was sick and when she said she didn't want to die, he let them take her. He told me and I kind of lost it on him."  
  
"Oh, God, baby, I'm sorry," I said, understanding now why they had gotten into a fight. I knew Jhondie's opinions on Manticore and going back. There was nothing that would make her return to them. I didn't like hearing it, but I knew she would rather be dead. I knew far more than she realized about what she had been through and I could at least understand her view on going back.  
  
"I just can't help but feel like there was something I could have done, should have done," she said emotionally, tears starting to flow again. "I don't care if she was sick. Maybe I could have done something and...and...oh God, how can anyone choose to go back to that hell?"  
  
I had no idea what to say to that. Nothing was going to make it better, make her feel like she wasn't responsible. She wasn't. I knew sometimes she felt bad because she had a great life and Zack was always running around and taking care of everyone. She felt like if she would have helped him, then maybe he could have something of his own. But Zack wasn't the type to ask for help once he'd made up his mind. And I was willing to bet he had decided on the separation policy from the moment they started their escape.  
  
I picked Jhondie up and moved her over to the couch. She didn't try to resist, but just held onto me tightly. I was just glad I could give her some kind of comfort. My specialty was words, but at the moment, I couldn't find a single one to make things better. "I'm going to get that ice," I finally said, disentangling from her. "Be back in just a second." She nodded and pulled back into a little ball, her knees tucked against her chest, arms wrapped around her legs.  
  
I went into the kitchen where Mrs. Harris was still filling Kayla in on a lot of the missing details. I was still curious to know exactly how Kayla had found out. Zack was usually very careful on when he came and left here. As far as I knew, Kay had never even met him as a "friend" of Jhondie's.  
  
"So you're saying that she's not even a human?" Kayla asked with all of her teenage snottiness completely back in gear.  
  
"She is very much human," Mrs. Harris shot back. "What they did to her genetically does not alter the fact that she can think and feel and breathe just like any normal person."  
  
Kayla made a little noise of disgust. "But you just said that she's got cat DNA in her. If she's half cat, then I'm going to go with not a human."  
  
"You do that," I said conversationally, getting some ice from the freezer and wrapping it in a towel, "and it makes her cry even once and I will personally kick your ass. Right now, I would say she's a hell of a lot more human than you're being." Kayla's jaw dropped open, and Mrs. Harris had to fight back a laugh. I had stood up to Zack before to defend Jhondie. This kid was not nearly as scary.  
  
Kayla's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, right, like you really believe that. If you did, then you two would be married or something by now. The only reason you're not is because you don't want a freak for a wife and a bunch of half- freak kids running around."  
  
I glared at her coldly. "Jhondie's got a good heart and a sense of compassion and decency. I guess in light of the people you hang out with, that would seem like a freak thing. I kind of like it, myself. And as far as why we aren't married, that's none of your damn business."  
  
"That's enough, you two," Mrs. Harris interjected quickly. She looked at her daughter quickly. "Do you think Tori is a freak?"  
  
Kayla gave her a look that clearly said her mother had lost it. "No," she answered. Tori was one of her friends that was less pierced than most.  
  
"She had gene therapy when she was younger to cure her of epilepsy," Mrs. Harris said pointedly. "They changed her DNA. But you think of her as just a regular girl." Kayla blinked, the point setting in. Mrs. Harris looked over at me. "Jhondie could probably use that ice now," she said. I took the hint and went back to the living room and sat back down beside Jhondie.  
  
She wasn't crying. That might have been a good thing, but I wasn't sure at the moment. Very gently, I pressed the towel against her face, letting the ice help with the swelling. She put her hand over mine, holding it there for a minute before holding the towel by herself. "I would kiss you right now," she said in a low voice, her words sounding funny as they stumbled over her split lip, "but I think that would hurt." I smiled a little and pressed a kiss to her forehead. It looked like the least bruised part of her face at the moment.  
  
"So how did Kay meet Zack?" I asked.  
  
Jhondie sighed. "She was in my closet and I didn't know. Zack came in, we talked, said a lot of things that shouldn't have been said in front of her. Then there was that little earthquake and something fell in my closet. Thought it was Cody. It wasn't. Mom came home just then. Kay freaked. She'd be okay I guess if I hadn't gotten into it with Zack." Absently, she used the edge of the towel to wipe the blood off of her face and chin, wincing slightly at the pressure on her lip.  
  
Mrs. Harris and Kayla came out of the kitchen then. Kay sat down on the side chair, staring at Jhondie's back suspiciously. "So..." she said, "you know that Amazon chick that's been saying she's going to kick my butt and take Frankie? Does this mean you can, you know, take her out with extreme prejudice?"  
  
Jhondie slowly turned and stared at her sister for a long moment. And then she burst into laughter. Kayla grinned and I think Mrs. Harris and I both decided that the heart attack could wait until later. I don't know what her mother had said to her after I left, but suddenly having a genetically engineered sister might not be the worst thing in the world to Kayla. And I actually knew what Kayla was talking about for once. The girl she was referring to was six feet tall and probably weighed about 180. Kayla was seven inches shorter and sixty pounds lighter. There wouldn't be a contest.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't exactly stop her from taking Frankie, but I can guarantee she would regret ever touching you," Jhondie finally replied. Kayla pretended to pout at that and then smiled again. I was starting to think that Kayla knowing might be a good thing. Maybe it would help her and Jhondie to start getting along again in a weird way. Maybe then she wouldn't need her freak friends as much. Nah...I didn't have any ulterior motives for wanting things to calm down around this household, really I didn't.  
  
"Why are you worried that someone is going to find you now, anyways?" she asked curiously. "Like, how are they even going to know who you are? You were a little kid last time they saw you. That guy...Zack...he was saying that other chick got busted for trusted the wrong person. No one here is going to rat you out."  
  
In response Jhondie turned and moved her hair, showing Kayla the back of her neck. I knew that there had only been two accidental viewings of Jhondie's neck in her life, once with me and once with Dad. Not a bad track record really. At least now she could wear a ponytail around the house.  
  
Kayla's jaw dropped and she started sputtering. "But...but...I've seen your hair up before! You didn't have it like at your prom!"  
  
"I know," Jhondie replied calmly, turning back around. "I can have it removed, but it comes back. I did that right before my prom. You know how some people have a mole that comes back even if it gets removed? This barcode is hardwired into my genetic code."  
  
"That's kind of cool looking," Kay commented. "My tight-assed sister actually has something cool on her body. Bet 'Trina would want one if she saw it too even."  
  
"For the first part of my life, it was everything that I was. My name, my designation, the definition of what I was supposed to be." Jhondie said coldly. Her hand clamped down on mine tightly. Kay was going into some seriously bad territory and I didn't think she had the ability to see what she was doing. "It's not 'cool'," Jhondie continued, the ice still coloring her words. "It's a ball and chain stamped into my neck."  
  
"Jhondie," Mrs. Harris interjected sharply. "Kayla doesn't know anything about what you've been through. This isn't easy for her to handle and I think she's doing rather well under the circumstances. The least you can do is try to not get defensive when she says something because she doesn't understand everything. I'm sure you had to explain a lot of this when you told Justin."  
  
Actually, no, she didn't. I never thought the barcode was cool. Then again, I met her when she jumped out of a third story window, so I never really thought of her as a normal girl. But I was also older and had already gone through that teenage thoughtlessness that was getting Kayla to say things to Jhondie even though it was obvious that the subject was quite painful to her. Jhondie had told me things as she had gotten more comfortable with me. I had always had good instincts when it came to questioning people, and I had known then not to push Jhondie. I think that's why she was willing to talk to me. I didn't keep demanding more. Well, there was that once in Boston, but that was a special circumstance. And now...I knew enough now as to why she wouldn't talk about some things.  
  
Jhondie looked over at Kayla who had shrunk back slightly, looking at her with the same expression that she had when she was in the kitchen. "I was in a prison," Jhondie explained much more softly. I could tell that she was starting to have to fight back tears. "And that barcode on my neck is always there to remind me of what they thought of me." She was clinching her jaw. When that started, talking needed to stop. But she continued, her words more hesitant now, the coldness not lending to a smooth flow anymore. "What they wanted me to be. I was their possession. Their grand experiment. We were numbers to them." A tear slid down her cheek. "When we started naming ourselves, we had to be careful because we could be punished for calling someone by their name and not designation." She wasn't really staring at Kayla anymore. Her eyes had darkened and she seemed more like she was staring into a black well of memories.  
  
Kayla had the grace to look uncomfortable. Unfortunately, Mrs. Harris didn't know when to stop it either. I didn't realize then how little Jhondie had told her mother about Manticore. It was hard for her to get Jhondie to talk about it and when she did, typically they would get interrupted and have to stop. Jhondie was talking now and nobody was there to interrupt. But it had gone far enough already. I knew it. However, I knew her so much better than they did.  
  
"Jhondie," she asked gently, "what was so important about forty-six hours?"  
  
Jhondie's hand clenched on mine reflexively hard enough to make me wince as she shot her mother a look so black Mrs. Harris recoiled slightly. "Lydecker had a point to prove," she said slowly through clenched teeth.  
  
"Jhon," I got out in a strained voice, pointing at our joined hands. Her hand was tightening on mine even more and I was starting to hear bones grinding together. She looked at me and then down at her hand, the knuckles going white. She let go immediately with a little gasp, her eyes getting big. My hand was the same shade of red as around her eye, that shade that you know is going to turn into a bruise.  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered, looking up at me, fear and shock in her eyes. It wasn't like this was the first time she had grabbed me too hard, but I was willing to bet the events of the day were becoming too much for her and this was just the breaking point. "Are you...I...I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay," I said quickly with a small reassuring smile. I shook my hand a little. "I'm fine, don't get upset. It's okay." She still looked like she was about to break into tears.  
  
She shook her head. "I need to get out of here," she said quickly, jumping to her feet.  
  
"Honey," Mrs. Harris said, the concern obvious, "I'm sorry if I upset you..."  
  
"No," Jhondie cut her off, "I just...I just need to get out of here." She turned and raced up the stairs to her room.  
  
Mrs. Harris looked over at me. "Do you..." As her words trailed off, I marked it as the first time I had ever seen her at a total loss.  
  
I thought about it for a second. Yeah. I knew. Not the whole thing I was sure, but I could fill in the blanks. "Let me talk to her," I said, and headed upstairs to Jhondie's room. 


	4. Struggles

Jhondie  
  
I was throwing some stuff in a bag when Justin came in my room. I wanted to tell him to get out. I wanted to yell and scream and cry and a whole host of other things. I wanted it all to just go away. I didn't want superpowers anymore. I hated them. I hated this. I hated my memories. I didn't want to remember Bryn and Max and how cold it was. Didn't want to think about Max going under the ice, but pushing on. She would live. I knew that then. I hated this. HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT!!  
  
Justin didn't say a word to me. Jerk. It wasn't fair. If he had said something I could have yelled at him and pushed past him and stalked out. I had an idea of how to find Zack relatively easy. I could have left LA and taken off with him and helped him keep the others safe from that point on. But Justin didn't say anything. It was like he knew. I don't know. I had never said and there was no way that he could have known why it still hurt so much to think about it, but somehow, he just knew.  
  
No words. He simply took my wrist and kept me from shoving some jeans in my bag. I didn't try to resist. I had hurt him enough already today. Why wasn't he afraid of me? Didn't he see what a monster I was? Couldn't he tell? He was smart; why wouldn't he admit it to himself that I was never going to be safe to have around. I had heard some of what Kayla said in the kitchen. She was right. I wasn't human. Never had been, never would be. Still no words from Justin. I didn't fight him and he pulled me close to him, his arms wrapping tightly around me, my head tucking under his chin, fitting together perfectly as we had so many times before.  
  
"I want to go," I whispered weakly.  
  
"I know."  
  
Still didn't let me go. Strong. Capable. Trained. Dangerous. I was all that and more. Yet I still couldn't get away from him. Shove back. Wouldn't hurt him. Just make him take a step back. Outrun. Easy enough. Gone in an instant. Gone. Everything would be gone. Warmth. Laughter. Hope. Love. A soldier didn't need any of that in her life anyways. Justin couldn't understand that life ever. He had told me before that if I had to leave, he would come with me, but he couldn't. It wasn't a life for a human. Maybe for us, but we weren't human, now were we?  
  
"I don't think I belong here anymore," I said, trying to make him see. Make him understand. He must have. His arms loosened.  
  
"I think you're right about that," he said softly, looking down at me. "I think you belong with me." He touched my face softly. Had I any tears left, I would have probably been crying again. "Come home with me." And then his arms tightened around me again and I was listening to the soothing sound of his heart beating steadily.  
  
"I hurt you," I said, wanting him to see me the way I really was. How could he trust me? I was nothing but an accident waiting to happen.  
  
"Doesn't count."  
  
Was he that blind? "Of course it counts," I protested. "I hurt you. And next time it might be worse."  
  
A tiny smile brightened his eyes. "Remember a couple of weeks ago when we were playing around and I started tickling you? You hit your head on the side of the bed. If this counts, then that should count more since I was doing it willfully."  
  
There was so much to say. So much to argue. But the silence seemed to make more of a point then words. I wanted to be somewhere where nobody would know I was a freak. Where I could be me. I didn't want to be here. Didn't want little glances trying to check out the barcode. Odd looks when I said something reminiscent of my origins. I just wanted...just wanted to be with someone that knew all of it, and quite simply didn't give a damn.  
  
"Justin?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Take me home."  
  
I didn't realize until he let out a breath that he had been holding it. Again, jerk. He could have let me know he was nervous about the fact I was flipping out on him. Not that I needed him all freaked out. I had to admit, it was nice to know that there was someone else who was willing to be the strong one when I couldn't be. He leaned over and kissed me softly. I knew that he wanted to take away the hurt, but he couldn't really. Some things I was just going to have to shoulder on my own. But it was nice that he was there for now.  
  
"I'll be downstairs," he said. Good. He could take care of my mother and sister and I could walk out. Maybe I would just take the window. I did not want to deal with them anymore today. I had no idea what I might say next. I had spent so long trying to keep things from them for their own good, and now they were pushing, not understanding that they didn't really want to know the truth. They thought they did, but if they had the choice between keeping that knowledge and being able to forget, they would choose forgetting in a second. I knew I would. I bet Kay was already wishing she had stayed in her room and not tried to steal my skirt.  
  
Justin left and I finished throwing some things in my bag. But I did take out our Prom picture and put it back on my shelf. I wasn't going to need it with me. Just some clothes were needed. In reality, I didn't even need those. I had clothes and even a toothbrush over at Justin's already. I sighed. All I had to do to move in there would be changing my address at school. Maybe I should just go ahead and do that. Did I want to move in just to move in though, or was it to hide from my family here? I picked up my bag and headed down the stairs, pausing at the head of them when I heard Kayla speaking.  
  
"I don't get it," she was saying. "Why is Jhondie so freaked about all of that when whatshisface said that the other one *chose* to go back?"  
  
"Zack," Mom interrupted. "His name is Zack."  
  
"Zack, whatever," Kayla said, frustrated. "Point is, how is it so bad for her where she won't even talk about it and the other one decided she would rather go back than die? Aren't you supposed to say you'd rather live than die under any circumstances?"  
  
"I don't know why Jhondie is so different," Mom said as I went down the steps quietly. I could hear the frustration in her voice and knew they must have been trying to get answers from Justin. If anything could have made me love him more, it was knowing that he wasn't letting people know things that I had told him in confidence, even if he thought it was for my own good. "But she thinks she is and that's what counts. I would hope in that kind of situation, she would then realize that there's always another chance for escape if she lived and that..."  
  
"There wouldn't be another chance for me," I said coldly. Mom looked up sharply. She had forgotten how quiet I could move. Never seen, never heard. Maybe that was the Manticore creed. Right up there with Mission, Discipline and Duty. I started walking to the door, and then stopped, knowing I shouldn't be saying it but my mouth going anyways.  
  
"Maybe Bryn can get out. But there's no way that they are going to believe that I don't know where the others are. And trust me, they are going to do whatever is needed to get that out of me."  
  
"Why you?" Kayla asked. If she hadn't of asked like she did, her voice full of snotty disbelief, then I might have ignored her and left. But she needed a dose of reality. I wasn't the girly, fluffy sister she had always thought me to be.  
  
"Because I became Zack's second in command the night we escaped. And I went back and got him out. He took a tazer for Max and I wasn't going to lose him and Eva in the same night. Max went under the ice, good place to hide as any until the guards passed, I sent Bryn on and then I went back for Zack. Stupid guard didn't think any of us would do that. Hadn't even called for reinforcements. Took him out and then helped Zack until he didn't need me and we separated. They wouldn't believe that Zack's kept me in the dark for so long after all of that. By rights, I should either be with him or we're separately helping the others."  
  
I went to leave, but Mom had to ask for a clarification. "You took the guard out? How?" she asked.  
  
"I asked him nicely," I said sarcastically. "With a pretty please and a cherry on top. How do you think, mother? I came up behind him and snapped his neck. He didn't even hear it coming." I hated myself for relishing the look of shock on her face before I turned again and walked out.  
  
Justin  
  
Well, if you wanted a top ten list of seriously dramatic exits, Jhondie's would have to be at the top of said list. The last thing I was ever expecting from her was to admit to killing someone. I didn't know about the guard, but it didn't surprise me. Those kids were running for their lives. Anyone getting in the way at that moment was going to be deemed expendable, especially when they were shooting at them already.  
  
Jhondie brushed past me and jumped into my car. I thought about saying something to Mrs. Harris, but there didn't seem to be anything in the world that would get rid of the shock she had just experienced. Time, maybe. I knew that she knew the purpose of Manticore. What else were they going to be learning there? But she really only knew the Jhondie she had raised. She had never seen Jhondie like I had when we were working for Eyes Only. There was still a soldier lurking beneath the surface. But Jhondie never wanted her mother to see that side of her. Not until today at least.  
  
I got in the driver's seat and Jhondie had her head in her hands. It was an official "oh my God what did I just do" look if I had ever seen one. "Jhondie..." I tried to say something, but even now I'm not sure what was going to come after that.  
  
"Drive," she said tightly. "Please. Just drive."  
  
I started the car and started heading towards my apartment. I had a feeling she was holding onto her mind by the thinnest of threads and didn't want to push her. For the first time I thought about breaking and going behind her back to the boss and ask for his help find a couple more of her siblings. Maybe they would be able to help her deal with this in a way that I couldn't. They had been part of it and had lost their sister too. And Jhondie was dealing not only with the loss of her Manticore sister, but the possible loss of her adoptive family as well.  
  
"I can't believe I said that," she muttered finally. She looked up, her eyes wide and staring blankly ahead. "Oh my God. I can't believe that I said that."  
  
"They needed to hear it," I replied. Maybe. Maybe not. More towards the not, but I wasn't going to tell Jhondie that right then. She looked over at me a little suspiciously.  
  
"You're not surprised at all," she said, her tone suddenly sharp and accusing. "Did you suspect it all along? That I was more of a killer than I had told you."  
  
I wanted to pull over and talk to her calmly. Let her know everything that I knew. But we were on the freeway and if you've ever driven in LA before, you know that causing problems in traffic is a good way to end up with some serious bullet holes riddling your car and body. All I could do then was put on the investigative face and try to keep her from jumping out of the car.  
  
"Let's see, you guys have a hell of a lot of training in how to escape and evade, you're putting it to the ultimate test and they were shooting first. Honestly, I would be surprised if that was the only guard that got killed that night." She seemed to settle back a little. "The only thing that gets to me is why you still feel so bad over what happened to a guy yanked off of death row, but not at all over the other."  
  
She shrugged, still looking defensive. "The night we escaped, I was fighting for my life. Zack's life, all of them. The other time...we were just animals on the hunt." Now the defensiveness seemed to fade. "I can stand the thought of protecting the people I love. I don't want to be...someone who can hurt people deliberately. Like I just did to Mom and Kay." Her bruised and swollen face was back in her hands and she was crying again.  
  
This time I was close enough to an exit. I cut down it sharply, pulling into an abandoned restaurant's parking lot and took her in my arms as soon as I could throw the car into park. She tried to pull away from me but I wasn't about to let her go. For once she wasn't going to have to face her nightmares alone. She was going to know that I was there with her and for her.  
  
"Don't touch me!" she cried, trying to get away from me. Well, at least making an attempt at acting like she didn't want me to touch her. If she really didn't, she would have gotten out of the car. Instead of listening, I jerked her to me and didn't let go. If she wanted to get away, she was going to have to use force.  
  
"No," I said, trying to hold onto as much of her as I could. "I won't let you go. Not like this, baby. Not ever."  
  
"DON'T YOU GET IT?" she screamed at me, making me jerk back, almost letting her go but not quite. Her eyes blazed hotly at me. "I'M NOT HUMAN!" Her voice lowered slightly, but there was no less intensity to go with the lowering of the volume. "I am going to hurt you. I am going to lie to you and make you miserable. And you can say all you want that good times make up for it, but it doesn't change the fact that I can't be human. All I can do is hurt people and cause pain and suffering. And lies. Oh God, I can lie like you can't believe. And I am going to do it because I can't keep from doing it. I can try to stop myself and be a good person, but underneath that monster, that animal is still there." A harsh sob wracked her body. "I can't ever be a human, Justin. You've seen me at my worst, why won't you understand that?"  
  
I had never, ever suspected the depths of the hurt Manticore had done to her. She had been out for so many years. She had been free for so long, I didn't think she could still think like that. Still believe all of the lies that they had beat into her. "Jhondie," I managed to get out, my voice higher pitched then normal. "Of course we're going to have bad times. You're going to make me mad and hurt me and I'm going to do the same to you. Lots of things are going to be said and done that we regret. And we'll make up for it later and try again. That *is* what makes you human all along."  
  
Her struggles ended and she collapsed against my chest, both of us rocking slightly and for a long time on that dark, early spring night, I wasn't sure if the moisture on my face was from her tears or mine. 


	5. Bad to Worse

Justin  
  
Over the next week or so, things outwardly seemed to be going on like normal, but nothing at all was the same as it had been before. Jhondie had gone home the next day and everyone was acting weird, like it was all some play and they were all afraid to adlib anything outside their appointed lines. Life fell back into its routine, but not as neatly as before. There was still school and I was working on some articles of my own and some for the boss and Jhondie was studying and helping out with Eyes Only, but nothing was the same. She was too calm. Too composed. All of the fire and passion just wasn't there anymore.  
  
And yes, I do mean all of the passion. Since the night in the car, we hadn't had much of a sex life at all. Actually, we hadn't had one at all. Yeah, yeah, I know, the girlfriend's going through a major trauma, and I'm still thinking with the pants. It wasn't like that at all though. Well, not completely. I was trying to be caring and sympathetic. I was trying to be understanding and patient. But that can only go on for so long and then the dark attitude really starts to get to you.  
  
I was also busy as hell right then and that wasn't helping. I just didn't have the time to pander to Jhondie's moods. I had a couple of final projects due so that I could get my degree and was working on three articles that could be published locally. Also, the boss had some leads and I was hot on finding the shadow man that so many of the local crime bosses had been answering to. Brent Lake, Gorgeous George Simon and a lot of others, many of who were deceased and replaced quickly had been reporting to whoever he was, and I was determined to find the guy. My partner not being in a mood to help was seriously hindering the effort. If it hadn't been for Nikki, I wouldn't have been nearly as far along. I would be doing better if she knew exactly what I was up to, but I couldn't tell her everything yet. I was starting to think that I could trust her enough, but it just wasn't safe for her to know about my connection to Eyes Only.  
  
Jhondie was also spending a lot more time over at my place. I didn't mind having her there normally, but now she was moping. And thinking. Thinking while depressed was not good for her. I was starting to expect to come home one day and her just be gone from the city. Maybe with a note trying to apologize, and maybe not. It was the uncertainty that was getting to me the most and making me feel like I was stretching like a rubber band. She was still tense about her mother and sister, but I figured in time that would get improve as Kayla got used to having a unique sister and her mother accepted that Manticore wasn't a summer camp. Those kids were being trained to kill, and they had been put into a serious survival situation.  
  
But things were getting better. That was what was keeping me holding on. Jhondie had smiled a couple of times in the last few days and I had actually heard her laugh finally. So I knew things were going to get better. It was tough what she was going through, but she needed to get over it and move on with her life. She had stopped mentioning the possibility of leaving and I felt a thousand times better for it. She was going to get over it and then we could go on like before. Our anniversary was coming up soon and I had been making some plans for it. Nikki knew about them and she approved highly. She knew Jhondie had been a "little down" (I told her that Jhondie was having family problems) and she said that if this didn't perk Jhondie up, she would gladly sub for her. I had to laugh at that. Nikki had no idea how hazardous to her health that might be. The important thing was that it wouldn't be needed. Things were getting better.  
  
Of course, if you want things to go from bad to excruciatingly horrific, get a teenager.  
  
Jhondie  
  
I was tired of hiding from my family. That's the main reason I went home that evening. I had been spending so much time over at Justin's because I didn't want to deal with them. I loved being at his place, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't there just to spend time with him. I would rather be somewhere that I could relax rather than being tense all of the time, waiting for the next volley of questions.  
  
The worst part was that Mom was going out of her way to show that everything was fine and that I was perfectly accepted in the family, just as before. It was those little reminders; like that I could wear a ponytail any time I wanted now. Or the fact that if there was a jar with a tight lid, I was the one it was suddenly given to rather than pounding it on the edge of the counter until Mom could open it. It wasn't the point that I could open it. It was the fact that she was so determined to make me feel normal, that I was feeling more freakish. And that was getting to me more and more.  
  
I wasn't sure how I felt about the situation with my other family as well. Guilty. That's one way I could say that I felt. Guilty that I was free and Bryn wasn't. Guilty that I hadn't been there to help her. And in a way, guilty that I didn't have the guts to call Zack and tell him that I wanted to help and really be part of the team. It's what Eva would have done, but I wasn't Eva. It still killed me to think that maybe there was something, anything that I could have done. It wasn't likely or Zack would have brought her to me, but I couldn't help think it anyways. I could see now why Zack preached so hard against having ties. If it wasn't for my family here and Justin, I would have stepped into the role that I assumed the night Eva was murdered.  
  
But if I couldn't bring myself to do that, then I needed to learn how to live here all over again. I knew it would get better in time. Mom would calm down and Kayla would stop asking me questions. That was the worst part. She was forever asking me something totally out of the blue and not caring how much I didn't want to talk about it. I was glad that she mostly left the subject of Manticore itself alone and wanted to know more about me. What was I trained to do and what could I do? I didn't tell her the disturbing stuff. As a matter of fact, I gave her just enough to get her to leave me alone.  
  
But I should have known better. Kayla had asked me lots of things about myself, and I had chalked it up to natural curiosity. But she was not by nature an intensely curious person unless it pertained to something she wanted. Then she would pester you to death. And at the time, her two interests in life were popularity and her boyfriend. And my little sister was smart. Smart enough to be stupid at any rate. She thought she had the pieces. What she didn't understand was that there was a lot more to my abilities than being able to open a jar of peanut butter.  
  
Kayla still didn't know that I didn't sleep. It wasn't something I thought to tell her, and she had never questioned it. She never had a reason to think I didn't. I had long been in the habit of turning off my light when it was time to sleep and reading in the dark. I could see just as well in the dark. It was a nice quiet time for me to study. I had gotten a little behind in the last week, and I had some reading to do to catch up. I normally never got behind, but I had missed a couple of days of school while waiting for my black eye to heal. The last thing I wanted was someone questioning me about having an abusive boyfriend.  
  
And that would have been questioned in my Women's Studies class. The girls in there were mostly of the "Men Are Pigs" set. The last thing I wanted was to say that it wasn't my boyfriend; it was my brother that kicked the crap out of me. Maybe it would have gotten me kicked out of the class. That would have been a plus. Then I would have gotten out of all of the reading that I had to do that night for it.  
  
Stupid class anyways. Why were we required to take such stupid "diversity" classes anyways? I wanted to be a doctor. I already knew what it was like to be a woman; I didn't need to study it. It irritated me because there were all these women out there that spent twenty-five years in the home raising a family, and then decided that they were going to be empowered and overthrow the male oppression that forced them into that life. And then they wrote a book on it and I had to read it. Idiots. For some reason, that whole "I didn't think I had a choice" excuse didn't fly with me.  
  
I had stopped listening to music when I studied about a year or so ago. I found myself putting the parts of the body to music and humming it during tests. It kind of freaked people out to hear a rather ghoulish version of popular songs. So at three in the morning, it was deathly quiet in the house. I wasn't really into what I was reading; like I said, the women that wrote this crap needed to stop whining that it was all men's fault and deal with the consequences of their decisions. If there had been a breath of wind that night, even my super-sensitive hearing wouldn't have caught it, but it was an incredibly still night. So when I heard the soft scraping sound, I was immediately on alert, every hair on my body standing on end. A window had just opened in my house.  
  
My first thought was that they found me. Even though logic defied it, I couldn't help but think it. Somewhere I knew that if it were Manticore, then a whole bunch of TAC teams would have come crashing into the place, not sneaking in. My second thought was a burglar. I slid out of my room, moving with absolute stealth. The creaky floorboard didn't even make a sound. And that was when I heard a tiny giggle from Kayla's room.  
  
I moved to her door and listened. They were being quiet, but there was no quiet enough when an X-5 was listening on the other side of a bedroom door. I heard the other voice and had to bite back either a groan or a snarl, I wasn't sure which would come out. My darling sister had decided that since her boyfriend wasn't welcome through the front door, he would be allowed to come in through the window.  
  
"See baby," Frankie was saying to her, "Nobody can keep real love apart. And that's what this is. They think you're still a little girl. But I know you're a woman. A woman ready to be loved." And then there was the distinctive sound of the bed creaking as their weight slid down on it.  
  
I didn't hesitate. With everything that had been going on, my tolerance level was zero, especially when some future three-striker was working on committing statutory rape on my little sister. Kayla's door was locked and she had a chair against it, but it was still no contest against a powerful spin kick being delivered by a pissed off X-5. The door literally exploded open, slamming against the wall so hard that the handle was embedded into the wall behind it.  
  
When I recounted the story a couple of years later, I started laughing hysterically when I remembered the looks on their faces as the door flew open. Frankie was mostly on top of Kayla and her pajama top was unbuttoned. I had never seen such "busted" looks in my life. It was probably somewhere close to the way I looked when Zack caught me and Justin together, but I wasn't reminding myself of that just then. The shock and fear on their faces was just pissing me off all the more.  
  
Frankie leapt to his feet, more composed than Kayla was. I was willing to bet that he was a veteran of getting caught in the act by parents or his other girlfriends or maybe even a husband or two. He quickly began zipping his jeans back up and buckling his belt.  
  
"Get out," I growled low. I heard Mom's bedroom door slam and her footsteps running up the hall, but I was more focused on this piece of trash in front of me.  
  
"Sure, sure, I'm going," he said casually. His back was mostly to Kayla and he gave me an apprising look. I was just in cut off sweat shorts and a tank top, my usual bed attire. "There's no need to rush," he added. Maybe Kayla was naïve enough to not know what he meant, but I wasn't.  
  
My eyes narrowed and I advanced. "Get out and you better never come near her again," I hissed.  
  
He snorted. "You and what army gonna stop me?" he asked, the testosterone answering before his brain could engage. He was big, way bigger than me, and to prove his point, he put his hand on my shoulder and shoved me.  
  
Wrong answer. I had his wrist in my hand before he could even think about pulling away and jerked him forward, bringing my knee up hard into his ribs. The air woofed out of him and he stumbled back a step. Just the room I needed for a kick into his chest, slamming him hard against the wall.  
  
"C'mon little boy," I jeered at him, waiting for him to twitch so I could go into round two. "This army's just getting warmed up."  
  
Now Kayla was screaming bloody murder and from what seemed like a distance I heard my mother shout, "Jhondie! Sta...stop it!" She had almost said 'stand down'. She had heard Zack use those words on me a few times, and it was one of the very few military phrases that still got to me. I froze in place. Now Frankie was completely stunned. I bet getting caught had never gone like this for him before.  
  
Kay was still screaming at me. I think she was trying to say words, but they were all tangled up in sobs as well. Mom looked at her sharply. I was the one that had been trained to be a killer, and even I took a step back from that look. "Young lady," she said, her voice carrying over the screams, "shut your damn mouth." Kay's screeches cut off cold. I had never heard her cuss at one of us before. Ever.  
  
Frankie was getting to his feet and Mom approached him. He wasn't ready to tangle again with another woman in my family and besides, from the look on Mom's face, I was backing off and I hadn't been the one to do anything wrong. "Get out of my house," she said in a low, menacing tone. "And if I ever see you near my daughter again, you're ass is going to be in jail so fast, you won't even have time to grab your soap on a rope, you understand that?"  
  
He nodded. For a second I thought he was going to say something, but then he showed far more intelligence than I had given him credit for and shut his mouth. Mom escorted him out of the house and for a few minutes, Kayla and I were alone.  
  
"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?" she screamed as soon as Mom was out of the room. "YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THAT!"  
  
I knew that her anger was based on the embarrassment of being caught. I knew that she was lashing out at me because of that anger. These were things I had learned in a psych class. So, armed with that knowledge and being a mature adult, I replied by screaming back at her, "BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE LIVING WITH A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD SLUT!"  
  
Her jaw dropped. "I am not a slut!" she yelled indignantly. Mom chose that moment to come back into the room. Kayla looked to her for support. Keep looking kid. That was the last place you were going to find it. "We're not being bad, Mom," she protested. "We're in love!"  
  
Mom was quiet for a long moment. "Button your shirt," she said with pointed calmness. Kayla flushed even redder than she was and snatched her pajama top closed. I had never heard Mom use that tone of voice with me. Even when she found out that I had sex for the first time, she didn't use it with me.  
  
"At fourteen it's very easy to confuse love and lust," Mom said in that same tone. Her eyes narrowed. "But the next time that he tries to help you sort it out, he will be in jail and you, little girl, will be enjoying an all girl's school with bars on the windows." I didn't know what school Mom was thinking about, but I was willing to bet that it would make Manticore look like a dream.  
  
Kayla glared at me furiously. "Happy now?" she spit out. "I didn't know you'd stoop to spying on me!"  
  
I rolled my eyes. "You're not that interesting," I sneered. "Just that stupid. I don't sleep. You never bothered to ask me about that. And I can hear your heart beating right now. If you're going to be sneaky, be quiet while doing so." I blew out a breath. "Love?" I muttered in disgust. "He's not into love. He's into getting some tail."  
  
Kayla snorted. "So you're all 'normal' till you feel like screwing someone over with your mutant freak powers." Her eyes narrowed maliciously. "No wonder you don't understand me and Frankie. You'd have to be human first to know what love is."  
  
If she had hit me full force it wouldn't have had the same power her comment did. I couldn't believe that she would say that to me. Neither could Mom. "KAYLA SUSAN HARRIS!" she shouted, shock taking most of the strength from her voice, "Apologize to your sister at once!"  
  
"It's true!" Kayla cried. "She's not!" She looked back at me. "Why else aren't you living with Justin or married to him? Because he doesn't want some freak permanently. You're not real to him either. You're...you're just a pet."  
  
"Kayla, downstairs now," Mom ordered. Kayla went to protest, but Mom overrode her. "NOW!" she shouted. Kayla got off of her bed and went to the door, pausing to glare at us both one more time.  
  
"I see how it is now. She's special, so she gets all the special treatment and the real humans get shit on." Her nose went in the air and she walked away with the air of the unjustly wounded.  
  
Mom came to me, trying to be sympathetic and apologetic all at once. "She didn't mean it," she was saying. "She's just mad, and...and..."  
  
"I know," I said hollowly. I did know. So why was I so cold? So empty?  
  
Mom tried to say something else, comforting and reassuring probably, but I was gone before she could finish. 


	6. Critical Mass

Justin  
  
It wasn't the first time that I was woken up by a feeling of a warm body climbing into bed with me right before dawn. I opened one eye to make sure it was Jhondie and not some really strange new kind of burglar and then shut it again as she snuggled against me. I wasn't expecting her over that night but I didn't care. It was hard to get her to lie down for more than a few minutes and over the last week or so, I don't think she slept once. So whatever the reason for her to show up, I didn't care. I just stretched out, wrapping my arms around her and rubbing her back lightly. Peaceful and comfortable.  
  
So when she jumped up, yelling at me all of a sudden, it was, to say the least, like getting a face full of cold water. "STOP PETTING ME!" she screamed all of a sudden.  
  
"Huh?" Not everyone can be a master of words at 4:07 AM.  
  
"I'm not a pet!" she snapped. "You can't just stroke me and think I'm going to purr and crawl up in your lap! It's not going to work!"  
  
I managed to blink and sit up at the same time. I had never claimed to understand women and never would make that claim, but this was stumping me beyond all reason. "What?"  
  
"Don't pet me," she repeated slowly.  
  
I thought about what I had done. "Okay, so a week ago you liked it when I rubbed your back and now it's not okay?" I blew out a breath. I had been asleep for barely three hours and trying to have a conversation like this. Not going to happen.  
  
I shook my head. "You know what? Don't answer that. It's too early and I'm too tired. You know where the computer and the fridge are. Do whatever you want. I'm going back to sleep." And then I fell back onto the bed.  
  
I heard her walk out of the room and the door shut softly. I think I would have felt better if it had slammed. Slammed doors were signs of momentary irritation. This wasn't momentary, but damn it, I was sick and tired of this crap. I laid there for what must have been two hours. Sleep was not going to happen. I glanced at the clock. 4:16 AM. Figures. I got up, more grateful than anyone could imagine that I didn't have class until 2:30 the next day.  
  
As I reached for the handle to open the bedroom door, the door suddenly yanked open and Jhondie walked right into my chest. We both took a step back, startled that the other was there. There was just enough light to show that she had been crying. And it hadn't just been in the last few minutes either. Your eyes didn't get that red from just a few minutes of tears.  
  
She came back to me instantly, her arms encircling my neck and holding onto me tightly. I still had no clue what the hell was going on, but I wrapped my arms around her and tried to come up with a coherent sentence. I normally don't require a lot of sleep, but I did need some to function intelligently. This was a situation that should be handed after a good night's sleep. But I still gave it my best effort.  
  
"Baby..." I said, but she cut off my words with a kiss.  
  
"Just kiss me," she murmured against my lips. "I'm...It...Just don't stop kissing me, please."  
  
Under normal circumstances I would have known that something was very, very wrong and would then get her to sit down with me while I got out of her what happened. But at that moment, it was more like my mind went "she wants kissing...I can do that!" and the next thing I knew we were falling back into my bed. Trying to get out of her what was wrong was important, even at that moment, I knew it, but after way too much abstinence and way too little sleep, getting her out of her pants was far more important.  
  
Jhondie suddenly stopped moving and caught my face in her hands, our eyes meeting. The pain reflected in them tore into me deep enough to finally start waking me up. I didn't care if sex was going to have to wait or not. I had to make whatever it was that was hurting her stop.  
  
"Tell me you love me," she whispered in a small voice. Okay. She was still making easy requests of me. This I could handle.  
  
"With all my heart and soul, cariña," I whispered back to her.  
  
"Tell me you need me." I didn't understand the desperation in her voice. I knew I should be questioning her but this seemed like the better way to get results. Maybe had I gone with instincts and made her talk, it would have saved a lot of problems down the road, but again, it was the middle of the night and what I was capable of doing was rather limited at the moment.  
  
"I need you like I need air," I replied, caressing her face and hair. "I could live without you for about as long as I can go without breathing." For whatever reason she was asking me questions that she already knew the answers to, it seemed like what I was saying to her was helping in some strange way.  
  
Now she was crying again, just a few tears, but she was pushing out words through them anyways. "Tell...tell me you want to be with me."  
  
I kissed her. It seemed like the best way to explain everything to her. Why doubt me? Why doubt us? If I had been more awake it might have pissed me off, so I guess it was a good thing that I wasn't. Both of us stopped talking then and just concentrated on what was here and now. Touching and kissing and caressing, letting things come together on their own until both of us were exhausted and satiated, collapsing together in a tangle of arms and legs. Then would have been the best time for talking. I could recognize that. But her eyes were closed and she let out a tiny little snore. Good call, love, I thought and the next thing I knew the sun was rising and I was alone in bed.  
  
I blinked a few times and got up, not sure if last night was a dream or real. From the way I was feeling, chances were that it was real, but it was still a tough call. I pulled on some shorts and went into the living room. Jhondie was out on the balcony, wrapped up in my bathrobe and leaning on the railing.  
  
I went up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and snatching her cup of coffee with the other hand. The fact she didn't threaten my life for stealing her coffee was not a good sign in the slightest. She didn't say anything actually, just turned her head so that her face was resting against my neck. I put down the coffee and held her there with me for a long moment.  
  
"I'm sorry," she finally said very softly. "That's what I was going to say last night, but I don't think those words made it out."  
  
I smiled. "I read between the lines. What happened?"  
  
She burrowed tighter against me. "Kayla...she tried to sneak her boyfriend in last night and I caught them...it wasn't pretty."  
  
I winced. Not pretty. Yeah, I can imagine that. "So I guess I should get dressed then, huh?"  
  
Jhondie looked up at me, confused. I smiled at her. "I told Kayla I would put a hurting on her if she made you upset. I am, as always, a man of my word, you know."  
  
That got a wan smile in response. "I don't think that's going to be needed. It'll all blow over soon enough. Everything's going to be great the next time she wants to borrow a dress or skirt or something."  
  
I think I wanted to believe her. I wanted to think positive that everything was just going to blow over. It was just a squall in the storm of adolescence. I should have questioned further. I should have gotten more information. I should have found out what had really happened and everything that had been said and done. Should...should...should. But I didn't. I had a lot of other things on my mind and it seemed to me that Jhondie was completely ready to get back to her old self. Hindsight is 20/20, I know, but it still drives me crazy to think of all of the torment that was to come. All because of a single missed moment of time as we stood in the early morning sunshine. 


	7. Meltdown

Jhondie  
  
A day passed. Then two and a third followed quickly. The days seemed to flow together in one continuous mass and the next thing I knew I was blinking at the calendar, wondering how over three weeks could disappear and I not even notice. I could tell myself over and over to stop this, you're not helping anyone, least of all yourself, but nothing was working and I really wasn't sure why.  
  
I just couldn't shake off this feeling of doom that was lying over me like a blanket. I knew Justin was feeling hurt and confused at my sudden distance after the night that Kayla tried to sneak her boyfriend in, but I couldn't explain it to myself, so how could I explain things to him? All I knew was that I didn't feel like I belonged anymore. Like I shouldn't be there. Like I should call Zack and make alternate plans for my life.  
  
It wasn't right and it wasn't fair, and intellectually I knew that, but I just couldn't stop feeling that way. It would be better all around. Maybe I needed to be with those that could understand me and what it was like to have gone through everything that I had. And didn't Justin deserve someone that he could really be with forever? He had been spending a lot of the last few weeks with Nikki and I wasn't jealous in the slightest. I wasn't helping him and she was there.  
  
I wondered if she would be there in other ways if I left. I tried making myself think about that to get angry and want to stomp her. I just wanted to feel something really. But it seemed like a good solution. Justin would be upset for a while, but then he could get over it and move on with his life. Nikki was a good person really. Justin deserved to have someone that he could make a real life with. I was a freak of science, obviously not worthy of a lifetime commitment to someone.  
  
He wouldn't leave me alone though. I wasn't pushing him away so much as letting attrition take it's course. That seemed all for the best. Just drift through the days and wait for the inevitable. I still went to school. Routines were still happening. Mom went to work and Kayla was still taking ballet classes three times a week. She wasn't spending all of her time at home on the phone, but that was only because she was seven shades grounded. Justin had a couple of final projects that he was working on and I did what I normally did.  
  
It just all felt so empty and useless. I was living a lie. Nothing was right anymore. Nothing. If I kept up the class schedule I had now, then I would be graduating in three years instead of four. Maybe three and a semester. My professors had been stunned at the course load that I could manage, especially in the summer time, but it was nothing to me. I was genetically engineered to adapt to any situation and complete all missions. College was easy. I should be getting ready to take the MCAT so that I could apply to medical schools, but that didn't even get me to break out of the monotony of life. It was more like, why bother since you're not going to be here much longer.  
  
Justin was taking the brunt of that. He knew it and I knew that it was bothering him. I would come over and just study or watch TV and it was more like we were acquaintances than lovers. Small talk about school and work and what was going on and that was that. We hadn't slept together since that last night and I hadn't even spent the night since then either. It wasn't that I would have refused. He just knew I wasn't interested and didn't want to push. Attrition. Simple attrition.  
  
There were a couple of things that I hadn't planned on. Maybe one of them was more forgotten then not planned and the other I simply didn't know. The first was that Justin had never been a passive person. Attrition required passivity. The second...the second was something I had no idea about until I heard it being shouted at me. And that made all the difference in the world.  
  
I was over at his apartment when he came home from his Friday classes. They were morning. I didn't have any. I had a report that was due in a couple of weeks and was working on it. I was just grateful it wasn't for Women's Studies. I was so sick of that class it wasn't funny. But to be fair, I was pretty sick of all of my classes. None of them meant anything to me, even the ones that I had liked. They no longer seemed like the gateway to my future. They seemed like a tease for a future that could never be for one of my kind. I was still doing great in them though. Mission completed as ordered, sir.  
  
Justin came home and saw me pecking on the computer, glancing over my notes and then writing a few more lines. Normally I fly through things like that, but I was rather disinterested in the lot of it.  
  
"Hey," he said brightly. It had been a few days since I had seen him at all actually.  
  
"Hey," I muttered back. I could see a ghost of his reflection in the monitor and his response to my less-than-enthusiastic response was obvious.  
  
"Genetics paper?" he asked, not touching me. That was a first. He had still been at least giving me a quick kiss on the cheek at the very least.  
  
"Yeah," I replied. I had mentioned that I had a paper to do in that class. "Just messing with it if you need the computer."  
  
"I'm good." And then he was in the kitchen getting something. I saved my paper and got my stuff together. I shouldn't have come over at all. I don't know why I did. I still felt drawn here no matter what I thought was best.  
  
"Leaving?" I heard him ask from the doorway. "You don't have to take off every time I walk into a room, you know."  
  
"I know that."  
  
There was the longest pause. I knew he was still behind me, watching me. "You're not coming back are you." It wasn't a question.  
  
I sighed. "Justin, you know..."  
  
"No I don't," he snapped, cutting me off. "I don't know anything anymore Jhondie. All I know is that you're toying with me. You don't know if you're going to stay or go. So you play here and play there and make us all wait for you. I'm tired of waiting for you to decide if you're going to start living again." He left me, open mouthed, in the room. I heard him throw his glass into the sink. It didn't register quite then, but when I thought about it later, I realized that I was shocked. More important than being shocked that he had said that to me, I *felt* shocked. I felt. For the first time in weeks, there was more than just numbness.  
  
I went into the living room. He was staring out the sliding glass doors, watching the city skyline. After two years, I guess he deserved some kind of explanation. "It's not like I stopped loving you," I said softly. No response. "But I've been forced to realize that I should have taken on my responsibilities from the start and not dump them all on Zack."  
  
"Because we all know that you're responsible for everything that they do," he said bitterly.  
  
"I should be." Why wouldn't he look at me? "I don't think I'm doing any good here anymore and maybe I can do better out there." He snorted and I rolled my eyes, anger rising in me. When had he ever had that kind of responsibility put on him? He could walk away from it whenever he wanted to in his charmed little life. What did he know of deprivation? Of pain and suffering? Watching brothers and sisters being taken away to die?  
  
"I know you can't possibly understand now, but one day you will get it and..."  
  
Justin spun around on me so fast I took a step back. I had seen him angry before, but never this pissed. For a second, I would have sworn that he was about to hit me. "I don't get it," he mocked. "How could I possibly get it? How could I possibly have any idea what forty-six hours and eleven minutes means to you?"  
  
I couldn't help flinch at that. He didn't know. I had never told him. Zack certainly would never have said a word. I knew what he was doing. It was what made him such a great investigator. He knew there was something there and was going to act like he knew. Then I would say something, let it slip, and that would give him the first chink to slip the crowbar into. He was good, I would give him that, but I knew the techniques too.  
  
He took a step towards me, his eyes drilling into mine. "You really think I don't know you, Jhondie? That I don't know what you went through? That I don't know how they strapped you to a table and did unspeakable things to you for forty-six hours and eleven minutes just to prove that eventually you would break?" I could feel every bit of blood in my body land somewhere in my feet. For a second I felt dizzy and had to grab the back of the couch to stay on my feet.  
  
"Shut up," I whispered weakly. This was all guesswork. Had to be. But oh, God, what it was doing.  
  
"Someone's got to start talking!" he shouted.  
  
I shook my head. "You're guessing."  
  
"Then how do I know that Eva was the second to break?" I couldn't say anything. I tried to, but only a tight rush of air came out. Justin smirked. "But you held on and on and on. You, my love, would not give in no matter what they did with the lasers and the needles and pliers. You wouldn't break. At the end it was you and Zack and in a moment of truly refined cruelty, they let you see each other and in the end, it was him that broke first. And when you were completely and utter alone in your agony, that's what got to you. Never them. It was knowing that you were alone."  
  
I could feel tears pouring down my face but was helpless to stop them or even lift a finger to wipe them away. "They taunted you, didn't they?" he asked cruelly. "They told you how Eva broke fast. Laughed as each one went down. Because that hurt you worse and they knew it. You had no idea why Eva went so quickly, but I will fill in some guesses on that. She knew that you and Zack were too damn stubborn and one of you had to be capable of taking care of everything when it was over. So she was taken away and you held on for hours and hours and they didn't let up for a minute. Changed shifts because they were tired and never once thought of you. They..."  
  
"YES!" I screamed. "YES! YES! YES! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?" My voice lowered, my body shaking. Words were coming out between sobs. "That was one episode in the life of a Manticore trainee. One piece of what they thought would make us better. Lydecker wanted us to know that we had to learn this lesson or we would never take one of the other things he wanted us to know seriously." Anger flashed in me. "Who told you?" I demanded. "Where did you find this out? I asked you not to dig, but you obviously did anyways, so who told you?"  
  
He moved closer so that we were almost nose-to-nose. "You did."  
  
"Don't lie to me," I said furiously. How dare he think I was that dumb to tell him and then act like I hadn't.  
  
He let out a little snort of what should have been mocking laughter and stepped away from me. "You don't like to sleep," he said almost casually. "Not that you need to, but you don't like to. There's a difference. You don't really know why. I do."  
  
He turned around, and the anger was gone, replaced with something that tore at me worse than the yelling. "You talk in your sleep. You don't remember your dreams. I've asked. When I did, you didn't notice that I was looking for something. You honestly don't remember them. But trust me, I do. I've heard things that I never thought human beings were capable of doing to other people, least of all children. You think I don't know what happened? That I can't fathom it? For almost a year now, I've been with you every step of the way. I wasn't there the first time, but I've damn sure been there while you relive it. So don't you dare tell me I don't know. It wasn't my body that went through the torture, but I have been there."  
  
He walked over to the sliding glass doors, his back to me. "Get out," he said, trying to be cold, but his voice was shaking. "If you're going to go, then just get out. Because I can't do this anymore." His forehead rested against the glass and in a flash I knew how serious he was. He wasn't going to try and stop me from walking out. If I did, then there wasn't going to be a call tomorrow. No let's talk it over. Nothing. It was just going to be over.  
  
No more frustration. No more confusion. No more anger. No more trying. No more belief. No more hope. All that pain and suffering. The escape. All that we had all gone through to stay free. All for no more. Justin was right. It was time for no more.  
  
Justin  
  
It was quiet enough that I could hear the runaway beating of my heart. I wanted to scream and break the glass and do something, say anything that would make this right. I didn't want her to go. God knew that the last thing I wanted was to have my heart ripped out and that's what was going to happen the minute I heard the door close. But I couldn't keep her if she didn't want to stay. That's what they had done to her. I would have it wrapped up in pretty words and gilded bars, but in the end making her stay if she wanted to go would be sticking her right back in a cage.  
  
I jumped about a mile when a hand gently touched my shoulder. I whipped around and Jhondie was still standing there, her face streaked with tearstains. She felt bad the day she almost broke my hand? I had never felt lower knowing that I was the cause of every one of those tears.  
  
"Justin," she murmured, a slight sob keeping her from saying more.  
  
"No," I said quickly. "Don't say anything because you feel bad or are scared or any of that. No more running and hiding and ducking, Jhondie. That's got to end." I was fighting myself to keep from grabbing her and holding her and telling her a million times that I was sorry. I was on the verge of tears myself, but I had to say it.  
  
"You can't stay here because you're scared to leave. It's got to be because you want this. Because you want us to work. That you're willing to do anything to keep it together and that you are willing to do whatever to make us work. That's what I need from you. I can't keep wondering if you're going to leave without a word the next time you have a crisis. I can't keep pretending that everything is fine when there are things you won't stop hiding. If you're willing to work this out...to hope and believe, then I'm here. But it's got to be all or nothing, right down the line."  
  
There was a long moment of silence that seemed to span eternities. Her eyes met mine. "What is hope?" she asked in such a small, quivering voice that I had I been able to move, all my resolve to not touch her would have died right there.  
  
"Baby," I said, my arms out in a shrugging gesture. "That's us."  
  
She was in my arms in a second, knocking me into the glass as she kissed me hungrily. "Oh my God," she sobbed softly between kisses. "You do understand. You do."  
  
I kissed her back just as hard, thanking God that she was still here in my arms. But she wasn't going to do this to me again and use sex to make me forget that there was still something unresolved here. It didn't matter that we were already on the floor. "No more," I managed to get out. "Promise me, Jhon. No more hiding."  
  
She stopped and our eyes met evenly, despite the fact both of us were already breathing hard. A tiny smile touched her lips. "No more," she said softly. "Just hope." Then she pulled me back down to her and any resistance was gone.  
  
I'm usually not a "drop to the ground and ravage" kind of guy. I'm really not. But let's just say this was a special circumstance. In any case, Jhondie wasn't complaining. As a matter of fact, she was being downright encouraging. So many whispers of apology, countless promises from both of us between passionate kisses. God, I was glad she didn't leave. I said I would let her go, but honestly, I don't know if I would have let her make it to the elevator. She was my life and my heart and all the time I had spent with Nikki meant very little to me compared to Jhondie.  
  
It's rather easy to lose track of time in a situation like that. I know we made love twice in the living room before ending up in the bedroom where I was comatose for a while. I woke up some time later, glad to feel her warm body still pressed against mine, soft hands caressing me. I didn't think she had slept, but she needed the comfort of simply being together. I think Jhondie was ready to talk then, but her touches were getting to me in a rather non-verbal fashion. We made love again and this time she slept in my arms. I waited for nightmares but was relieved when they didn't come.  
  
She didn't sleep for long and then we were both awake. She was the first to break the silence. "What do you want to know about it?"  
  
That was a loaded question if I had ever heard one. I knew she was would tell me whatever I asked, but I didn't want to hurt her with an interrogation. There was a lot I wanted to know, and this was going to set the standards on if she would be willing to tell me, or just grudgingly get it out. And there was the fact that I didn't want to hurt her any more than I already had today. I know, I know, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, but let me tell you; it didn't make it any less painful to do it.  
  
"Tell me about the others," I finally said. She blinked. I knew she was expecting to be asked about training or experiments. "I know why you picked Jhondie for a name. What about the others? Did you ever laugh and tease each other? Play?"  
  
"Sometimes at night," she said very softly. A tiny smile formed. "Most kids are afraid of nights and the dark. We weren't because that was our time. Max and I never slept and Ben didn't much either. He would make these great shadow puppets on the wall and cover up the signs." She giggled. "We thought it was so naughty. Even Zack would watch."  
  
I laughed, thinking of the Zack I knew enthralled with shadow puppets. "What do you think he's doing now?"  
  
She thought for a second. "Ben is either writing for horror comic books or a priest."  
  
"That's a big switch there."  
  
"He's the one that formed the whole religion around the Blue Lady," she replied. She had told me about that in bits and pieces. "And he would tell us the stories. That's where the Good Place came from and the horrors of the things in the basement. Here we are being trained to be killers and Ben manages to get us terrified of the monsters in the basement. Ben...Ben believed that everything had an order to it. There's a higher purpose and higher wisdom. He never believed that Lydecker was the ultimate authority. He wanted to look higher. He'd make a great priest."  
  
Her smile was a little nostalgic remembering the people she had been so close to. "Who had the best sense of humor?" I asked, wanting to let her remember happy memories. We had opened enough coffins for one day. Better to go for the good parts.  
  
"Zane," she answered immediately and then laughed. "Some of the things he did...I thought he was going to get us all killed. One time..."  
  
We talked for a long time. She told me a lot about the others and some of the stunts that they had pulled. For a while she got serious and I heard about the darker times. But then there were more things to follow about the others and what they were like. We talked about what they were doing and how she thought they had turned out.  
  
Finally the words seemed to die out and she was curled up around me again, with her head on my shoulder. I tentatively started rubbing my hand up and down her back and she sighed with contentment. I felt like we had turned a corner in our relationship and she was ready to be part of it forever. I thought about our anniversary that was coming up soon. Two years since the day we had met. Last year had been a rather heated argument on when exactly our anniversary was. She said Prom. I said it had to be before then because by her Prom we both knew there was something going on there that was more than friendship. Then we both realized that from the night she landed at my feet and took off running, there hadn't been another person in our lives. I could finally admit that I had been enthralled from that moment on. It had taken her a bit longer, but still, point was that was the night we met. And the second anniversary of it was coming up very soon.  
  
"I feel better," Jhondie said, startling me out of my own thoughts. She looked up at me, her expression pensive. "I wouldn't have thought that I would, but I do."  
  
I hugged her tightly. "I guess it's like a poison or something. Once you get it out of your system, you feel better."  
  
She nodded. "Poison. That's a pretty accurate description." She sighed. "I am sorry about everything. I really thought I was doing okay and then Bryn happened, and...and I guess I wasn't doing as okay as I had thought."  
  
I thought hard about how to respond to that. "I guess I would flip out too if I found out Britt was kidnapped and there was no way for me to find her and get her back."  
  
"I've been lucky. A little bad luck and it could be me."  
  
"You were lucky that you picked up a life from someone that didn't need it anymore," I reminded her. "Weren't you the one that said the best place to hide is sometimes right out in the open?"  
  
She snuggled against me. "You know it's not fair to use my words against me."  
  
I shrugged as much as I could with her weighing down my arm. "All's fair, baby, you know that."  
  
She grinned at me wickedly. "Maybe. But I can get you back for it." And then her fingers started racing across one of three ticklish spots on my body and I was laughing and trying to get her away from there while trying to tickle her back. Tickling soon changed to other things and then we were making love all over again. 


	8. Friends

Jhondie  
  
I walked into my house with something that I had just realized I hadn't had much of since I heard about Bryn. A smile. I was smiling. Of course when you consider how I had spent the afternoon and early evening, it was no wonder. But it was more than that. I really felt better about the whole situation and I had even resolved to call Zack and apologize for attacking him. It wasn't his fault. He did the best he could. There was an element of luck involved, and for the rogue X-5's, at some point luck was going to run out and Lydecker was going to catch up with one or two of us. He had one. Maybe this would be a wake-up call and if there was anyone that seriously skated the line, they would chill. I knew I was thinking that there were some things that I needed to start considering giving up. But that could still wait for a bit.  
  
I shouldn't have been smiling considering what I saw in the driveway when I pulled up. But then Justin had given me the softest, sweetest kiss I could have ever asked for and I was feeling too darn good to think about Kayla's future cellmates. In the driveway was a silver 1976 Corvette had been fully restored, inside and out. It would be an awesome car if it weren't for the license plate that read GR8 LAY. I guess it paid to advertise. Actually the car had been a gift. Katrina's drug dealer boyfriend had given it to her. Since she had taken auto shop classes when she was in juvenile detention, she had done most of the restoration work on it herself and was very proud of the car. All I knew was that when I saw it, trouble was not far behind.  
  
As a matter of fact, Kay and Trouble were in the living room, putting together these wire and bead combinations that were made into some kind of jewelry. They added feathers and some other things, one of which I was sure was human skin, and wore it to raves. It was the fashion thing to be worn at parties. The large hollow beads were also a good place to keep some meth. Mom was coming out of the kitchen and seemed rather surprised to see me. Actually, she seemed more surprised to see me in a good mood.  
  
"Have a nice day?" she asked. Like she had to. I was still grinning.  
  
"Let's see, we both actually had the same afternoon off of school with no reports or tests pressing and could just enjoy being together," I replied airily. "Was absolutely lovely."  
  
"Least someone around here got to enjoy the sunshine," Kayla muttered bitterly from the floor.  
  
Katrina nudged her with a foot. "Don't be mean," she practically purred out. "If I was her boyfriend, then she wouldn't have been outside much either." The little smile she shot me had one meaning. And I had one response. Eww. No. That was wrong. More like EWWWWWW!! I wanted a bath.  
  
The girl was actually extremely attractive. She was tall with long dark hair and gorgeous green eyes and olive skin. It was just that she oozed "trash" from every pore. The dark hair was streaked with bright red streaks and then put into dreads. It made a neat swirled look, but still, not exactly something a person that was "up and coming" would be wearing. Her ample breasts were swelling out of a tight dark blue t-shirt that had potato chips pictured over her breasts and had "Bet you can't eat just one" written in bright yellow letters. Her techno pants hung down on her hips to reveal her pierced belly button and the top of a tattoo of a devil twirling a halo on her upper left hip. She had several other piercings on her eyebrow and ears, but the crowning touch was the metallic red barbell stabbed through her tongue. She was seventeen and hanging around with a fourteen year old. No, that wasn't trouble waiting to happen.  
  
Kay clipped the last piece of wire and Kat put it around her neck. It was gold toned and the red beads matched the ruby in her eyebrow and belly rings. "This is so hot," Kat grinned. "It wouldn't take long for us to make you one and then we would match." Uh, no, that was not going to happen. If you walked in with matched jewelry like that, it meant you were together. She even thought about matching with my little sister and...  
  
"I can't," Kay snapped, cutting off my mental rant. "Still house grounded." She shot Mom a sour look. Kayla had spent the last three weeks either in her room (stereo was removed) or at school or at ballet. Mom had talked to her ballet teacher and Kayla was not allowed to socialize at all while there. She was now up to in-house privileges. Some people might think that was being lenient, letting her have friends over while still grounded. They had no idea how truly evil it was. Your friends are all talking about parties and what they were going to do for the weekend and you got to listen and know that you were going to be at home. It took punishment to a whole new level.  
  
"But that can change back to house and school only privileges at any moment," Mom spoke up sweetly. She gave me a look that clearly said she was on the verge of killing the kid and then headed upstairs with the phone in hand. She had been working on some stuff for the school to set up teacher training or something like that and lately had been on the phone more than Kayla when she wasn't grounded.  
  
"You know Jhondie," Katrina said as soon as Mom was out of hearing range, "there are lots of older people that are going to be at the party tonight. Maybe you can come and talk your Mom into letting Kayla come. You can keep an eye on her and I'm sure I can find something to keep on you." I would like to, once again, reiterate EWWW.  
  
"You know, I would," I said sweetly, "but I was planning on gouging my eyes out with a rusty spoon tonight, and well..." I paused as if pretending to weigh the options. "I am just going to have to stay here and do the thing that I would enjoy more."  
  
Kat didn't lose that little smirk that said she could change my mind about the EWWW factor, but Kay spoke up before Kat could continue. "Don't bother," Kayla said coldly. "Trust me, you don't want her kind there."  
  
That stung. Katrina thought she meant older and mature, but the self- satisfied little sneer Kayla was wearing pointed to what she was referring to. My kind. I didn't say anything. I couldn't. If I had tried to then a great deal of screaming and then crashing and breaking would have started to occur and that's just not right in front on guests. My kind. I wanted to remind myself that she was a snotty teen and that's how they acted, but it still just dug down and burned.  
  
I was still thinking of my kind when I grabbed the phone in my room and dialed Zack's number. It was still in service. Well, that was a nice surprise. I was worried that he might cut me off, but I shouldn't have been. Zack's not petty enough to do something that dramatic over a little fight. I waited for the beep, hoping that he would be able to accept what I had to say. "It's me," I said quietly. "I just wanted to apologize for what happened and to let you know that it's all okay. Anyways, if you're here and want a place to stay, then it's fine for you to crash here now if you want. See you around." I hung up and curled up on my bed, my knees to my chest. My kind. If Kayla only knew what it was like to want to have your own kind. Why did I come home tonight? I could be with the one person that made me feel like there wasn't "my kind" out there. Tears weren't coming, but it hurt all the same. No wonder I had never told her. And I was starting to think that I wasn't going to be able to live with her now that I had.  
  
Justin  
  
I hadn't gotten far from Jhondie's when my phone rang. For a second I thought it might be her asking me to pick her up and take her home with me. And if I were really lucky, she wouldn't want to be going back. I felt so much better, and it wasn't because of the sex. Well, that had helped, but being able to clear the air and get her to break out of this depression just made me feel so much more invigorated. A depressed Jhondie tended to make this circle of darkness around her that sucked the life and energy out of a room and everyone in it.  
  
"Hey," I answered, thinking that it was probably Dad. I was supposed to be going over there tomorrow night for dinner and had left a message at the house to see if there was anything I could bring.  
  
"LA." The greeting almost made me swerve into the next lane of traffic. I would recognize that voice anywhere. I had given him my cell number in case there was ever an emergency, but I hadn't expected to ever casually get a phone call from him.  
  
"Yeah, it's me," I said quickly, still a little stunned at getting a call from the boss.  
  
"I know you're busy, but I need to ask you to do something for me." If he was calling then it had to be damn important.  
  
"Not a problem," I replied. As long as it didn't interfere with me and Jhondie's anniversary or my graduation.  
  
"I need you to keep your eyes open about flights coming in from Seattle. Small, private planes that are more than likely going to different landing strips around the city. They'll be leaving the country pretty quickly. If you hear of when they are supposed to be getting to LA, then that will be very important to me as well." His usual calm demeanor when giving instructions seemed a little more pressed this time. It seemed like this was more than just a story to him. This was important.  
  
"If I know when it's coming in, then you can figure out when it's leaving there, huh?" I asked, realizing that he had no clue when these flights were traveling. Up there they might know he was on to them and were keeping things more secret. Here they might be more relaxed.  
  
"Exactly."  
  
I thought for a second about how to get that info. Dink. Best way to get to Dink on short notice. Jhondie. The man knew he had no chance in Hell with my lady, but having her around at least made him put pants on. "I'll check with some sources tonight and see what I can find," I said. "I'll let you know what I find out in the morning."  
  
"Thank you." That was a rarity. Usually knowing that we were saving the world was all the thanks that we got. This must be important to him. And then, very faint in the background, I thought I heard a door slam, and a woman's voice. I know I heard something, because immediately he added, "Peace. Out." The connection was severed.  
  
I almost laughed. Someone came home at the wrong moment. This was some heavy evidence that I had been right though. His testiness of late had something to do with a woman. I pitied the guy. I knew how much having a girlfriend that was being foul could mess a man up. I was lucky that mine was getting out of her funk. I could only wish him luck.  
  
I turned the car around and headed back to Jhondie's. I tried calling in advance, but all I got was a busy signal. Oh well. I was going to get to surprise her with this. It wasn't bad though. I'd get her to go with me to talk to Dink. And then maybe it would be really late, so she'd just spend the night rather than go home. Not a bad idea all the way around if I said so myself.  
  
Kayla's friend was still there when I pulled back into the driveway. Jhondie couldn't stand the girl. I, myself, thought Kayla and her friend's relationship was rather odd considering their age differences. When you're thirty, it's perfectly normal to have a twenty-seven year old friend. At seventeen, to have a fourteen-year-old friend that you didn't grow up with is very, very strange. I know Mrs. Harris liked Katrina more than most of the recent parade of rejects that had come through the house. Katrina was always polite to Mrs. Harris and as far as we knew was one of the few that wasn't always encouraging Kay to skip out on her groundings. Jhondie still didn't like her, but when the mom says it's okay for her to be around, there's not much you can do.  
  
Kayla answered the door when I rang the bell. She rolled her eyes, her special way of saying hello. "Don't you have a home or something?" she asked immediately.  
  
"Nope," I replied jauntily. "Lost the whole thing. Your mom said I could move in here." Her disgust was obvious, but she dutifully moved to the side so that I could come in and then went to the stairs and screamed her sister's name so loud that even I winced. I could just imagine the volumes that were reached the night she tried to sneak her boyfriend in. Jhondie yelled back that she would be down in a minute. I was by the bottom of the stairs to wait and Kayla ran into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey there," a voice greeted from the couch. I glanced over. I had never seen Katrina before and I had to admit she was a very pretty girl under the layers of dye and trashy clothes and metal. A little too pierced for my tastes though. And slightly sleazy. There was something that vaguely reminded me of Denise, although this girl seemed somewhat more mentally balanced. "I'm Kat," she added.  
  
"Hello," I replied with a casual smile. "Justin Carter." Yeah, I was getting Denise vibes off of her. What is it about me that the unusual tend to gravitate towards me?  
  
"You're Jhondie's boyfriend," she said, her smile becoming more of a leer. "No wonder she was in such a good mood when she came home."  
  
"Yeah," I said, deciding to ignore her last comment. I turned my attention back upstairs but she was staring at me intently, giving me "the look". I knew "the look" and what it meant and I had a feeling I better get out of there very quickly before anything was said in front of Jhondie.  
  
"Something wrong?" I finally asked sharply, letting my tone tell her that she didn't have a chance, so back off. She stood up and damn near struck a pose. Her pants hung down around her hips and her shirt was riding up and I realized that I was seeing more of the tattoo on her hip then I should have.  
  
"Like it?" she asked, her fingers running over the little devil with the halo. "I have another one. Want to see it?"  
  
"That's okay..." I managed to get out, but she had already lifted the right side of her shirt up. First, she wasn't wearing a bra. Second, the tattoo she had was roughly a Lara Croft type sitting on a stool. Except she was only wearing a shirt that was unbuttoned and hiking boots, and from what she appeared to be doing, let's just say it was obvious she was enjoying being alone.  
  
My jaw landed somewhere on the floor and she laughed. And that was when I heard, "What the hell is going on?" from up the stairs. Christ.  
  
Kat let out another silvery little laugh. "You have to do something with the appetizer while you're waiting for the main course to come back down," she replied with a smile that should have been a sexy little grin. It was more a little grin that was about to get pulverized when she added, "So, now that we're all back, when do we get down to exchanging bodily fluids?"  
  
My arm shot out just in time to catch Jhondie in the midsection and haul her back towards me. She hadn't moved at top speed, but it was enough to make Kat step back and put her shirt back down. "Can't kill her, got work to do tonight," I whispered urgently in her ear. She didn't try to jerk away from me, thank God.  
  
"You want to trade some body fluids?" Jhondie snarled. "I see you again, and I'm starting with your blood. All of it. And then I'll spit on what's left of you."  
  
I know her techno pants were loose, but there was no way they could hide the set of balls big enough to let her think she could get away with replying, "Well, that's not exactly what I was thinking, but hey, a little kink never hurt anyone." They weren't brass. Those puppies were platinum.  
  
"Neither of us are interested in anything that needs to be disinfected first," I said disgustedly. I knew Jhondie well enough to know that she almost laughed at that line and the way that Kat's face fell at the coldness.  
  
"Why don't you go and disease someone else's home?" Jhondie said snidely right as Kayla walked back in the room. The fury on her face said she had heard Jhondie's parting comment. I was willing to bet that she didn't hear the rest of the conversation.  
  
"Leave her alone!" Kayla commanded. "I am so sick of you trashing my friends. Even Mom likes Katrina and there's nothing you can do about it, so deal!" Kat blinked, immediately becoming the wounded victim.  
  
"It's okay, Kay baby," she said sadly. "No more tension around here than necessary, right? I'll jet. See you later." With an air of the victimized, she headed out the door. A second later we heard the car start. I wanted to give her an award of some sort. That kind of acting needs to be rewarded.  
  
Kayla glared at Jhondie. "I hate you," she said venomously. She wasn't screaming, or even raising her voice. She was just coldly hateful. "You have no idea how disgusting you are to me."  
  
Jhondie grimaced at her. "Ditto." Kayla rolled her eyes and shoved past Jhondie to run upstairs. She was upstairs and Jhondie wasn't relaxing at all.  
  
"Work to do, huh?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Maybe dangerous with guys with guns and explosions?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Got to be less tense than here."  
  
I gave her a hug. "Maybe we'll find someone with a big storage of duct tape along the way."  
  
She smiled at that. "Just don't tell Katrina."  
  
I shuddered. "With a little luck, I won't be seeing her again for a long time."  
  
Why did I say things like that? I already knew that luck and me were never best friends. 


	9. Errands

Jhondie  
  
We were in luck that Justin had some strawberries in the freezer. He had managed to score a flat of them from some guy with a greenhouse a couple of months ago and froze the majority of them for future Dink use. Dink usually cost about a pint depending on the information we wanted. It was that or I would meet him alone at Fiesta's for a couple of hours and we would have a couple of drinks and chat for a while. All things considering, telling Justin to hang out at the apartment while I took care of this was just not a good thing to even try that night.  
  
Funny thing about Dink. In the beginning, Justin didn't understand his obsession with fruit. He knew that it got information and that was what counted. About six months ago, we learned what the deal was with the guy. Justin had to have a meeting with a couple of the bankers who babysat his money and Justin saw Dink wander by. A few "innocent" questions later and Justin learned that Dink came from some serious family money. He didn't have to peddle information for money. What was money to a guy that had tons of it to blow? What he loved was his computers. He loved the thrill of the hack. He also loved fresh fruit.  
  
Getting fruit in this city was a pain in the butt, no matter how much disposable cash you had. You had to track some down, order it and then wait for it. Or you had to go to the market and fight off a hundred other people all seeking the same goal. And trust me, the open market was one of the most cutthroat places anyone can imagine. I once saw two old ladies beating each other with their purses over a bag of lemons. As I said, it's not pretty. Especially to a guy that doesn't want to leave his beloved computers for the hours it would take to acquire such things. Hence the trade. He got all of the fruit he wanted without the hassle, plus he got to do the hacking he loved so much. Strange, yes, but it beat looking for dead birds for that other contact Justin liked to use so much.  
  
We got the berries and met Dink at his place to give him what we knew and see what he could find out. As much as Justin didn't like me hanging out with Dink alone, he liked it when I accompanied him to Dink's apartment. Dink wore pants when I was there. For that, I was eternally grateful. Dink isn't an ugly guy, but he's not the type you want to see half-naked. Dink also normally liked to be called at least a day in advance when someone was going to come over. With me, I had an invitation to drop by anytime. I guess it gave him something to brag about when he was in chat rooms on the computer. He had a web camera and it irritated him that I refused to step into its sights, but I had my own reasons for not wanting my image to be broadcasted all over the Internet. I didn't know how accurate computerized aging really looked, but I didn't want to take the chance on Dink chatting with some lonely lab tech back at Manticore. A remote possibility, I know, but still anything could happen.  
  
I called Dink and told him we were on our way. I could tell he was a little disappointed when I said "we" but he perked up when I mentioned the strawberries. If there was ever a man in desperate need of a girlfriend, it was him. He was dressed when we got there and Justin explained what we were looking for. Another good thing about Dink was that he never questioned why we wanted that kind of information. He nibbled a strawberry and thought for a minute.  
  
"If they're trying to be quiet, then they're not going to be using flight plans and the usual things like that," he said casually. "But chances are that they are flying the same flight path until they get to LA."  
  
"But they are going to different airports," Justin said.  
  
Dink shook his head and sat down at the computer. "Doesn't matter," he said, tapping the keys. A minute later a map of Southern California came up. He pointed to the screen. "Small planes still use the VOR system to navigate. There're not as many VOR stations now, so they're going to have to stick with what we got. They change around once they get close enough to LA that they can visually know where they are going, but the majority of it is probably going to be a single path. I bet I can find if there's a regular hitting those stations in the same pattern. It's going to take a couple of days though. Maybe a week."  
  
Justin and I glanced at each other. We had no idea what he was talking about, but that was why he was the man with the strawberries. A week. Boss wasn't going to like that, but there were only so many ways to get things done. Some took more time than others. "Thanks a lot, Dink. We knew that if anyone could help us, it was you," I said with a smile. He blushed.  
  
"Not a problem," he replied with a smile. "And you know, if you should find out a plane is coming in for sure, let me know and I could use their transponder to track them so you'll know exactly where they landed at."  
  
I smiled wider, knowing what it was doing to the poor guy. Justin rolled his eyes, but Dink didn't notice. "You're the best." Dink's blush turned scarlet. On that note, it was time to leave.  
  
"One day he's going to notice that you do that little flirt thing just to get a little more out of him," Justin commented as soon as we got in the car and left. I noticed that he wasn't driving in the direction of my house.  
  
"He already knows," I replied. "He likes it anyways."  
  
"Yeah, but..."  
  
I couldn't help a laugh. "I think I know who doesn't like it now." I grinned. "Coming from someone that has been spending a lot of time with a certain redhead, I don't think you have room to talk. Do I have anything to be jealous over?" I teased.  
  
For just a second, Justin looked very uncomfortable. That startled me. As much as I had thought that if I stepped out, that he would probably hook up with Nikki, I didn't think anything had already happened. I know that I was encouraging it in a way with the way I had been acting, but I didn't think Justin would have been so determined to get me back if there was someone else. I hoped that uncomfortable look wasn't because she hadn't made a move on him. Justin really liked her and I would hate to have to rip her spine out.  
  
"Do you really think that oh, the third or fourth time would have happened today if you had a reason to be jealous?" he asked lightly. I had to laugh at that. God, it felt so good to laugh again. I was feeling like part of the human race again. Everything that had been in grayscale was now color. And I wasn't honestly worried about Nikki. Justin was many things, but he wasn't a cheater.  
  
"Considering the direction we're going in, I guess a fifth time to drive the point home?"  
  
He looked around exaggeratedly and pretended to look shocked. "Are we going the wrong way? Well, too late to try and turn around now, you know." He gave a mock sigh. "And to think I had plans to spend the night cybering with some hot blonde and now I got to spend it with a real live...OW!"  
  
I pulled back my fist that had just punched his upper arm. "Ow is right," I said sharply.  
  
He grinned and put his arm around me and pulled me as closer. "Jhondie, my love, would you allow me the extreme pleasure of your company this fine night?"  
  
"I think I could reschedule a few things and fit you in," I replied airily. I leaned over the armrest and let my head rest against him.  
  
"How about scheduling tomorrow as well?"  
  
"Don't push your luck, buddy," I grinned. He laughed and kissed the top of my head. I dug out his cell phone. "But I should let Mom know."  
  
I dialed the house and got through for once. I swear, that woman was going to grow a phone out of her ear with all of the time she had spent on it lately. She was worse than a teenager with a new boyfriend. And I knew she wasn't seeing anyone at the moment, so it wasn't that. She answered the phone and sounded a little annoyed at me when I said hello. "Jhondie, did you tell Katrina that she was polluting the house?" I loved being greeted like that. Always made for a pleasant start to a conversation.  
  
"After she hit on me and then hiked her shirt up to show Justin the tattoo on her chest, yeah, that was the sentiment," I replied flatly. "You should ask to see that one. It's a real beaut."  
  
Mom sighed. "You know, as my youngest would say, I am not going to go there. I thought you were going to be home tonight."  
  
"I was, but some stuff came up and I wanted to check it out." She had finally started to get a little suspicious of the weird hours and odd things that Justin and I tended to be doing together. I wasn't ready to tell her about Eyes Only. Instead I told her that I had decided to start looking for the other escapees. I wasn't sure how she felt about that, but it made sense to her. "I'm just going to spend the night with Justin."  
  
"What about tomorrow?"  
  
"School."  
  
"I know that much. Would you be able to pick Kayla up from ballet or are you going to be too busy?" Initial reaction: claim to be way too busy. Kayla and I had been alone for no more than thirty seconds at a stretch since I had busted her. And that was too long of a time for me. We would be in a car together for twenty minutes. Nothing good could come of that.  
  
"I wouldn't ask, you know that," Mom continued, "But I'm going to be working late and I can trust that you'll take her home and nowhere else. Katrina did offer though."  
  
"I can do it," I said quickly, knowing she was holding back a laugh. That was so on the verge of blackmail. Moms are evil sometimes. Pure evilness.  
  
"Thank you, honey. I owe you a big one." Damn straight she did, and I was going to call that one due when she least expected it.  
  
"But if she says that I duct taped her and tossed her in the trunk, it's all a lie, you have to believe that now." Mom laughed. We said our goodbyes and hung up.  
  
Justin laughed when I complained about what Mom had just done to me. "You know I'm going to remind you of this when we have teenagers," he commented playfully. I almost laughed, but then it hit me what he had so casually said. To have teenagers you would have to have babies. And I knew Justin. He was not going to be the every other weekend and two weeks in the summer kind of father. After all I had put him through and he was still planning on us having a life together. How did I manage along the way to go from a genetically engineered chimera to a person that could inspire that kind of love and devotion in another human being? I didn't want to question it anymore. I was tired of trying to convince myself that I wasn't good enough. It was time to accept what was and enjoy it and not try to analyze and pick things apart.  
  
We did enjoy the night together. It was sweet just to snuggle while watching TV and not sit on opposite ends of the couch. I made dinner and we were able to talk. I hadn't realized how much I had missed out on over the last few weeks. Justin was almost done writing a story that he had still been researching for a month ago. I promised myself that I would never again get caught up in self-pity and despair to the point of pushing away the person that meant the most to me in the world.  
  
I really wished I didn't have classes the next day. But unfortunately, I did. If it had been Women's Studies, I might have skipped it and convinced Justin that he didn't need to go to school either. But he did and then he had to meet Nikki to discuss an informant that she wanted to get her hands on and then he had promised to have dinner with his family that night. Looked like I was kind of stuck at home with the psycho sister. Maybe that would be a good thing. Kayla and I needed some time together. Maybe if we talked a little, we could work some of this out. Maybe I would just stay in my room and start studying for the MCAT.  
  
Kayla had started taking ballet classes late last summer. At first it was more because there was a really cute guy who was a senior student there. I think that meant he helped with the newer dancers. Whatever the reason, Mom thought it would be a good influence on Kayla. She was really starting to hang out with a bad crowd by then and this was something that wouldn't lead to probation. The boy Kayla was in lust with was hired by a dance company and moved to Italy that Fall. Much to our surprise, Kayla didn't drop out. She had started to enjoy dancing for dancing's sake, not just a hot guy in tights.  
  
I had only seen Kayla doing dance steps in the living room and she seemed to be doing pretty well. That's what Mom said at least. Kayla didn't really have the body to be a professional dancer, but she was talented. Most dancers are very long and lean. Kayla had the most adorable blue eyes and long blonde hair, but she was always going to be short and curvy. She wasn't fat, but at fourteen she already was wearing the same size bra as me and the rest of her body was contoured to match. She had always been a little irritated that I could eat anything I wanted (and in large quantities) and she had to watch her weight. That was another thing she liked about dancing. It had helped tone her up and keep extra pounds off. I wasn't surprised that older boys were so interested in her. My little sister was blossoming into a beautiful young woman.  
  
I went to the studio and went inside. According to Mom, she had talked to Miss Genevieve, Kayla's dance teacher and Kayla wasn't going to be outside, hanging out with friends like she usually was when I picked her up. When Mom grounded you, she made sure all bases were covered. I was the one with evasion training and I had a hard time getting around my mother.  
  
Classes appeared to be over for the day. There were a couple of older girls that were still in leotards, stretching against the bar on the wall. They looked like they were doing cool down routines. Two other girls walked out from the back in street clothes, but their hair was pulled up in a bun. The place was so polished looking. I couldn't believe that it could survive in an economy like this one, but I guess there were enough regulars to keep her in business.  
  
"May I help you?" a voice asked from behind me. I turned quickly, a little surprised when there wasn't anyone there. Then I realized that I was looking at my eyelevel. The person speaking to me was in a wheelchair. She was a rather pretty woman, maybe in her early thirties and she was in leotards.  
  
"I'm, um, looking for Kayla Harris," I said.  
  
"And you are?" Her expression was pleasant enough, but there was a hint of steel under there.  
  
"Her sister, Jhondie. I'm supposed to pick her up today."  
  
Now the pleasant expression came on for real. "I'm Miss Genevieve," she introduced. "Kayla is getting changed right now. She'll be out in just a few minutes."  
  
I know I looked like an idiot for a minute. Nobody had ever mentioned to me that Kayla's dance instructor was in a wheelchair. I guess Miss Genevieve was used to the initial shock when someone met her like this. She smiled a little wider. "You know, one good thing about being in a wheelchair is that nobody asks why I retired at such a young age," she said teasingly. "I was in a car accident about five years ago."  
  
That broke the ice. I laughed. "I'm sorry," I said, "Kayla just never mentioned it before." Neither had my mother. I was so going to kill her for embarrassing me like that.  
  
Miss. Genevieve kept her lovely smile. "That makes me feel better actually. It means they don't even notice." She looked at me up and down. "Have you ever danced before?"  
  
I shook my head. "No. Never was really into it. But now that I've seen some of what Kayla's done, I kind of wish I had asked." That wasn't really true. I would have liked to have been in dance classes when I was a kid, but there was no way I could wear my hair up all of the time.  
  
She sighed sadly. "That is too bad. I saw you walk in. You obviously have a very natural sense of grace and balance. You know, it's never too late."  
  
Natural grace. She had no idea. I pretended to be a little embarrassed. "It is for me. Medicine got to me first." I was starting to realize why Mom and Kay had never mentioned that Miss Genevieve was handicapped. She was so animated and alive that it was hard to think that she was stuck in that chair. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn that she was just resting for a moment.  
  
"Science," she gasped melodramatically, the back of her hand going to her forehead. "The bane of the art world." Now I really wished I could take instructions under this woman. No wonder Kayla loved coming here so much. "So," she continued in a normal tone, "have you seen much dance? What's your favorite?"  
  
"I haven't seen any real ballets," I replied. "But there was this one thing that Kayla was doing that I thought was amazing. She was kind of..." I wasn't sure how to describe it, so I just did it. I wasn't wearing ballet slippers so I couldn't stand on my toes, but I went up on the ball of my foot and extended one leg out behind me so that it was at a ninety degree angle to my body and then raised it up higher while keeping my back straight, shoulders square and arms out. I dropped back down to normal. "Kind of like that." That was when I realized she was practically gaping at me.  
  
"You've never taken formal training?" she asked suspiciously. I shook my head. She still looked disbelievingly. "You never had training and you have the sheer strength not to mention the balance and limberness to do an arabesque?"  
  
I blinked. I didn't think it was that hard to do. "I, um, I still work out a lot. My boyfriend is really into getting all buff and doctors have to have high endurance and all that you know." God, that sounded lame even to me.  
  
"But..."  
  
"But Jhondie's perfect, so she can do anything," Kayla snapped from behind us. From the way that Miss Genevieve looked at her, I was willing to bet that she had heard quite a bit lately about how Mom thought I was so wonderful and Kayla was being so mistreated. Oh, poor baby. Kayla adjusted the bag on her shoulder and glared at me some more. What had I done this time?  
  
"Get in the car," I said tiredly. I smiled at Miss Genevieve. "Good evening. Hope to see you again soon."  
  
She gave me a small smile back, still trying to figure out how I had pulled off that move. Damn it. I did not like making such careless mistakes. I left quickly and got into the car. Kayla had her arms crossed and was staring straight ahead. We drove for a while until I couldn't take the tension anymore.  
  
"What?" I snapped.  
  
Her blue eyes shot twin fire at me. "Do you have to show me up at *everything*? It's like you the only thing you live for."  
  
"Well now you know my goal in life," I said sarcastically. "Even way back at Manticore that was the goal. Lydecker said every day that we were there to show up Kayla Susan Harris. It was the unit motto even."  
  
"I spend months learning how to do things and you just look at a picture and can do it," she said bitterly. I heard the tears that she was determined to keep back. It softened my anger a little. I guess it would be hard to have an older sister that you thought you could never live up to. I never intentionally tried to be better than her. I couldn't help what I was. But I was also older and a lot more mature. I could see things that Kayla couldn't yet.  
  
We got home and she immediately headed to the stairs. And then I realized what I wanted to say. "Kayla," I called out.  
  
She stopped and turned, her lips pressed together tightly. "What?"  
  
"I can't help being better physically. That's never going to change. I was made to be better than any human being could ever hope to be. But if you want to do something that I can't, then put your hair in a ponytail and go outside." She blinked and I realized that had gotten to her in some small way. I shrugged. "You have freedom, Kay. That's one thing I'll never have."  
  
I left her on the stairs and went inside to start dinner. Mom was going to be hungry when she got home. I was tired of the fighting and arguing going on all the time here. I hoped Kayla would see that I was trying to make peace. I wanted her to accept me for who and what I was and then we could be a family again. I loved the little brat despite herself.  
  
I wanted to call Justin just to say hi and, well, it was good to simply hear his voice. I know, we had spent all night and morning together, but I wished that I were making dinner for us in our apartment. Our anniversary was coming up in a matter of days. I hadn't been in a mood to plan anything special for that day, but it was time to talk about it. It wasn't going to be a night for big decisions though. There were enough changes that were on the verge of happening and I didn't want to make more complications by telling him that I wanted us to move in together. After the way I had acted over the last few weeks, I knew Justin would probably want to slow things down a little and make sure that he was willing to risk living with someone as unstable as I could get. I wasn't upset at that thought. I mean, I was, but I had brought it all on myself. I was going to have to deal with the consequences of being stupid.  
  
I knew he was going to have dinner with his family that night. Maybe I would give him a call later that night. Or maybe he could come home to a nice little surprise waiting for him. No matter what, I was simply glad to have him stick with me. No matter how long it took to get back to where we had been a month ago, I was willing to stick it out and make it work. And maybe that was the most important thing of all. 


	10. Final Answer

Justin  
  
"It's so big," Nikki breathed.  
  
"Too big?" I asked, a little worried.  
  
"Not at all," she said with a wistful sigh. "It's absolutely gorgeous." She shot me a mischievous smile. "Can I touch it?"  
  
I laughed. "Why do you ask every time?"  
  
She shrugged playfully. "It seems like the polite thing to do since it's never going to really belong to me." Her tone got serious. "You know this has got to stop, right? You can't keep torturing me, and you, and most of all, Jhondie, even if she doesn't know it." She sighed. "I know that the two of you have had some problems lately, and I don't know if this is helping you get over them or making things worse."  
  
"I know," I replied, losing the humor as well. I looked at her firmly, our eyes meeting. "And that is why this is officially the last time."  
  
Her light blue eyes widened. "Are you serious?"  
  
I nodded. "Very."  
  
"And not as a band-aid?"  
  
"Because I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her."  
  
Nikki's expression became excited as I looked over to my left and summoned the clerk over to us. He came over with a rather expectant smile. "The lady was able to help?" he asked congenially. He should. I had been here twice before and not able to make up my mind. He was hoping that I would go away and leave him alone. I had dragged Nikki all over the city half a dozen times. The offer of food and story contacts was no longer appealing to her. It was decision time.  
  
"This one," I said, lifting the ring off of the velvet blanket it was laying on. Out of all of the rings we had looked at, I could most easily see myself offering this one to Jhondie while I was on one knee asking her the most important question I would ever ask in my life. It had struck Nikki as well. As a matter of fact, when we came in the little shop an hour ago, there was a man looking at it and she flirted with him until he took a step away from the counter and gave me time to dive in there. Nikki could be a pain sometimes, but there were other times that I truly loved the girl.  
  
The ring was actually an antique from the late 1800's. I couldn't complain despite the outrageous price. The craftsmanship was incredible. It still looked new. The two-carat center diamond was of an unusual cut that shot a prism of fire under the lights of the display case, but it was the emeralds that set the ring apart. They were tiny, their shape mimicking the diamond and inset into the gold band all the way around. The band had been polished smooth so that the stones wouldn't scratch the skin. It was so perfectly Jhondie that I wondered why I had a hard time deciding earlier. Maybe it was because I had been feeling uncertain before, but now I wasn't. This was the ring and she was the woman.  
  
I was glad that Nikki had agreed to come with me. It was good to have the confirmation from a woman that I was making a good choice. I liked the ring, but women are strange creatures. What a man would thing was ugly would have a thousand women practically swooning over. Some of the latest movie stars were proof enough of that. I wasn't sure why piercings and obscene tattoos did it for some women, but I preferred sticking with a more classical look. This ring was proof of that. It was elegant and sophisticated but very unique. Much like my Jhondie.  
  
"So, does she have any idea?" Nikki asked, starting to get excited now that the clerk was actually running my debit card with the bank.  
  
"Not a clue," I grinned. "I told her I wanted to do something special for our anniversary, but I think she's thinking maybe a little weekend getaway somewhere."  
  
"That wouldn't be a bad idea to go along with it," Nikki commented. "Maybe somewhere you've never been before, like New Orleans or to the east coast, somewhere like New York."  
  
I shrugged. "She's not in the mood to travel right now," I replied. Jhondie also didn't like to fly. There was too much security around airports. Too many guys in uniform and the last thing Jhondie needed to deal with right now was the Army searching her luggage and asking what Tryptophan was for. "Besides, I promised Nana that I would bring Jhondie to Mexico this summer so she could meet the rest of the family. It would look a little weird if I wanted to take another vacation right before that."  
  
"True," Nikki said. "I guess it really doesn't matter where you do it so long as you finally propose to the girl."  
  
I laughed at that. It wasn't that Nikki was eager to see me married to Jhondie. It was more that I had been driving her nuts lately. Before everything with Bryn had happened, I had thought about asking when we went to Mexico. That would have been rather stylish. Sunrise over the Gulf of Mexico. But then I realized that Jhondie needed something to let her know she was wanted and needed here, and she needed it soon. I had been looking around, not really thinking about specifics, but then I got serious.  
  
Nikki was just ready for me to pick something. The last time we had gone out, she flat out said that the reason I couldn't find anything was because I wasn't ready to ask. That pissed me off, but she was right. I was desperately trying to find something to make Jhondie forget about her problems rather than helping her deal with them. Two days later I blew up at Jhondie. And for some reason, today it was very easy to see that this was the ring I wanted to offer to her when I proposed.  
  
Earlier today Nikki had almost called security and had me thrown out when I showed up at her office. Well, more like her cubicle, but she was proud that she was working at an established paper, unlike most of the people she had graduated with. Still, point being, she knew why I was there. She ordered me out of the building because she had a lot of work to do and I was not going to get her out of there no matter what I had to offer. Fifteen minutes of begging later, she had the phone in hand and was about to dial security when I pulled a card out of my pocket.  
  
She saw the name on it and froze, almost salivating. She knew about Dink. She knew what he was capable of. She never thought I would ever give up my best contact. "You want me that bad?" she asked hesitantly, her eyes not leaving the card. My finger was covering the number on it. From the look in her eyes, anyone passing by would assume I was about to take her to the nearest hotel.  
  
"I'll even give you a personal introduction," I offered. I wasn't sure, but I think she had to wipe some drool off of her chin.  
  
She hung up the phone. "This is going to be the last time Justin."  
  
"I know," I replied with a grin. She had said that the last three times. "Remember that antique jewelry store we look at?" She nodded slowly. "There was one there that I really liked. Actually a couple, but one that really stood out. I want to get a woman's opinion on it before I buy."  
  
"I swear to God that if you don't buy something today, I am going to make sure you never procreate," she said firmly, getting up and grabbing her purse. Nikki didn't have to worry about her boss getting mad at her for taking off for a couple of hours. The girl worked at least eighty hours a week. This was just a late lunch break for her. She would be back as soon as we were done and here till midnight probably.  
  
The clerk came back with the ring and my card. I'm not saying this place had some good jewels or anything, but for a nominal fee they had a bodyguard service that would escort you home if you wanted. I politely declined the offer and we left. I had a feeling some accountant was going to have a stroke when he saw this deduction from whatever accounts my liquid trust money was in. Let him. This was worth more than money to me.  
  
I dropped Nikki back off at work and swore to her that she would get all of the details of our anniversary. I almost went over to Jhondie's and took care of matters right then and there. The longer I had the ring, the more I was going to think about things and overanalyze and make a mess of it. No. I would wait. I would write the perfect words and memorize them and make sure the night was going to be perfect. We hadn't had many perfect moments in our lives, and I was determined that this was going to be the one thing that was totally traditional with the flowers and the romance and the one knee thing.  
  
But I had promised Dad that I would be over for dinner that night. I think he suspected I was planning on asking pretty soon, but he didn't know if it was going to be now or in Mexico or maybe when Jhondie graduated. I was ready to make it official now. At least I thought I was. Pretty sure I was. No, I was positive. How is it that I could be so sure that this was the right thing to do, but so terrified to do it at the same time?  
  
Britt was setting the table when I got to the house. Bryan was in the family room playing a very loud and obnoxious video game. The characters were speaking with Asian accents and trying to remove each other's spines. Good wholesome family activity. Maybe later we could play teams and see who could disembowel the other first. That's bonding.  
  
"DAD!" Britt yelled as soon as she saw me. I winced. What was it about young girls that made them able to get so much volume? "Your long lost son is here!" she shouted towards the direction of the kitchen. Okay, so I hadn't been around much lately. I had been kind of busy. In a way I was working two jobs and finishing my degree. That's a lot for anyone.  
  
"Nice to see you too," I said lightly.  
  
Britt grinned hugely. "I had to get a bigger bra!" she announced giddily. I blinked and then left the room immediately. Maybe it was the fact she didn't really grow up with a woman around that made her so casual about certain things, but I didn't want to hear about it. I thought for a minute about Kayla. Dear God, Britt was going to be at that stage all too soon and then I was going to have to be the one killing the boyfriends. Good times for all.  
  
I went into the kitchen where Dad was finishing up dinner. He let out a little laugh. "Brittany told you her good news?"  
  
I snagged a piece of bell pepper off of the salad and munched on it before Dad could stop me. "Does she realize that there is such a thing as too much information?"  
  
"I'm not sure. She wanted to call Jhondie and tell her right away." I groaned. Then I would have heard half of the conversation and that would have been just too much to take in and keep my sanity.  
  
"Whatever kept you from preventing that, I thank it with all my heart," I said. Dad was amused. "Because if I had been thinking about that, I don't think I could have gotten this." Dad glanced over at me, his eyebrow raised in question. His eyes widened when he saw the box I pulled out of my pocket.  
  
"What do you think?" I asked softly, opening it.  
  
He took the ring and looked at it carefully before giving a low whistle. "Well, son, it's nice, but it's really not my style. Kind of small too. But it's the thought that counts, right?"  
  
"Dad!" I groaned, rolling my eyes. He laughed.  
  
"It's beautiful. I think I know a young lady that's going to be thrilled with it." He looked at me very seriously. "You're sure about this? This isn't a way to patch up the problems you've been having, you know. It just delays them for a while."  
  
I took the ring back and put it in the box. "I bought this because we worked out a lot of the things that were wrong," I replied. He knew that there were things going on, but he didn't know the specifics. I had told him we had stuff that we had to deal with, and he accepted that there were some things that needed to stay inside a relationship. I think he thought Jhondie was having a problem with Nikki and I having a relationship. If Jhondie had a problem with Nikki, then she would have dealt with Nikki in a much more direct and painful manner.  
  
"As for being sure," I continued, "I think I am. No, I mean, I am, it's just..." I sighed and tried to start again. "It's...I don't know how I can be so positive about something and still so terrified at the same time, you know?" Dad smiled, and I knew he understood. "Jhondie is my future. I know that. I think it was obvious to everyone from the time we met. But this..."  
  
"This makes it real," Dad finished for me. I nodded, glad that he got what I was trying to say. "I felt the same way when I proposed to your mother. It's a big step." He paused and then said cautiously, "You know, I've heard it said more than once that the best way to ruin a good relationship is to get married."  
  
I smiled, knowing what he was doing. "Maybe for some people. But...for us, this is right." I nodded. "Yeah. I'm more than sure."  
  
Dad smiled and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Jhondie Carter. It's got a nice ring to it." He laughed. "Now, Grandpa sounds pretty good too, but I think I let you go a couple of years on that."  
  
I might have turned pale. "I think I need time to get used to her having my last name before we bring in more Carters into the world," I said quickly.  
  
Dad was amused. I was not. I wanted kids, but that was more of a "one day" thing. Far in the future. "When are you going to do it?" he asked.  
  
"On our anniversary I'm going to take her to where we met," I said. I had been thinking about this for a while. "I'm going to make it seem like I need to do something for the boss and when we go back there have it all decked out with candles and flowers and I don't know, music or something. And if she doesn't kill me, then I'll do it."  
  
He nodded. "Good plan."  
  
The phone rang then and I picked it up. "You'll never believe what happened!" Jhondie exclaimed. 


	11. Taking Off

Jhondie  
  
"I just don't think this is a good idea," Mom said.  
  
"Tough," I replied casually. "You're going. You have worked so hard lately. You deserve this." I had called Justin and told him the good news and now it was time to get Mom packed.  
  
Kayla came out of Mom's closet with some blouses and skirts. "No kidding, Mom," she said. For once she and I were in complete agreement. "You're the one that's done all the work, and they were going to get all the credit. Now you'll be the one to get the credit for it. That totally rocks."  
  
"Not that either of us thinks it's cool that the man's mother died," I added quickly, Kayla nodding in agreement, "but now he's not going to be up there giving a quick mention of the help his staff gave in doing all of this research and work putting it together. You're the one that's going to be giving the presentation and that's what counts."  
  
Mom had spent the last six months doing a lot of work concerning training of teachers and getting an educational system that would help produce people that could help get this country out of the depression it was in. The better educated they were, the better chances it was that they would be able to get good jobs and help rebuild the economy one person at a time. It was really lofty and grand idealistically, but the point was that there were some excellent ideas coming from it. Mom's research had shown how some reforms could make a big difference.  
  
I'm not saying that what she had done was awesome or anything, but a presentation was being made to the governor of the state of California. Apparently a friend of his was on the school board here and had mentioned it to him and he wanted to know more. It also helped that four months ago Eyes Only proved that education dollars had been spent on purposes that taxpayers didn't exactly appreciate. The education commissioner that spent a week in Aspen with his mistress got fired, but with elections coming up next year, the governor was determined to show he was committed to education.  
  
The bad side was that the principal of Mom's school was a total jerk. He decided that despite the fact that Mom did all of the work, he was the one that was going to do the presentation to the governor. Jerk. When Mom first started all this, he pestered her to death and told her it was a waste of time. It wasn't until the hack that he left her alone. She was rather glad for the coincidence that Eyes Only got interested in education all of a sudden. When she told me that I had to leave the room and laughed myself silly.  
  
In any case, an hour ago the vice-principal called. He was supposed to be going with Principal Walsh. And I should say that was pissing me off all the more that the vice-principal was going and not Mom at all. But, Walsh's mother died not an hour before then. Walsh was the executor of the will and from the speed at which he went upstate; I was willing to bet there was a pretty good chunk of change involved. Mother must have been loaded up with insurance or something. Anyways, the vice-principal had been going along as window dressing. He had no clue about any of this. He wanted to know if Mom would be willing to do the presentation. He made it seem like he was doing her a big favor and allowing her to do it since he had a cold and wouldn't make as good of an impression as she would. Whatever. He was idiot and Mom was going, and that was final.  
  
"I think Ed tried to reschedule the meeting," Mom admitted. "But Governor Westmore was too busy to do it next week."  
  
"See," I declared. "This is just proof that you are the person that God wants to give the presentation. I mean killing off someone's mother is pretty drastic, but it got the point across."  
  
"Jhondie!" Mom chastised, but she was smiling too.  
  
"Well, you know," Kayla said, sounding like she was nervous about something, her eyes shifting guiltily, "she's absolutely right. It was an act of God. Not at all like Jhondie whacked the old lady while I drove the getaway car."  
  
I blinked. Holy mother of God. Kayla actually made a joke. And not a nasty little comment about me either. It was an honest to God joke. And a funny one at that. Even Mom looked stunned. I grinned. "She knows that wouldn't have happened," I said placatingly. Pause for a beat and I glanced at Mom. "She's too young to drive so I told her what to do and then I had to drive the getaway car."  
  
All three of us laughed. It felt so good to be able to act like a family. Mom sighed. "I'm more worried about you two. In the last month you haven't been able to be in the same room for more than five minutes without an argument."  
  
"We've been in here for more than five minutes," I pointed out.  
  
"Exactly," Kayla agreed. She grinned mischievously. "My sister's a bitch. I can live with that."  
  
"So is mine!" I practically squealed. I looked at Mom. "See, we have so much in common; how can we spend the whole time fighting?"  
  
Kayla looked at me smugly. "I would take offense at that, but I know you have more than one sister, so you must have been referring to one of them. I'm far to sweet and delicate to be described as such a thing." All three of us laughed again. Kayla had talked to Irene earlier this week and Irene had described Kay as such. Since Kayla now knew that I wasn't her real sister, Irene totally understood why she was acting out. She offered to let Kay come and stay with her for a while and then maybe Mom would realize that the child she gave birth to was far more important than the child whose own mother didn't want her. Kayla contemplated that offer for all of five seconds. Being grounded in LA was far worse than being free under Irene's roof in Atlanta.  
  
Mom was wavering. I knew how much she wanted to go. This was her moment to shine. She had totally sacrificed a career when she was younger because of her kids. She had been a teacher when her and Dad first got married and had been taking classes to become a guidance counselor. She had wanted to stay in school full time and get her master's in psychology, but she got pregnant with Katherine at the beginning of her last semester in college and since Dad was in medical school, she started teaching. Later, she started to go back to school to be a guidance counselor, but she was about three classes from that when Katherine developed leukemia. She quit working and everything to take care of her daughter and then they moved to Las Vegas. Mom finished school there and then the Pulse hit and the whole educational system was thrown into major disarray. Mom home-schooled for the neighborhood kids, and it wasn't until long after we moved to LA that she got back into what she loved to do. Now it was time for her to get some rewards for all of that time and sacrifice, and she was going to get it whether she wanted too or not.  
  
"You know you're going to have to be home all night," she warned me.  
  
Kayla blew out a little breath of air in annoyance. "I'm not an infant, you know," she said. "And I swear I will not have anyone over at all if that will make you go. Not even Katrina!" I think Kayla was being serious about that. We both knew how much Mom had put into this. She deserved it.  
  
"It's not you inviting someone over so much as someone uninvited showing up," I said quickly before Mom could get upset with Kayla for being a brat and decide that she shouldn't go. "It would really suck for you to be alone if some murderer or rapist broke in."  
  
Kayla looked slightly pouty. "But you got left home alone before."  
  
"I can dodge bullets," I replied dryly. "I don't think some punk with eyes on the TV set is going to be much of a challenge."  
  
Mom had been folding some clothes and packing them into her suitcase. She paused and looked at me oddly. "And how exactly do you know that you can dodge bullets?"  
  
One response at a moment like that. D'OH! I knew I had told Mr. Carter that I would tell her about Eyes Only soon, but I figured that in another year or so I would be in medical school and too busy for that so why worry her needlessly. In other words, I was far to frightened of my mother to let her know what I was doing in my spare time. Think fast.  
  
"The usual way," I answered. "Someone started shooting and I learned I could duck." She wasn't buying it. Or she knew there was more to it. "It was a Manticore thing," I said vaguely. It was. If it weren't for Manticore I wouldn't have the ability to do it.  
  
"If they were spending all that money and time to get you all soldier-girl, why were they trying to shoot you?" Kayla asked. I had never noticed it before, but her expression of suspicious disbelief was exactly like Mom's.  
  
"Well, at the time, they would rather have a body count than escapees," I replied honestly. I had done some bullet dodging that night, so it wasn't a total lie. "And trust me, it's one of those skills that once you learn, you don't forget."  
  
That kind of marred the good humor in the room for a minute. It was difficult to go from being with Justin where I could mention Manticore and not have it get all tense, to here where it upset people to say the word. Mom finally broke the silence.  
  
"Okay, I just want you two to swear to me on everything you hold dear that there will be no fighting or trying to kill each other or anything of that nature," she said.  
  
I looked at Kayla. "First one to break the truce gets buried in an unmarked grave?"  
  
"Deal!" she declared with a curt nod.  
  
Mom looked at the both of us, trying not to laugh. "And how many of your problems are going to be solved with an unmarked grave?"  
  
I pretended to think for a minute. "Most of life's little problems can be solved with either an unmarked grave or a direct application of explosives. But I'll wait until you get back before I go for the boom." We all laughed again and I was glad that the tension had dissipated.  
  
Needless to say, Mom decided to go. Decided, was pressured relentlessly into it, the point was the same. The next morning we dropped Kayla off at school and then I took her to the train station where she met up with Clark Norton, the vice-principal of the school. Mom didn't notice him check out her butt. I did. I was not pleased. And if made a move on her while they were gone, I swore he was going to be eating through a tube for a very long time to come.  
  
I had school that day. Unfortunately, traffic was light so I didn't miss Women's Studies. My professor would have preferred that I missed the class that day. We were debating about domestic violence and the women that kill their abusive mates. The general consensus of the class was that Battered Women's Syndrome was an acceptable excuse. Of course I had to perk up and say that if something is worth killing for, then it's worth dying for. If freedom meant that much to a person, then they should be willing to risk themselves for it. Anything else is just revenge. My professor gasped and said I obviously had no idea what I was talking about and began quoting some book at me. I smiled and asked her if she had an original idea on the subject or were all of her ideas based on what someone else thought. I was hoping to get thrown out of class again, but no such luck. She just ignored me for the next twenty minutes and then I got to go to my molecular biology class. Much more interesting class. And far more useful for my future as well.  
  
I got home in time to pick Kayla up and take her to ballet. She had class there from three to five and then she was going over to a friend's house to study for a test. This was one of the few of her "old" friends that she still had anything to do with. I figured it was mostly because Becky was the reason Kayla was passing her classes more than Kayla really wanted to be friends with her. Becky's mother swore that she was going to be home all night and there was no need to worry. The girls were really going to be there to study and they were not going to be going anywhere else. Anna, Becky's mother, and Mom had been friends for a long time and I knew the woman well enough to know that she wasn't one of those kinds of parents that let their kid run wild and would lie to another parent about what she was going to let the kids do. I gave Anna Justin's cell number and told her to call me when Kayla was ready to be picked up.  
  
Letting Kayla study with a friend worked out really well for me because Justin and I had some recon work to do. Justin had talked to Eyes Only and it turned out that the planes we were supposed to keep an eye out for were going to be shipping blood. Air Dracula or something. But it meant that the airports being used were going to have to have some kind of refrigeration on site because it was always possible that the plane might not be able to leave the same night it arrived. We were going to check out the airports in the area that were technically abandoned. Dink hadn't come up with anything yet, but if we knew where the planes were landing, we could stake it out and let the boss know when the flights were arriving.  
  
I admit it was a little annoying knowing that I wasn't going to be able to go home with Justin that night, but I could deal with it. Kayla and I had made a deal that nobody was allowed over and that included Justin. I could have argued that Justin was different but then she would have said her boyfriend was different too and that would have led into one huge nasty circle. It was just for a couple of days anyways.  
  
It was almost eight when Justin's phone rang. We had checked two airports and come up with nothing. There were two more possibilities, one being a very small airstrip on the outskirts of the city, but those were going to have to wait for another day. I was thinking that if Kayla hadn't eaten with her friend, then the three of us could have a late dinner together and then I could get to some homework that I needed to take care of. I was thinking that Mom was going to be pleased on how ordered everything went while she was gone. That warm fuzzy ended the minute I said hello and heard Anna's voice.  
  
"Jhondie," she said, her voice shaking.  
  
"What happened?" I asked quickly, Justin glancing over at me in question at the worry in my tone.  
  
"Kayla," she said. "She...she...I just don't know how to say this."  
  
"Say what!" I almost shouted into the phone, my heart slamming in my chest. I barely registered the fact Justin had changed direction and was accelerating towards Anna's. "What happened to my sister?"  
  
"I don't know what happened," Anna said sadly. "She snuck out." 


	12. Search

Justin  
  
Anna was glad that I was there with Jhondie. And we weren't doing a good cop bad cop routine on Becky either. Jhondie was in the mood to hurt someone and Becky seemed as likely as an accomplice as anyone. I could not believe Kayla's audacity. I had done some pretty stupid things when I was a kid. I'll be the first to admit that there were a few stunts that would have landed me in jail had they ever been found out about. But I never was so blatant about it. Christ. If you're going to be bad, then at least try to be sneaky. Blatant doesn't look defiant and bold. It looks dumb.  
  
Anna had her daughter in the living room when we pulled up. Becky was so obviously terrified that at first I thought she had to have been helping Kayla and had gotten caught. We learned later that her mother had just told her that if she was turning into a trashy little hooligan like Kayla, she was going to a reform school. I was so glad Jhondie didn't hear her sister described as such. She might have agreed with it. She might have ripped Anna's head off. Literally.  
  
Our conversation on the way over there had been rather limited. It was mostly Jhondie muttering that she couldn't believe Kayla did this or that she was going to kill the kid. I nodded a lot. It seemed like the best course of action to take. I already knew I was going to have to save most of my ability to calm Jhondie down for when we got our hands on Kayla. The girl had no idea how much mortal danger she was in. I almost hoped that something happened to her while she was gone. That seemed like the only thing that might keep Jhondie from throttling her sister when she saw her again.  
  
Becky was sitting in a chair in the middle of the living room, looking around at all of us like we were going to start slapping her around in a second and demanding that she come clean. It was like a set-up in a bad cop movie. But it was just making her more scared and unable to talk. Time for some proper interrogation.  
  
I sat down beside her so that we were on eye-level. "Becky," I said gently. "We all know that this isn't your fault."  
  
"I didn't do anything!" she protested again, on the verge of hysterical tears. "I told you what happened! I left my room for like ten minutes to call Erica and when I got back, she was gone!"  
  
"And that phone call Kayla got right before then?" her mother snapped. Obviously the woman was not skilled at getting information out of someone.  
  
"It doesn't matter if she planned the whole thing," I said quickly to Anna. "It wouldn't matter if she found the party, got Kayla the ride and set up all of the plans. Kayla is the one that chose to sneak out. She's the responsible one for this whole mess. Becky is not responsible for Kayla's actions." Becky gave me such a look of gratitude it wasn't funny. Jhondie had to turn away for a second to hide the smirk. She knew what I was doing.  
  
I looked back at Becky. "When Kayla received the phone call here, what was it about?"  
  
She shrugged and looked down. "She wouldn't say. Just that it was a friend."  
  
"Becky," I said, letting the slightest warning tone creep into my voice. She looked back up at me. "Kayla is the one in trouble, remember? It's not your fault you couldn't figure out what she was up to, okay? Now I know she's suddenly got all these older friends and this older hot boyfriend and she's got to seem so cool to you now. You can't sit there and tell me you didn't at least listen to what she was saying on the phone."  
  
"She didn't say anything about where she was going," Becky muttered miserably. She sniffed. "She said twice that she couldn't because she promised and then listened for a while and got really upset. And then she said something about that it was okay but she needed a bag. And that was all. She mostly just listened."  
  
"That makes sense. And how long after that did you go to call Erica?" I asked, my voice soothing once more now that she was talking.  
  
"Maybe twenty minutes. I wasn't really keeping track. I didn't think I needed to." Her words began to speed up. "There was a problem that we couldn't figure out," she explained. "I can show it to you! It's really hard and Mr. Frick said that there would be one like it on the test next week." I nodded, showing that I believed her and she continued. "Anyways, I knew Erica had solved one like it. Kayla asked me to call her since me and Erica are still friends and them two aren't really anymore and ask her how she solved it."  
  
"Kayla asked you to call?" Jhondie piped up. Becky looked at her fearfully, waiting for the assault, but Jhondie was keeping control of her expression. She looked more curious than angry. She had learned a few things about questioning people over the years too.  
  
"Yeah," Becky replied. "And I was only on the phone for a little bit. I swear I didn't know. You can call Erica and ask her. We talked about the problem and then I went back in my room and the window was open and Kayla was gone."  
  
"She must have set this up as soon as she knew Mom was leaving," Jhondie muttered angrily. She sighed and sat down heavily on the couch, looking at Becky. "This really isn't your fault," she said. Becky looked like she felt better knowing that two of the adults in the room believed her. "I know what happened. Her and Katrina set this up and used you as an alibi since they knew I wouldn't have a problem with her coming over here. Katrina called to say she was ready and then Kayla sent you out of the room and took off." Her hand slammed the armrest of the couch lightly.  
  
I had to admit that if I wasn't so pissed at Kayla for doing it, I would have been impressed with the setup. They had planned this well. Beyond well, really. The only thing that didn't make sense was Kayla being upset on the phone. That could have been an act, but it didn't work with the setup. The proper thing to do would be to act like it was Jhondie or even better, just having the time prearranged and not bothering with a call at all. Maybe they hadn't carried their plans all the way out. Or maybe Kayla was upset because she thought that Katrina would go to the party without her. That was the most likely suspect.  
  
"Do you want to call the police?" Anna asked. She probably didn't notice, but Jhondie tensed slightly. Jhondie had issues with bringing people like that into her life intentionally.  
  
"No," Jhondie replied. "She'll come home when she's good and ready to show that she's not going to be bossed around by her sister." A bitter smile lifted the corners of her mouth. "Mom didn't tell her she couldn't go to a party. She doesn't have to listen to me."  
  
"We'll drive around and look for her," I said to Anna. "That's more than the cops will do. I think that between the two of us we know of quite a few places for kids to party."  
  
"I am so sorry about this," Anna said, her distress obvious. "I promised to keep an eye on her and..."  
  
"It's nobody's fault but Kayla's," Jhondie interrupted gently. "I'm more to blame than you are since I was the one that believed her when she said she would be good while Mom was gone. I knew better. You guys didn't."  
  
I stood up before she could fall back into that pattern she had so recently been in about blaming herself for what happened to a sister. "This can be fixed," I said pointedly. Jhondie looked up at me, understanding what I meant. Anna and Becky didn't get the depths of it, but, thank God, Jhondie did. She nodded and stood as well.  
  
"I'm sorry that you guys got dragged into this," she said. " I should have stuck with the original plan off school, ballet and home for her, but I thought she might be trustworthy enough to do one little thing. I don't know what's gotten into Kayla lately, but it's not going to be staying around for much longer."  
  
Anna smiled weakly. "Good luck. I hope you find her quickly."  
  
"We all do," I said and Jhondie and I left. As soon as we got into the car, the control Jhondie had kept over her expression dropped and her fury was obvious. "Don't try to stop me from killing her," she said curtly.  
  
"Stop you? I was planning on asking you if I could hold her down while you did it," I said, trying to muster some cheerfulness as we drove away.  
  
She blew out a breath. "I just can't believe she did it. She totally set me up and slammed me."  
  
"Well, luckily a silver Corvette is going to stick out something fierce around here," I said, trying to get her focused back on the here and now. "I was thinking that we would check out Scorch first and then go from there."  
  
Jhondie nodded. "That's probably where they're having their party, unless it's at someone's home. And I have no idea where all of her friends live. If she's at one of their places, then I don't know where to even begin looking."  
  
I looked over at her incredulously. "You really think that I can't find someone in this city? All I need is a street name and I'm willing to bet I could have a real name, address and social security number in less than an hour."  
  
She gave me a little smile. "I can't ask you to give up favors meant for Eyes Only."  
  
"You don't have to. You're more important."  
  
Her hand covered mine on the gearshift. "Thank you," she said softly. "I wish I didn't have to drag you into every family mess, but I am so glad you are here."  
  
I smiled back at her. "Just wait. In a couple of years, I'm going to have two of them to chase around and then you're going to be paying me back with interest." Her fingers tightened around mine and we didn't say much until we got to Scorch.  
  
A couple of years after the Pulse, there was a major earthquake that hit part of LA. Its epicenter was a hundred miles away, but it was still big enough to do some serious damage to the city. There weren't nearly the resources available to combat the aftereffects of the quake and that included a large fire that broke out. It consumed almost fifteen square blocks of the city before finally getting under control. A large area around the fire site was abandoned as well because nobody could or would clean up the damaged area. It seemed more important at the time to help the survivors than pick up the old pieces. The area that was abandoned was known as Scorch.  
  
I was a kid when the quake happened, but I could still remember it clearly. It was a monster and scared the hell out of me. Scared Mom too until she knew for certain that Dad was safe. Ironically, the quake was what got Jhondie's family out there. Six emergency medicine doctors had been killed either in the quake or trying to get victims out and looters attacked the ambulances. That's why there was an opening for Dr. Harris to move into. The quake would have been bad by pre-Pulse standards, but post-Pulse, it was a nightmare.  
  
Most of the people that left the Scorch area had just boarded up the houses and taken off. The ones that moved in there were not the type that you wanted as neighbors. Cops didn't like going into burned houses that were on the verge of collapse, so it seemed a good place for gangs to go to. As time passed, the area got more and more abandoned, so it seemed there was an uneasy truce. As long as the riffraff stayed where they belonged, the cops would stay out of the area. It wasn't a place you wanted to go to in the day much less the night. But since there were fewer cops that would venture into it, lots more parties took place there.  
  
Two hours passed and we finally had to admit that if the party was taking place there, nobody knew about it. When you drive a new-looking car and don't seem afraid to be in the area, the local are immediately wary of you. Most people that make a wrong turn and end up at Scorch know where they are and are terrified. That's like showing fear in front of a dog. Instant attack. When you're not nervous, you either belong there or own the people that do. We questioned the right sort of people, but no luck. The ones looking for a party couldn't find one in Scorch that night. Most of them asked us to tell them where the party was when we found it. I probably would. I couldn't think of anything better to do to Katrina and her little punk high-school crowd than to have a gang of Scorchers show up.  
  
More time passed as we started tracking the friends down. Someone had to know something. A couple of the houses we called and acted like it was a wrong number. There obviously wasn't a party going on in the background. And there wasn't the slightest sign of the silver Corvette anywhere. I was getting frustrated. Jhondie was beyond frustrated. She didn't want to have to call her mother and she was afraid to call the cops. We were on the verge of giving up and going back to her house to wait for Kayla when my phone rang.  
  
I grabbed it and listened after saying hello. Oh hell. I was going to start carrying tranquilizers. Not for me. For Jhondie. Because that was all I could think of that was going to keep her from going through the roof. I thanked Officer Peterson and told him we would be there shortly. It was official now. Kayla had surpassed my stunts on the dumb teenager scale.  
  
We were on surface streets so it was quick to hang up and pull over quickly into a strip mall's parking lot. Jhondie looked at me anxiously. As much as she had threatened to hurt Kayla that night, she didn't really want to have to go to the hospital to get her. I almost wished it was a hospital that had called, I really did.  
  
"Who was it?" she asked a little fearfully.  
  
I licked my lips, trying to figure the right words to say. Never mind. There wasn't a way to soften this one up. "That was Officer Peterson from the 18th precinct," I said flatly. "Kayla was arrested earlier for trespassing and public intoxication. Apparently she gave them that number for a contact and they want to know if we want to get her tonight or if they should process her in."  
  
Jhondie's response was best left to the imagination. 


	13. Wild Ride

Jhondie  
  
All I can say is that Kayla was lucky Justin was with me when the cops called. She was lucky he went with me to the police station to get her. And most of all, she was lucky that he was holding my hand really tight when they brought her out. Because all I wanted was to choke the life out of her and I would have probably been smiling as I did it.  
  
Arrested. Of all the dumb things possible, she manages to get herself thrown in jail. I swear it was tempting just to let her rot in there. That's another thing she had better be glad Justin was there for. My initial reaction was to go home and watch a movie. Maybe the entire Godfather trilogy, or something else at least four hours long. Let her sit there until I felt like dealing with her. But Justin reminded me that if I let her sit there for too much longer, there wasn't going to be the option of paying a fine and then Kayla was going to have to go to a judge. Mom would have to be the one to deal with it all then and that would make her regret leaving. Damn Kayla. She was so going to pay for this.  
  
We went to the police station and Justin stepped up and did most of the talking. It never failed to amaze me how he could put perfect strangers at ease so that they were giving out more information than they had originally intended. It was so smooth and urbane and "let's just gloss this over, shall we?" that I would have sworn he was a different person. Not only was he offered some lousy coffee, but one of the cops offered him a doughnut as well. I managed to keep my mouth shut and let him handle things. That was the only way I could think of to keep from jumping up and down and screaming a lot.  
  
Officer Peterson, the one that had called, told us that there was an abandoned house that kids like to use as a party place. As long as they are just drinking and not being a problem, then it's normally overlooked. There were a lot more important things to deal with in LA than a few kids getting drunk and not causing a scene. But they had gotten word that someone was selling a lot of meth at the house parties now and it was time to break it up and scare the kids off. The house was close to a decent neighborhood and there was no need to let such things start filtering in there without some kind of check. Cops came in, lights blaring; making most of the kids scatter. Kayla was too drunk to run fast. She might have gotten away, but the girl she was with, a certain Katrina Thomas, could not get her car to start. Apparently, someone at the party thought it would be a great joke to siphon her gas while they were inside. Very funny indeed. Katrina's boyfriend had paid her fine and was waiting for her to be processed out as well.  
  
I know that before the Pulse, even a minor infraction like this would involve going before a judge and probably getting probation and community service or something along those lines. Things were different now. For little stuff like this, you were offered a choice to go to a judge and be sentenced or you could just pay a fine, a good chunk of which went into the cop's pocket, and be done with it. Justin paid the fine without arguing over the price (haggling over dropping a charge so the fine would be lowered was normal) and that made everyone all the more cooperative so that we didn't have to wait a few hours while they processed her out. Thirty minutes after we walked in there, Kayla was escorted out.  
  
I caught a glimpse of her before she saw us, and it softened me a little. She was terrified. She was disheveled and looking around like attack was going to come at any second. Her stockings were run and one of the heels on her stilettos was broken, making her limp. Now I knew what the bag was that she had mentioned while on the phone. She had her own emergency slut- outfit for those parties that just spring up. No, I wasn't bitter.  
  
As soon as she saw us, Kayla straightened her shoulders, her chin lifting defiantly. It didn't help. I could still tell that she had been crying and had the cop not been there, she wouldn't have been able to walk a straight line. Glaring and stumbling just isn't the bold look that you want at that moment. I doubted if she would remember most of the night though. From what the cops had said, she had been here a few hours already and I could still smell the alcohol on her from across the room.  
  
We got into the car without a word spoken. Kayla was too drunk to say much and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to control myself once I got started. I think Justin would have preferred to take me home himself and he had also offered to have us go back to his place and let Kayla sleep it off there, but I decided that I would pick up my car over at Justin's and drive Kayla home myself. I needed to. That way I would have to have my hands on the wheel and not around her neck.  
  
Justin was still worried when we got back to his place and Kayla got into my car. "Are you sure?" he asked again. "It's not going to do any good to lay into her tonight, trust me on that. She's not going to care where she ends up passing out."  
  
And you need me. That's what he didn't say, but meant anyways. Jerk. He was so right too. Words cannot begin to express how much I wanted to say yes and have him with me for the rest of the night. I wanted him to be with me that morning for support when it was time to talk to Kay and find out what the hell was going through her mind when she decided to take off.  
  
"I think I need to deal with her alone tomorrow," I said hesitantly. "More than one person and she's going to see it as ganging up on her."  
  
"Don't lose your temper," he warned.  
  
"I won't," I said. "I'm going to take her home, dump her in bed and in the morning make some really strong coffee and we'll just talk." I took a deep breath. "I've faced worse. I think."  
  
He smiled slightly. "Don't forget what your first hangover was like when you go to talk to her, okay? Yelling is only going to drive her away."  
  
I sighed. "Maybe I should let you do it. You're the soft interrogation expert. All my training started with slapping the person around and working up to breaking fingers and toes."  
  
Justin hugged me and I gratefully sank into his arms. "You'll do fine," he said encouragingly. "You've kept your cool with Zack all these years. She's going to be a piece of cake."  
  
I leaned up and kissed him briefly. "Thank you for everything. I love you."  
  
"Love you too cariña. Give her hell. Just nicely."  
  
He turned and walked out of the garage into the elevator. I almost pounced him and made him come home with me. No. This was better. I was going to handle this like an adult. She was my responsibility. And I was so going to apologize to Zack a thousand times over because if this was like what he had to deal with, then I totally understood him finally. It wasn't that she was drunk so much it was that she was being totally stupid for no good reason.  
  
I got into the car and left the parking garage. Kayla was somewhat more alert and now looking like she was on the verge of a major pout. She looked like she was going to say something, but I got in there first. "We're not going to discuss this tonight," I said firmly. "You can sleep it off and then in the morning we'll talk about everything." I was so proud of myself. I was going to handle this like an adult.  
  
I thought I was. I would have. But drunken teenagers just don't know when it's a good time to keep their mouths shut.  
  
"Nothing to talk about," she muttered irritably, crossing her arms. "You wouldn't be able to understand," she said in an accusing tone. "You don't know how to have fun."  
  
I slammed on the breaks, making them lock up and we skidded to a stop. It was a good thing it was so late and there wasn't much traffic. Kayla was jerked forward into her seatbelt and then slammed back into the seat. Her face jerked towards me in alarm. "Fun?" I asked menacingly. "You call what you're doing fun?"  
  
I smiled. She flinched back from it. "You're right," I said cheerfully. "Maybe I do need to be more like you and have some real fun. I'll do just what you're doing."  
  
"What are you talking about?" she asked suspiciously. I didn't answer. I just started driving. Kayla closed her eyes and leaned against the window. Perfect. She didn't realize that I wasn't heading home. Instead I headed out of the city towards the hills. Kayla didn't open her eyes again until I came to a stop. She must have thought that we were at home. She turned to me in confusion when she saw where we were.  
  
The road ahead ran along some high bluffs. It twisted and turned sharply and there wasn't much in the way of lighting. Just the moon and stars really. To top it off, several of the homes that had once graced these hills had collapsed in landsides since the Pulse and had never been cleaned up or rebuilt. The road wasn't maintained anymore so it was rough and uneven. Just what I wanted.  
  
"Did Miss Perfect forget the way home?" Kayla sneered.  
  
I smiled tightly at her. "I told you," I responded coolly, "I'm going to start being more like you." Simultaneously, I flicked off the headlights and slammed the accelerator to the floor.  
  
Kayla screamed as the car engine roared and the car began tearing down the road, hairpin curves invisible until we were on them. "Turn on the lights!" she screamed, panic sobering her almost instantly.  
  
I was counting on her not remembering that I had told her I could see in the dark. From the sheer terror on her face and in her voice, she didn't remember. What was pitch black to her was clear enough to me. Curves she couldn't see until we were two feet from there were plenty visible to me at a distance. She couldn't see my eyes at that time, so there was no way for her to realize how much I was relying on my enhanced vision right then.  
  
Kayla screamed again as we hit a tight curve. I let the car drift way over the centerline until we almost hit the edge of the road before pulling back. "Stop!" she sobbed. "You're going to get us killed!"  
  
"What's wrong?" I yelled back at her. "You said I should be more like you. Here we are! Ninety miles an hour around blind curves with no lights. Not going to be able to see anything until it's too late. I'm just driving the way you're living, little girl, so enjoy."  
  
"Oh God," she moaned her face in her hands. "I don't want to die like this. Please, Jhondie, stop."  
  
We hit another turn and I had to slam the breaks, downshifting hard to slow down, and whip around the corner, almost putting the car on two wheels. Kayla shrieked again, bracing for then impact that didn't come. Between that fright and the alcohol in her blood, it gave her enough courage to actually try and grab the wheel.  
  
Kayla lunged towards me, grabbing my shoulder to shove me back while wrapping her fingers around the wheel. I shoved her off of me easily with one hand, letting the car swerve wildly. She was slammed back into the passenger door, crying out as her head hit the glass. "You don't want anyone to try and slow you down!" I snarled at her. "Why do you want to stop now?"  
  
Kayla was damn near curled into the fetal position as we slammed down the cliffs, heading for the ocean. Honestly, I wanted to slow down and comfort her and tell her that there wasn't any real danger. I had never seen her so scared in her life. But I had to. Now I knew how Justin had felt when he finally snapped on me. I had to shock her into seeing what she was doing. She didn't look up again until I slowed down as we hit the sand. I knew the area fairly well. It was mostly deserted and I liked to go there when I needed to be by myself. And the bet part was that nobody was close enough to come investigating when someone was screaming.  
  
I stopped the car and threw it into park. Kayla managed to get her seatbelt off and was scrambling to get out of the car just as fast as she could. Even sober, there was no way she could move faster than me. I was over the hood of the car in a second and grabbed her just as she fell out onto the sand. It wasn't pretty. Kayla was fighting and screaming the whole time, but I didn't let her go even when she bit my hand. Great. Now I was going to have to get checked for brat rabies. I had to admit that even for me it was a challenge to keep my hands on her. The kid was a scrapper. If I was a normal girl, I didn't think I would have been able to drag her into the water.  
  
But that's where I managed to get her. I got about shin deep in the freezing Pacific and tossed her into the next wave. She was drenched, sputtering, and about 90% sober at that moment. I grabbed her again and she hauled off and slapped me across the face as hard as she could. I wasn't expecting it and it knocked me slightly off center just as another wave it. Suddenly both of us were in the water.  
  
She tried to get away but I caught her by the ankle, taking her back under the water. She kicked, barely missing my nose by an inch. She was lucky there. Had she hit me, only a direct act of God would have been able to save her. I lunged forward, grabbing her by her shoulders and dragging her up. She was still squirming and twisting and I barely caught the flash of her hand out of the corner of my eye.  
  
I caught her wrist easily, holding her by the throat with the other one. "Do it again and I really will drown you like a kitten," I hissed. She froze. I guess after the car she had no idea what I was going to do next. "I don't care how long I have to hold you under water, you're going to sober up and sober up now, little girl. You sober enough to listen now?" She was sobbing too hard to answer. I gave her a sharp little shake. "Listen or go under the water?" I shouted.  
  
"I'm listening!" she screamed through her tears.  
  
"Good," I growled. "Because this ends now. You want to play grownup and run around and think there are no consequences? Wrong answer. *I* am your consequences. You make Mom cry one more time over you and I swear to God they are all going to think you ran away. You got that? You can't even control *yourself* anymore. You can't do it, you don't want help and nobody knows what to do. All you're doing is throwing away the only people that ever will really care about you and when your so-called friends leave you high and dry, what are you going to have left? Absolutely nothing. And trust me, that's the darkest, scariest place to be."  
  
"You don't know anything!" she screamed at me, pulling back. I let her go and she stumbled back but stayed on her feet. I guess all that ballet was really helping her balance. "Mom doesn't want to understand and you can't care!"  
  
"You think I'd be freezing my butt off if I didn't care?" I yelled back at her. "If I didn't care about you I'd be curled up with Justin right now and you'd be sitting in jail!"  
  
"It's all fake!" she sobbed. "You don't know how to really care. If you did, you would have cared when Daddy died!"  
  
I blinked. "What did you say?" I asked, my voice barely carrying over the surf.  
  
"You didn't even cry!" she blurted. "He raised you for years. He called you his daughter. And you never cried. It didn't bother you at all! A girl you haven't seen for years disappears and you're all freaked, but your father dies and it's nothing to you." She turned and started out of the water, stumbling up the beach. For a long moment I couldn't move, remembering how I had told myself over and over back then that I had to be strong. That I had to be strong for Mom and Kayla. I had to. I had to.  
  
"Kayla!" I shouted and ran fast, catching up to her easily. I gently turned her to face me. "The night Dad died, I had to have Justin drive us home," I admitted. She looked confused. "I couldn't think clear enough to even drive. When Justin was driving, I kept looking around and I had no idea where we were and you know how many times I've made that drive."  
  
We were both crying now. I swiped at my face and plunged on, glad she was listening. "When we got home you and Mom were asleep and I did cry then." I shook my head. "No, I didn't cry so much as go totally hysterical. Justin was with me and I cried and cried until I didn't think I would ever stop. And that wasn't the worst of it. I was totally flipped out for a while. I went after this one guy 'cause I thought he was involved and I came within a hair of killing him on a suspicion." I let out a little laugh of self-mockery. "I even tried to seduce Justin one night and that was before we were even dating."  
  
Kayla's jaw dropped. Considering that I had always been the one complaining about how boys always wanted sex from me right off the bat, hearing that I went after someone I wasn't with was a shock for her. I didn't just "hook up" for the night. "I didn't want you guys to see it," I sniffed. "Mom didn't need me to be all hysterical and I wanted you to think you could talk to me and not be a burden and all that. But I did cry. Days, sometimes weeks can go by and I don't think about the others. But I still think about Dad every day. I still miss him, Kay. I always will."  
  
Her face was in her hands as she sobbed quietly. I wanted to put my arms around her and comfort her but I didn't know how anymore. I wasn't sure of anything.  
  
"I don't feel good," she finally said in a small voice, looking up at me.  
  
I nodded. "Come on," I said softly. "Let's go home."  
  
We slowly walked back to the car. Hesitantly, I reached out and put my arm around Kay's shoulders. She stiffened, her arms still folded tightly, but she didn't pull away. I guessed that was a start.  
  
I just wished I knew what it was the start of. 


	14. Inventory

Justin  
  
I had a bad habit of falling asleep at my computer. I didn't have to worry about it when Jhondie was there because she would wake me up and send me off to bed. She said I looked cute with my head on my desk, but I tended to drool on important paperwork. I disagreed with that wholeheartedly. I wasn't the one that had to flip over a pillow before because it was too damp to sleep on by three AM. I loved the girl, but I was glad that she didn't sleep much. I would have to have the bed lined in plastic to contain the saliva.  
  
In any case, when Jhondie left to take Kayla home, I ended up asleep at my desk. I had intended to wait for her to call me and let me know she got home okay, but as time passed, I guessed that maybe her and Kayla were having a good talk. It seemed doubtful considering how inebriated the kid was, but still, it could happen. I hoped so at least. Maybe being intoxicated, she might be relaxed enough to listen, and being thrown in jail had to be scary. She needed a wake-up call and this could be the way to straighten her out.  
  
I had a lot of work to do on my own, so I settled down at the PC with some strong coffee and a pile of notes. Nikki called once about an article we were working on together. Drugs from police evidence were making it back onto the streets. Nikki had covered a bust where some crystal meth was taken off the street, but there was a weird element to it. Whoever had made it found a way to make it glow in the dark. Awesome for parties, right? But the deal was that he was the only person who knew how to do it and he couldn't tell anyone while in jail. A couple of weeks ago, one of my informants told me about some meth that was glowing at a party she went to the night before. According to the cops, it was all taken before it could hit the market.  
  
Nikki was running down the people involved with the bust. Since she did the original work, she was claiming that she was just following up. Cops didn't mind talking to her then. After all, her original article was rather flattering towards them. They weren't going to know what hit them. Right now they saw her as a cute little rookie. Cute hid some very sharp claws. I knew Jhondie was going to have to stop working with me for Eyes Only soon, probably in the next year or so, and when she did, I was thinking that Nikki was going to be the best possible replacement. Not as good by any means, but far better than most.  
  
I keyed in all the notes for the article and then worked some on a piece that I was planning on submitting to a national magazine. At some point in putting the finishing touches on a paper that was due the next week, I leaned back in my chair to think for a minute. I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew, the front door was rattling.  
  
It took me a second to orient myself. It was still night. Way too early for Jhondie to be coming over. I blinked a couple of times and then got up, not prepared for what I saw. It was Jhondie, but Kayla was with her. Both of them were soaking wet. Very gently, Jhondie told her sister to go into the bathroom and dry off and she'd get her something to wear. I had to be dreaming. That was the only thing that made sense. This was just a very, very bizarre dream.  
  
Kayla went into the bathroom and Jhondie looked over at me. "Your place was closer," she said, her voice heartbreakingly sad. "I'm sorry to bug you..." her words trailed off and she looked absolutely miserable. My place was closer. It was the excuse she needed. Whatever had just happened with her and Kayla, it had to have been pretty intense. What she wanted was to come back here and be with me. Not going to complain.  
  
I went to her and pulled her close to me, ignoring how wet she was. I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to know why or how she had gotten soaked since she left here. And why her hair smelled like the ocean. "You know you're welcome here any time, day or night," I said softly. "Want to tell me what happened?"  
  
Jhondie took a deep breath and pulled away. "I have to take care of her first," she replied, trying to keep her voice steady. "Get her to bed and then...then..."  
  
I kissed her forehead. "Kayla can sleep in my bed. It's closer to the bathroom anyways if she has to throw up." That got a slight smile out of Jhondie. "And then you can come out here and break down as much as you need to." The sheer gratitude in her eyes was painful to see as she turned and went into the bedroom. Jhondie had some of her looser lounging clothes over here that Kay would be able to wear.  
  
I stretched out on the couch and waited for a while. The shower ran for a bit and then I could hear some soft murmuring in the bedroom before Jhondie came out, a dry shirt for me in her hands. She had changed into her favorite flannel pants and a tank top and a towel was loosely wrapped around her hair. She held out the shirt and I changed quickly. I had been wondering how polite it would have been to try and slip in the room and get something dry to wear. If it had been just Jhondie, I wouldn't have cared about having something else to wear, but I wasn't going to run around half- undressed around Kayla.  
  
Jhondie waited until I pulled the dry shirt over my head and then crawled onto the couch with me. I stretched out lengthways, propped up on a couple of pillows while Jhondie snuggled against me, her head against my chest. "So, what happened to the 'be adult' game plan?" I asked lightly, rubbing her back.  
  
Jhondie sighed. "It would have been just fine until the kid opened her mouth," she replied flatly. Kayla just seemed gifted with the ability to say the exact wrong thing at the wrong moment. Jhondie looked up at me. "All this time she's been so angry at me. She's been rude and bratty and stupid, and I thought it was because she didn't know how to handle the truth about me. It didn't have anything to do with that. She's been angry with me over Dad. I didn't want her to see how messed up I was then and she took that to mean I didn't care." She let out a bitter little laugh.  
  
How do you even respond to that? I knew how much it had hurt Jhondie, but I had been able to see it firsthand. Maybe it was because I really did know what she was going through, but she didn't try to hide her pain and grief from me. Even though I was really tempted, I didn't use it to do something that would have hurt her even more and cost me her friendship. I knew why she had on her game face with her mom and sister, but I was the one that had seen the pain. She wanted to be strong for them. And she was. The cost to herself had been way too high, but that was something they would never know.  
  
"There's no way to know how to act when something like that happens," I finally said. "You did what you thought was right and that's the only way to handle it. Kayla will see that eventually." I paused, still not sure if I wanted the answer or not, but plunged ahead anyways. "When did the swim come into play?"  
  
Jhondie blushed a little. "It would have been fine if she had kept her mouth shut," she repeated and then told me about their little wild ride. I had a hard time trying not to laugh, thinking about Kayla trying to deal with that. I wouldn't have been worried. I knew that Jhondie could see just fine in the dark and her telescopic vision would allow her to see things ahead in plenty of time to react.  
  
"So, she was looking like she was going to get sick and your place was closer," Jhondie concluded. She gave me a little smile. "Well, more like I didn't want to be alone tonight." She sighed and laid her head against me again. "And once more I use you to fall apart on and wait for you to make it all better."  
  
I kissed the top of her head. "Don't worry. I'll send you a bill later."  
  
That got a giggle out of her. She looked up for a second with a rather naughty little smile. "I guess we can negotiate some kind of settlement." She glanced towards my bedroom door and looked a bit regretful. "But not tonight."  
  
I yawned. "I love you, but tonight, I don't think I could stay awake long enough anyways." Another small laugh. We both settled back and relaxed. I doubted if Jhondie would sleep, but I was tired. She would wait until I was asleep and then get up and do something else. I was drifting off when I heard her speak, very softly.  
  
"I wouldn't have left," she whispered.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Even if you hadn't told me to make up my mind, I already knew. You are the one thing I can't let go of."  
  
I didn't say anything. Didn't need to. She was there and I was there and that was all that mattered. That and the ring I had secured away. My arms wrapped a little more tightly around her as I drifted off to sleep, knowing that I had everything that mattered right there with me.  
  
It took me a minute to orient myself when I woke up that morning. I was used to falling asleep at my computer and in bed, but it was rare that I spent the night on my couch. I was the one that paid for this place. I was the legal owner of the furniture in that bedroom. My girlfriend decides that I've got the couch so that her sister can have the bed, and I don't even protest it. What idiot said that women were the weaker sex?  
  
I sat up and noticed the note on the coffee table from Jhondie. She was hungry. Wanted doughnuts. Would be back soon. I closed my eyes and sighed. In other words, she wasn't ready to face her sister yet. Okay, so a hung over teenager was going to emerge soon. Hiding would be good. I wasn't going to deal with her. Coffee. I could deal with coffee.  
  
I got up and stumbled into the kitchen. I'm not exactly my best when I first wake up. I need a good hour before I can really carry on a civilized conversation. That and a good cup of coffee. I put some in to brew, thought about what was soon to emerge, and made it extra-strong. It was finishing up when a very pale Kayla plodded in, holding her head and grimacing. She plopped down dramatically at the table and put her head down.  
  
I didn't say anything, just put a cup of the hot liquid in front of her. She looked up with that what-did-I-do look that all seemed to experience at least once in their life. "I feel like hell," she groaned.  
  
"I know," I replied, gesturing towards the cup in front of her. "Best cure is that straight up or a Bloody Mary. We'll stick with the coffee."  
  
She gingerly took a sip. "Is it time for the lecture?" Maybe it was supposed to come out a little arrogant, but all she sounded was pitiful.  
  
"Oh, I think the headache you have right now is saying far more than I ever could," I said with a wry smile. She made a face. "If I wanted to punish you, I'd be frying some eggs right now." Kayla turned green at the thought.  
  
There was silence for a long minute. "Where's Jhondie?" Kayla finally asked.  
  
"At Dunkin Donuts," I replied. "I think she needed a little time to think." Kayla just sat there looking miserable. "You know," I began very cautiously, as if she was a very skittish interview, "I admit I've snuck out for a few parties in my life. For future reference, when you do, make sure it's in a way where you might not get caught."  
  
Kay sniffed. "I didn't want to!" she cried, and then winced at her own volume. Her volume lowered, but the tone was no less intense. "When Kat called, I told her I didn't want to go. I told her like twice that I was going to stay and she was getting all mad at me." Kayla didn't know it, but that caught my attention more than anything. Why would Katrina be so determined to get Kayla to a party? "And then Kat told me about Adrienne," Kayla continued in a rush. "She's all been out to get Frankie and everything and Kat was saying that if I didn't go then Frankie would think it really was over because I didn't care about him enough. And Adrienne's been saying stuff to him that I'm not worth it and all that. And I told Kat that if he loved me he'd understand, but she was all telling me that if you're going to be in love then you best prove it and if I'm not, you know, doing it with him, I better find some other way."  
  
I thought for a second. Frankie was out for booty. That was a given. He'd play Kayla and Adrienne at the same time for as long as possible. He wouldn't care if Kayla were at the party. As a matter of fact, if this other girl would put out, then it would be better for him if Kay didn't show up. Which led us back to the original question. Why did Katrina want Kayla there so very much? Asking Kayla wasn't going to help. She thought her friend was trying to help her. I had a feeling it was for a reason far more self-serving.  
  
"Was it worth it?" I asked.  
  
Kayla put her head back down and sniffed. "I don't really remember," she admitted. She looked back up at me furiously when I burst into laughter. "It's not funny!" she said indignantly.  
  
I grinned. "Now I know why my father laughed the first time I said the same thing to him," I said. A tiny smile touched the edge of her mouth. "A really long hot shower will help," I suggested gently. "Before Jhondie gets back."  
  
She nodded. "Okay. Thanks for listening."  
  
"Anytime." She headed back towards my bedroom. When I heard the shower come on, I slipped into the living room and grabbed her backpack. I unzipped it and began going through the contents carefully. Her clothes that she was wearing when we dropped her off to study. Some toiletries. Fresh stockings. Breath mints. One red and one glow in the dark condom. Christ, hide those before Jhondie sees them. Stuffed cat. A couple of CD's. A lighter, two pens and a beaded necklace rounded out the collection.  
  
It was everything that a teenage girl would need for a night sneaking out on the town. All except for the cat. I knew that Katrina had given it to her for Christmas. A cat from Kat, what a funny joke, right? Kayla always took it with them when they went out. It was an inside joke. A funny. Ha ha. I picked it up and examined it closely. Jhondie would have caught it first from sight, maybe, but from the feel, I knew there was something not quite right with this stuffed animal. No stuffing I had ever heard of came with hard edges.  
  
Very carefully I examined the underside of the cat. Very cleverly hidden in its deep fur were closures. I unsnapped them and there was the inside of kitty, all scooped out and ready to hide things. A very small amount of white powder fell out of the cat and landed on my hand. Jhondie had wondered more than once what an older girl was doing hanging around her little sister. Kat's boyfriend was a drug dealer. They needed someone without a police record to hold the drugs between parties. Jhondie had thought that maybe Katrina was hoping Kayla would turn out to be lesbian. Looks like it wasn't nearly that simple.  
  
No wonder Kat was so determined to get Kay to the party. She had the merchandise. Except for the little that had spilled inside the cat, it was gone now. Instead of drugs, a videotape was stuffed inside of kitty. I pulled it out along with a very lacy pair of panties.  
  
And that was the exact moment that Jhondie walked in. She blinked, seeing me surrounded by her sister's things and holding a pair of panties. "We have a problem," I said quickly.  
  
"Obviously. Why are you holding my sister's underwear?"  
  
"You're going to need a doughnut to hear this." 


	15. Undeniable Evidence

(A/N - Thought I should state that this chapter goes from PG-13 to very much R-rated, and not that happy, fluffy J & J snuggling kind of R-rating. It's a pretty rough chapter where Kay's going to realize the consequences of her actions. If you are under 17 or don't want to read it, then wait for the next chapter. Enough is going to be said where you'll get the gist of what happened. Okay, that said, on with the story.)  
  
Jhondie  
  
It didn't take Justin long to explain. I admit that it startled me to walk in and see him holding Kayla's panties, but that was nothing compared to the rage I was feeling towards Katrina at that moment. And the worse part was how to tell Kayla. She wasn't going to want to hear it. She wasn't going to believe it. And what the hell was on that tape that was bad enough to make Katrina risk her drug hiding spot?  
  
We put Kay's stuff, except for the cat, back into her backpack. She came out a few minutes later, drying her hair. She still looked quite hung- over, but she was awake enough to talk to. I took a deep breath. Stay calm. Do not start yelling until you know for certain that she knew what was in the cat. Then choke the life out of her.  
  
"Sit down," I said firmly, but coolly. She sat on the edge of the couch, her mouth tightening, eyes growing hard.  
  
"They were just for a joke," she said quickly. "I wasn't using them like you think."  
  
I blinked, stunned at how callous she was. "My God, child, do you know what would have happened if the cops had seen that?"  
  
She grunted in annoyance. "Oh my God, they would have thought it was for traditional use. Not like the shaving cream was in there already."  
  
Huh wha who? Backup. "Shaving cream?"  
  
She folded her arms. "It's not dangerous at all. Everything cleans up and they don't break anything. They just hold more shaving cream than balloons, that's all."  
  
Justin laughed and I shot him a glare. "Condoms," he said with a grin. I thought for a second and realized there was a couple in her inventory. "Let me guess," he said to Kayla, "You and a couple of friends were going to fill them with shaving cream and then drop them off of an overpass at cars." She nodded, looking down. Amazing how something can sound so funny while drunk and so stupid when sober. Wait a minute. She was concerned over a couple of condoms. She wasn't nervous at all about the cat. My God. She had no idea. Relieved? Hell yes. But now I had the pleasure of letting her know that she had been a mule, not a best friend.  
  
"Kay," I asked much more gently, "what happened at the party last night?"  
  
She shrugged. "I told Justin why I went," she whined. Justin had filled me in on that. It made so much sense knowing what was in the cat. "We just hung out and had fun. I think. I had a couple of drinks and I don't remember all that much until I was in jail and they were asking if I had someone to call and pay the fine." Now she was looking down and the defiance was gone. She really did look rather pitiful.  
  
I sat down on the arm of the couch, not sure how to tell her. "I'm sorry, okay?" she blurted. "I just had to go. You of all people should know what that's like. Doing what you don't really want but you have to."  
  
Oh I understood. She just didn't know the real reason why she "had" to be there and it had nothing to do with Frankie. "Katrina gave you this, didn't she?" I asked, holding up her cat.  
  
She nodded and took it from me. "Yeah. I always take it with us when we go out. You know that." She was playing with it absently and then gave it an odd look. She looked up at me angrily. "What did you do with my cat?"  
  
"I didn't do anything."  
  
"Someone did," she protested. "It feels funny in the middle."  
  
I wished Mom had found all this. I wished she were here. She would know what to say and do. But she wasn't. I had to handle this. And oh, boy would I have preferred to be a million miles away. "That's because his stuffing was removed to make room for this," I said holding up the tape. "We found it in there. It looks like the cat's been used as a hiding place."  
  
The look she gave me demanded to know what I was accusing her of. "I think Katrina's been using it to hide drugs," I blurted. I ignored Justin's delicate eye roll. Real smooth there, girl. "There was some other stuff in there that if tested would probably be illegal," I added in a rush.  
  
Kayla was shaking her head lightly. "No. She wouldn't do that," she protested bitterly. "I know you don't like her, but she doesn't do drugs. Ever. She drinks, but she has never once done drugs."  
  
"I don't think they were there for personal use," I said softly. "I think you were supposed to come to the party because you had what she was going to sell that night."  
  
Tears filled her eyes. She wasn't about to admit it, but I think deep down she knew that I was telling the truth. "You're making that up because you hate her," she accused. "I bet that's a blank tape."  
  
"I doubt that," Justin said calmly. "It might be interesting to watch. Might explain why these were tucked up inside the cat as well." He then oh so delicately flicked the panties at her. Her face went blood red as she gasped with embarrassment. Her jaw worked for a second but no sound came out.  
  
"As a matter of fact, I've got some work to do," he said as he stood up. "I think you two need to watch it together and go from there." He walked out of the room and left me there with Kayla. I knew why he had done it, but I was still going to kill him later anyways.  
  
"What was he doing with my..." Kayla practically squeaked.  
  
"They were with the tape," I said pointedly. "Do you have any idea what's on this thing?" She shook her head slowly. "Do you want to?" I finally asked.  
  
Her chin lifted. "Put it in," she said firmly. "You like to have things proven. It'll prove you wrong about Katrina. And I know there's a reasonable explanation about the other." She nodded, her words coming faster. "Yeah, go ahead and play it. You're not going to like to be wrong, but you're going to have to admit it when you see it."  
  
I put the tape in the VCR and hit play. The image of some guy filled the screen. He was obviously the guy running the camera and had turned it towards himself. He was grinning and his eyes were slightly glazed. He welcomed everyone to the party and then announced he had the munchies. He also managed to squeeze six cuss words into the three sentences he spoke. Oh yeah, Kayla was really at a high-class party there.  
  
The camera panned around and there were at least twenty kids there in varying stages of sobriety. Most of them were holding a drink and quite a few had joints in hand as well. A couple of kids were snorting something in the corner. Lovely place to be. The place was also filthy but that didn't seem to bother any of them, especially the one couple on the floor already making out. The cameraman offered his encouragements to the guy to go for her bra. The guy replied back that he already had it and the girl started giggling drunkenly.  
  
A girl wandered up to the cameraman and asked him for a hit. The camera dropped slightly and focused in on her chest. She was wearing a tight baby- t and this micro-mini skirt. Her eyeliner was smeared and I was willing to bet that she already had more than one satisfied customer that night. I couldn't make out the exact words the cameraman said in response to her request, but the sentiment was made clear when she pulled down the top of her shirt and began to play with her exposed breasts. There were quite a few whistles from the other men in the room and a few nasty suggestions. One of which she must have approved of because she suddenly dropped out of frame and I could hear a zipper being undone. And then the camera wasn't being held very steady.  
  
There was a lot of bouncing and shaking and a shutoff and then the camera was in another room, aimed at a ratty looking couch and there was my darling little sister sitting on it with her best friend beside her. Frankie was perched up on the arm of the sofa. Kayla was, to say the least, trashed out of her mind. She was leaning on Katrina's shoulder, looking like she was on the verge of passing out. There were a few crude comments about her not being able to hold her alcohol. Frankie grabbed the bottle of beer out of her hand just before she would have dropped it.  
  
I glanced at Kayla and realized that she honestly didn't remember any of this. Her expression clearly said that she knew she had been there but had no idea what really had gone on that night. I could see her turning it over in her mind, remembering bits and pieces, but not all of these details. No way she could call me a liar about it though. The proof was rather self-evident.  
  
Back at the party, Katrina shook Kayla and woke her up some. Katrina smiled really huge and then said she had a great idea. She wanted to play Spin-the-Bottle. As she was speaking, I realized that she had changed out her usual tongue piercing for this thing that was flashing a little red light as her mouth opened and closed. Katrina finished off the bottle of Blue Sky she was drinking and held it up and asked who wanted to play with her.  
  
A minute later there were about ten of them in a circle. Katrina held up a hand and reminded the players that it didn't matter whom the bottle landed on, there were no re-spins, and most importantly, tongue was required. She accented that rule with a little flicking of her tongue, the lighted barbell flashing in time to her tongue movements. Kayla was sitting in the circle with the rest of them, Frankie two people to her left and Katrina to her right. Kayla seemed a little more awake and was laughing with the rest of them at Kat's rules.  
  
Kat spun first and landed on this guy that might have been hot had his hair not been so blue and spiked up two feet off of his head in a Mohawk style. He stuck out his tongue and it was just *so* cute to see two pierced tongues flicking at each other. I was starting to get sick watching this. I had seen enough, but Kayla hadn't. She needed to know how stupid she had been and this was the only way to do it. Now it was Blue Boy's turn and he landed on some other chick. He managed to cop a feel as he kissed her. Not like she protested. It was then her turn and she landed on Frankie.  
  
The girl was practically in Frankie's lap when she kissed him. Kayla looked pissed but Katrina said something to her that it was only a game but if she hadn't come, it would have been real. Kayla still looked pissed, but she didn't jump the girl like she had seemed like she would do a minute ago. Frankie spun and the bottle landed on Kayla. My eyes narrowed as he kissed her, his hands grabbing her butt as she straddled him. That wasn't a kiss. Had he slipped her a twenty; it would have qualified as a lap dance. Kayla spun and it promptly landed on Katrina.  
  
Raucous calls and whistles filled the room. Kayla looked at Kat, laughing. Kat wasn't. Kat looked downright pleased. Someone shouted for them to kiss and Kayla laughed even harder at the show Kat started to put on. I guess from a drunken perspective it could have looked like she was vamping it up, but from where I was, it was obvious that she was serious. She stretched, her long body leaning forward sensuously until she was on her hands and knees. The camera immediately moved around so that he could get a good shot of this.  
  
Katrina gave the camera a sultry smile and then looked back at my sister who was trying to hold back giggles. The neckline of Katrina's shirt had dipped and there was a very clear view of her full breasts. Someone whistled and Kat glanced back with a wicked grin and wiggled her butt. She ran her fingers lightly up Kayla's bare leg. Kayla looked really nervous but then grinned and practically struck a pose. She leaned back so that she was resting on the palms of her hands, making her shoulders pull back so that her chest was accentuated. Her tongue darted over her lips and a lustful expression filled her face.  
  
I glanced at Kayla and she looked downright horrified. The horror increased as on the tape she leaned forward, the tip of her tongue visible between her lips. Slowly, sensually...and then she leaned forward the rest of the way and gave Kat a quick peck on the lips, jerking back quickly. Beside me, my sister let out an audible sigh of relief.  
  
Everyone in the group laughed hysterically. Kayla was laughing too. Katrina was not. She looked more than merely disappointed. She looked rather pissed. She gave Kayla a malicious smile and reminded her of the rules. It was obey the rules or get out, just like at home. Kayla looked at her, drunkenly confused and I realized that despite the alcohol I had seen Katrina drink, she was much more sober than most of the people in there. The girl knew exactly what she was saying and doing. Kayla went to say something and Kat moved so fast, the cameraman almost missed it. I wished he would have, I really did.  
  
Kayla let out a little cry of despair at the next event on the tape. Katrina practically lunged forward, catching Kayla by the back of the neck with one hand, her mouth pressing down on Kayla's almost violently. Kay's mouth had been open when Kat pounced her, keeping her from blocking the tongue that was suddenly probing deep into her mouth. Kayla looked more shocked than into the kiss. She must have heard the laughter and the encouragements and thought it was just a joke and that Katrina was playing with her.  
  
That was the only thing that made sense when Kayla started responding back to the kiss. Her movements and expressions were so over the top and exaggerated; that it was obvious she was being playful. Obvious to me, but not to the crowd and certainly not to Katrina. As Kay relaxed, Katrina was gently pushing her backwards so that her head was landing in Frankie's lap. He looked pleased. Bastard. Kayla started to look confused and uncertain, especially when Kat's mouth left hers and moved down to her neck.  
  
Katrina's mouth wasn't the only thing that was wandering. Her hands started going all over my little sister, running over her breasts and butt starting to try and work their way under Kay's tight clothes. Someone yelled out an encouragement to Kat to go down on her and suddenly the crowd was all chanting "DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!" in unison. And from the direction Kat started moving, she thought it was a good idea as well.  
  
Desperation gave Kayla the strength she needed to shove Kat off of her and jerk back, huddling in a protective little ball. She looked confused on the tape and watching Kat warily. Everyone was laughing and jeering. Frankie leaned over and told her it was just a joke and calm down. God, why was she being such a baby? Kayla smiled a little then, it was obviously forced and insincere to me, but they didn't see it as that. They started cheering and the game continued, but Kayla decided not to play and sat back down on the couch to watch.  
  
"See!" Kayla cried out. "It was just a joke! Kat didn't really mean it." She was sniffing now, trying to convince herself more than me. "It was just a joke," she repeated mournfully.  
  
I didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to say it. That was not a joke on Katrina's part. That was getting Kayla drunk and trying to take advantage of it. That was just begging for an ass kicking from big sister, but we would get to that later. The tape suddenly went to snow and then to black for a second. I thought it was over and went to stop it, but it came back up. Obviously some more time had passed. I guessed the batteries went dead and someone had to either steal one or charge the old one. In either case, the game was over and they were all back milling about drunkenly or in a stoned haze. There was a brief conversation about the arrangement of the molecules in the couch between the cameraman and a guy that was licking the fuzz off of said couch and then it was back to Kat and Kayla.  
  
Kayla was sleeping on the couch, curled up with her knees against her chest, her head on the armrest. Kat was drinking a bottle of something and then the cameraman starting teasing her. Said something about Kat bragging that she'd never had a woman turn her down before. Kat stuck out her tongue and then said that once she made Kayla a woman, she'd never turn her down. Someone else starting teasing Kat about getting totally dissed by a kid. She was getting irritated and that was making the teasing even worse.  
  
Katrina finally slid her arm under Kay and repositioned her so that she was leaning on Kat instead of the armrest. Kay didn't resist and let herself get snuggled against Kat's ample chest. Kat pointed out to the hecklers that it proved Kay still loved her as she began stroking my sister's hair. She kissed the top of Kayla's head and smirked at the camera. Not all of the hecklers were convinced. One yelled out to prove it. And that was when things went from bad to worse.  
  
Katrina leaned Kayla's chin back and pressed their lips together gently. Kayla muttered something and then went right back to sleep. Kat looked piqued that her kiss didn't get anything out of Kay. She kissed her again, this time letting her hand slide up Kay's shirt. Kayla's response was a snore. Now the others were laughing at Kat, telling her she had lost her touch. And Kat was getting pissed. She had a point to prove now.  
  
"No," Kayla whispered, almost about to break down into tears at what she was seeing. She was hugging herself tightly on the couch. "Nothing's going to happen. Frankie won't let it happen." In a way, I wished she had been right about that.  
  
About that time on the tape, Frankie did enter from stage left, plopping down on the couch. He made a joking comment to Katrina, asking her what she was doing with his girl. He smirked and said that Kayla was like a security deposit box. No way to break into those pants. Katrina grinned wickedly and told him that he didn't know anything about virgins. You didn't break into them. You had to know how to use the key. And she knew just how to use it.  
  
She gently pushed Kay into Frankie's arms and told him to kiss her and wake the little princess up as she slid off of the couch. I guess it was supposed to be sensual. The catcalls and whistles made it seem like they thought it was. I thought it looked more like a drunk stumbling myself. But Frankie did as requested and pressed a kiss onto Kayla's mouth, fondling her breast roughly. That woke her up a little. Kayla blinked and muttered something incomprehensible. At least it was to me. But apparently in drunkenese it meant that she enjoyed being manhandled and please continue to maul her.  
  
I glanced over at Kayla. She was pulled tighter into a little ball on the couch as silent tears poured down her cheeks. No more of this. I went to stop the tape, but she grabbed my hand. "No," she croaked. "They're going to laugh in a minute and say it's a jo..jo..." a sob breaking off her voice. I put my arm around her and waited for the inevitable end.  
  
Katrina was kneeling in front of Kayla, her fingers stroking up and down her thighs, letting her lips brush against the skin. Kay's skirt was pushed up some, exposing more area for Kat to explore. Still more passed out than awake, Kayla made a small purr and a tiny smile formed. Frankie looked stunned and Katrina smiled smugly and told him that any time he had a virgin she would be more than happy to get her ready for him. He said he wanted to take over and she playfully smacked away the hand that went to reach up Kayla's skirt, telling him he was going to ruin it. The guy running the camera made a comment that he was going to make a fortune selling this tape on the Internet.  
  
Katrina licked her lips and kissed Kayla's inner thigh once more. She then reached up Kayla's skirt and took a long time to slide Kay's underwear off of her. Whatever she did made Kay squirm a little in Frankie's lap. He was grinning and made a crude comment about what he was going to do to her later and asked Katrina if she wanted to be there. Katrina leaned forward and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent. She grinned and said she would take on his ugly mug for a little more of that. Her hands began slowly pushing up Kay's skirt all the way, her face leaning closer and closer.  
  
And then pandemonium broke out. Someone yelled out that the cops were there and the camera was bouncing and jerking, Katrina leaping to her feet and snatching it out of the guy's hands. He said something about keeping it and she told him she wasn't going to jail because he wanted to jack off to it. She knew where to hide it and she'd give it to him later when it was finished. There was a little more scuffling and then the tape went blank.  
  
For a minute I could only sit there in stunned silence. I wished beyond anything I had ever wished before, more than even that Bryn was safe, that all that tape had contained was Kayla drunk. I wouldn't have cared if it showed Katrina selling drugs or not. A little laughing and drinking and saying stupid things and that was that. I could comfort pain and terror. I knew those. But this...I didn't even know how to begin.  
  
Kayla was quiet for a moment and then the hysterical tears burst from her. She was sobbing, her whole body shaking violently. I held her tightly, wishing I knew the right words to say. Wishing I could make it better.  
  
Wishing. 


	16. Peep

Justin  
  
To say that the rest of the weekend was difficult was an understatement to top all understatements. Jhondie and Kayla ended up staying over at my place. When she thought about going home, Kayla freaked out at thinking that Katrina or Frankie might call her. I stepped in and told her that neither of them would even think about calling here, much less coming over. I wished one or the both of them would though. A little accident on the balcony and there would be one less thing in life to worry about as soon as the body hit the pavement below.  
  
But that didn't happen. What did happen was a lot of quiet from Kayla. She didn't want to eat or go anywhere or do anything. She slept most of the time and that was really worrying Jhondie. Kay begged that the cops not be called. They would just think that she got what she deserved. And then everyone at school would find out and think she was a big slut. She was scared that was already going to happen. Jhondie reminded her that most of the kids on the tape didn't go to school with her and from the condition they were in at the party, it was doubtful most of them would remember what happened anyways. I think that helped a little, but not much.  
  
We both knew that the only thing that would help was time. Kayla was dealing with knowing that this was the consequence of her own actions. She had been very lucky this time. Next time, the cops might not show up at a crucial moment. She was humiliated and scared and it was impossible to know what was really going through her head. I knew she must feel like her whole world had fallen apart, but there wasn't a way to tell her that she still had her family at least.  
  
Jhondie didn't tell their mother either. Mrs. Harris came home on Monday, all full of smiles and good cheer. Her presentation had gone smashingly well. She knew something was wrong with Kayla but Jhondie told her that Kay found out that her boyfriend messed around with some girl at a party. Details weren't needed. Jhondie told her mother that she had already given Kay the "see what a jerk he was" speech, so the kid didn't need to hear it again. Mrs. Harris felt bad that Jhondie had to deal with such drama while she was gone. Jhondie just smiled. Her mother would never know what level the drama had reached.  
  
I personally had no idea how to help on this one. It wasn't something that a guy really could help with except be there if Jhondie needed to talk. I mean, talking to Kay about a hangover, I could do, but this was totally alien territory. It seemed the wisest course of action was to let Jhondie deal with it however she saw fit.  
  
I had been pretty busy myself anyways. That next week had me running about insanely, putting the finishing touches on the final project for one of my classes and making other plans. Our anniversary was a week away and I had a lot to do to get everything set up for it. It was a crazy, hectic week and I didn't think I had five minutes to breathe the whole time. It was like my whole future was resting on what was going to happen over the next fourteen days or so.  
  
I didn't see Jhondie much that week either. She had come over once that week because of her splits that day. She had a class in the morning and then two in the late afternoon. My place was much closer so she would come over and either study or relax or whatever she wanted. A couple of times when she knew I was going to be coming home while she was there I had walked in to find her already undressed and waiting for me. That almost sucks in a way because any plans I had for those hours would be right out the nearest window. Oddly enough, I never complained about it though.  
  
But the one day she did come over, I came home to find her at the computer looking up information on troubled kids and their psychology. She also had a couple of sites open about rape counseling. She told me that she didn't know if things were getting better or worse at her house. Kay wasn't being as outwardly rebellious, but that didn't mean she wasn't still having problems. I felt bad for all of them, I really did. I told her to let me know if there was anything that I could do, but I couldn't think of anything I could really do for the situation.  
  
Later, I wondered how things would have gone had two small incidents not occurred. At the time I thought it was more annoying than anything. I didn't have time for it but life doesn't slow down just because you don't have time. The first thing was that Dad's car broke. I'm far from a mechanic so I have no idea what it was. It wasn't too major though. It was only going to require a day to get it taken care of, but Dad had an early morning meeting, so he made me an offer that I flat out couldn't refuse.  
  
I dropped off my car the night before and he got some reservations for me. His ex-girlfriend, Jackie the chef, worked at this extremely upscale restaurant on the beach. It was one of those places where you practically have to have a credit check before they'll think about letting you through their hallowed doors. Not that they were filled to capacity every night, but they only wanted the right sort of people to enter. One would think that type of place would have crashed and burned in a post-Pulse society, but there were enough people with money that wanted to feel exclusive at all times. They wanted to remember that they were better than the average.  
  
Granted, I should have been morally opposed to going to a place like that, but the point was that Dad called Jackie and she got me reservations for me and Jhondie's anniversary. Dad and Jackie were still friends so I wasn't worried about her poisoning us out of revenge on Dad or anything like that. This was just a perfect, quiet place that would cater to all of the special arrangements that I had in mind. Also, the place wasn't too far from where Jhondie and I had first kissed. I thought about it, and decided that we would have dinner and then go for a walk down the beach and then I would pull out the ring. That would be perfect. So long as I didn't vomit, that was going to be absolutely perfect. God, even thinking about it was making me break out into a sweat.  
  
The second thing that happened was that I got a lead on an airport that should have been closed but planes were still landing there. Dink hadn't come up with anything yet to say for sure if that was the place, but it was worth checking out. The problem was that Dad had my transportation. I talked to Jhondie and she agreed to meet me at my place and we would check it out. I think she told her mother that she had to meet someone that might know something about one of her siblings, but I wasn't sure. I didn't think this was going to pan out really, so she wouldn't be terribly long at any rate.  
  
Jhondie picked me up late that night and we were off to what I was willing to bet would be yet another wild goose chase. Jhondie, however, was being too quiet. That worried me. We normally were talking about what we were going to do and the plans. I had given her the rundown on what might be there and normally we would be talking out scenarios. But she wasn't saying much, which meant tonight was not going to happen. Not that she would refuse to help, but there was no way I was going into something like this with my partner this distracted. Way too dangerous. If her mind wasn't going to be on the assignment, then we were going to have to let it ride until another day. The boss might come down here for the express purpose of strangling me, but that was less risky than going into something like this and not sure about your backup. Oh well. At least I would get to meet the guy when he showed up to execute me.  
  
"Pull over," I said, indicating an abandoned strip mall. It had boarded up windows that were covered with gang insignia. Probably not the best place to be pulled over for a little chat, but we really needed to get out whatever was bothering her.  
  
She made the turn into the lot and put it in park. "Meeting someone here?" she asked tonelessly.  
  
"Yeah," I replied. "My partner." She gave me a quizzical look. "You going to tell me what's wrong?"  
  
She shrugged. "It's just more of the usual. Kayla's not talking; Mom's going nuts and we have work to do for Eyes Only. I'm just...tired I think." She shook her head. "I'm fine, really I am. Okay, no more whining, we've got to do the Informant Net thing before the boss fires us, right?" She smiled, trying to make it seem like a joke as she put her hand on the gearshift.  
  
I put my hand over hers, preventing her from putting the car into drive. "Hey, the man's getting a lot of overtime from us for free. Now are you going to tell me what's really wrong or not?" I wrapped my arm around her and she rested her head on my shoulder.  
  
"I think it was a mistake not telling Mom what happened while she was gone," Jhondie finally said. "She'd know what to do if she knew what happened. Mom always knows what to do." She sighed. "I thought it would be easier for Kayla to deal if she didn't have to worry about getting punished. So I let it go. And I really think that was the worst thing I could have done."  
  
I could have told her that. But it didn't seem right to kick her when she was down. "Why don't you go ahead and talk to your mother then? She'll understand why you didn't earlier." Yeah, after a great deal of yelling and screaming, but at least it would be out.  
  
"That'll be the last straw then." Jhondie looked up at me, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Kay's losing it. She doesn't want to be here, she's afraid of what her friends are saying and doing about her now. She thinks everyone hates her now and I think...no, I know she's about half a step from running away." Jhondie sniffed. "And yeah, I know with all of your contacts we would find her, but Justin, even a few days out there is going to be too much. I know what it's like on the streets, and it's not pretty."  
  
I hadn't thought about that possibility. But Kay wouldn't run. She didn't have friends to run to like before. Well, they still thought they were her friends, but she was afraid of them now. Her boyfriend? Yeah, right. Maybe she thought she could just hide from the world out there. Hide from herself and what she had done and been through. There were a lot of kids out on the street like that and the end was very rarely happy for them.  
  
"She'd be gone a day and then be back," I said soothingly. "We both know that."  
  
"No we don't," Jhondie said angrily. "That girl is so much stronger than she gives herself credit for being. She thinks because of that one incident she's pathetic and weak. She's not. She would survive out there, but she has no idea what it's like."  
  
It suddenly hit me then. Jhondie was speaking from very painful experience. "She's not a little girl," I reminded her. "And she wouldn't be afraid to go to a shelter or something. Nobody's going to turn her into Manticore if she goes to a soup kitchen for a meal."  
  
Jhondie snorted. "You know why I never changed my name?" she asked from out of the blue. I blinked. "It's stupid for me to keep the same name they knew me by. I mean, yeah, I changed the spelling by adding the 'h' and changing the 'y' to 'ie' but still, it's an unusual name. I should be a Linda or a Melissa or something like that. But you know why I didn't?"  
  
We had never discussed this before. And I had no idea where it was coming from. I shook my head and her smile was hard and brittle. "Because when Mom asked me my name, it was the first time since the escape that anyone had wanted to know it. And my real name just popped out. Can you imagine that? This was before the Pulse, and here I was a little girl in Las Vegas and not one person bothered to ask who I was. I heard lots of 'hey kid, get out of there', when I was in an alley or dumpster or something like that, but nobody wanted to know what a small child was doing out there on the streets."  
  
She put her hands in her face for a moment, trying to keep it together. "The only time I was ever noticed was when someone was trying to get something from me. This teenage boy tried to beat me up so he could have a half-eaten hamburger I had found. I can count on one hand the number of times I slept from the time I got to Las Vegas until I started living with Mom and Dad. Twice when I did, I was woken up to find someone trying to rape me."  
  
Her words were coming out faster, practically tumbling over themselves. I was willing to bet that this was the first time she had told anyone the worst details of the time in between lives. I could see how in a way this period in her life was worse than Manticore. At least they had a purpose for what they were doing. This had been all new and chaotic and she had to deal with it completely alone. And I knew that alone was the worst thing for Jhondie to have to deal with. Pain wouldn't break her. Isolation did.  
  
"The first time it happened," she continued, "I had been in Vegas for a couple of weeks. I was so tired. I was still looking at the world as enemy forces and hiding and staying out of the light, waiting for Zack to show up and give further orders. I finally fell asleep in an alley and woke up when someone grabbed me. All I could smell was this stench of cheap wine and some guy was trying to undo the rope I was using to keep my pants on. He was on top of me and trying to kiss me and his breath was all puke and booze."  
  
I know I turned green at the thought. My arm tightened as I had to ask, "Jhon...he didn't...hurt you, did he?"  
  
She shook her head. "I panicked," she answered hollowly, following it with a bitter little laugh. "I literally threw him into the other side of the alley and took off. I had been so careful to hide and never show anything of myself, it was like I had forgotten what I could do. Shocked the hell out of him too. I wonder now if maybe that story ended up trickling to Lydecker somehow and that's how he found out there was an X-5 in Las Vegas."  
  
She sighed. "The second time was a couple of months later, I think. I know it's why I was so exhausted when Mom and Kay found me. I hadn't slept since it happened. There was a place that I liked to hide out during the day. Guy must have had people he paid to tell him who the youngest girls were on the street. I woke up to find this guy groping me. I hadn't even started to develop and that was still what he was going for. I jumped up and backed off and he told me not to get upset. He was going to give me ten bucks. I could tell he wasn't one the homeless guys. I yelled at him to leave me alone and he got pissed and said if I didn't take it I was going to be one sorry little girl. He made a grab for me and I ended up breaking his knee and running for it."  
  
Jhondie shuddered, hugging herself. "At least the first guy was willing to kiss me first. That's what Kay's heading into. And I have no idea how to stop her."  
  
"She's not gone yet," I said, trying to remind her that all wasn't lost. "And it might help for her to hear what you just told me. Right now she feels like she's the only person in the world that's made bad choices and ended up in a bad situation." Jhondie looked at me darkly for a moment. "Not that running was a bad decision," I amended quickly, "you guys just were ill-prepared for it when you did. I'm just saying that maybe instead of thinking that if Kayla hears about the bad choices in life, she'll think that she can make those same choices since you did, she might understand that everyone screws up and she can learn from your mistakes. And at the very least, she'll know that she's not alone. Maybe she just needs to be reminded that nobody's perfect."  
  
"Except for maybe you," Jhondie said with a tiny bit of a real smile, her fingers caressing the side of my face.  
  
"Perfect?" I replied incredulously. "Does the name Denise ring a bell to you when talking about seriously bad decisions? I started dating her because she let me feel her up at the movies on our first date. I stayed with her for two years at first because she let me sleep with her and then out of sheer mortal terror of the psycho. I can't say that I know what it's like to be molested, but I do know what it's like to be too afraid of someone to say no to them."  
  
Jhondie sighed and leaned back in her seat. "I'm just so scared for Kayla, you know? I love her so much. She's my sister no matter what the differences in our genes are and I don't want to see her hurting. There's got to be a way to make this better, but I just don't know anymore. I swear, sometimes I just want to shake her to death, but there's so much good in her and I still love her no matter what."  
  
Jhondie glanced at the clock and muttered a little curse. "We're not going to be there in time," she said softly. "I'm sorry..."  
  
"It's okay," I interrupted. "Eyes Only is going to have to understand that in our life, our family is going to come first."  
  
"Our family?" she questioned with a smile.  
  
I looked down for a minute, feeling a little embarrassed. Yes, I was already starting to think of Jhondie's family as my in-laws. "After two years, I feel a little brotherly towards Kayla," I finally said. "And she's part of your life and you're part of mine. So, yeah, our family."  
  
We just smiled for a long moment at each other until there was a tiny noise in a silence. Both of us froze as we recognized the sound of a muffled sob. The smiles slipped off as we both slowly turned to peer over the back of the seat.  
  
Two frightened, teary blue eyes peered up at us from the darkened floorboard. 


	17. Attitude

Jhondie  
  
I paced back and forth in Justin's living room. Three times I stopped in front of the couch to say something and then had to stop myself, and resume pacing. I couldn't talk to her. I couldn't look at her. My hands were itching to close around her throat. Justin was sitting, deceptively calm. Most people would think he was calm, but I could see the muscle in his jaw flexing. That was the number one sign he was pissed as hell. I finally stopped pacing, sure that I would be able to handle speaking to Kayla. But she got in there first.  
  
"So how long have you guys been working for Eyes Only?" she asked cheerfully.  
  
One would expect the explosion of temper to come from me following her happy little question. I was the hothead. I was the one that yelled and screamed and kicked tail to calm down. This time, my anger was like a lighter compared to a volcano.  
  
"EYES ONLY IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Justin suddenly yelled at her. Kayla shriveled backwards into her seat and I know my jaw landed somewhere on the floor. Justin was the calm rational one. And for once I might actually have to keep him from going nuts and hurting someone.  
  
He was suddenly on his feet and for a second I really thought I was going to have to physically keep him from hurting her. "It's not funny," he growled at her. "It's not funny and it sure as hell isn't a joke. There's more out there than you can imagine that depends on keeping the Informant Net secret."  
  
Kay looked offended. "Like Manticore isn't as big of a secret? I haven't breathed a word of it anyone."  
  
Justin snorted. "Yeah, but you know that if Manticore caught up to Jhondie, you'd be dead too. This wouldn't get you hurt at all. So what if a lot of people you don't know get hurt or killed if the Informant Net in LA falls. Hell, one of them might be able to trace directly to who Eyes Only really is. Isn't that just too cool," he sneered sarcastically.  
  
Kayla crossed her arms and glared at him. "It is cool," she snapped back. "It's cool you're trying to really help people instead of just sucking up. All my friends think he's really cool because he tells it like it is and not like people want to hear. And until you started being such a jerk, I was going to ask how I could help."  
  
"Like hell you're helping!" I blurted before Justin could say a word. "You're going to go to school and ballet and be a nice normal teenager. You are so not getting involved with this."  
  
"You did!" she protested.  
  
"Kayla, when I said I could dodge bullets, I wasn't joking," I reminded her. "And I know I can because I've been shot at more times than I can count. If you can jump a ten foot fence with a pack of guard dogs chasing you, then sure, help all you want, but until then, absolutely not!"  
  
She looked at Justin. "You're normal! You can't do all of that, and you're still alive."  
  
"I'm also twice your size," Justin said coldly. "I can handle myself against a grown man. All you could do is squirm and kick until he got bored and broke your skinny little neck."  
  
"But if Jhondie's there..."  
  
"Then I'm going to be doing what I need to do, so I can't be watching over you." I shook my head. "Kay, it's just too dangerous. Please, after everything you've been through lately, why would you deliberately put yourself in danger again?"  
  
That struck her hard. Maybe it was way too harsh of me to mention it, but she needed to get reminded that bad choices had a way of biting you on the butt. Her lower lip trembled a bit. "If I got caught breaking into some place," she said slowly, "then I would get a spanking from the police before getting let go. If you got caught, then they would take a picture of that distinguishing mark on your neck and then all hell would break loose when certain people got hold of it. After everything you've been through, why would you deliberately put yourself in danger again?"  
  
I had absolutely no way to respond to that. Seriously, none. There was just no way for me to explain to her why I did it and how it made me feel like I was atoning for the things I had done in my life. There were some things that I could never tell her. Justin must have seen that because he answered for me.  
  
"You know, Kay," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, "why Jhondie does as she does is of no concern to you. See, the Informant Net here is under me. Everything to and from Eyes Only comes through me. I'm the point man and the decisions are mine. And I say you're not a part of it."  
  
Her little nose went up in the air. "I beg to differ on that. I know. That makes me a part whether you like it or not." She should so not have used that snotty little tone with him. All of a sudden he rounded on her and was in her face in a second.  
  
"GOD DAMN IT KAYLA THIS IS NOT A GAME!" he shouted in her face. If the couch hadn't been so heavy, she might have knocked it backwards with how hard she jumped back. As it was, I realized I had moved closer to make sure he didn't really lose it on her. He must have realized he had her attention now because his voice lowered, but he still was right up on her.  
  
"This is not a game," he repeated. "I don't know how to get that through your selfish little mind. There are lots of lives at stake here. And since none of them are yours there's nothing to make you give a damn. The next time you go out and get drunk what's going to stop you from babbling to all of your friends that you know all about the next hack that's coming. I bet the little drug dealers you hang with would love to know all about the guy that reports on their real activities. Their boss's bosses would love to know how their secrets are coming out despite the cops that they've paid off. I bet Katrina will be so busy taking notes on that, she might forget to feel you up again."  
  
"Justin!" I squeaked, trying to say more, but not able to get it out. I had seen him rough before with street punks. I had never, once, seen him like this with anyone he really knew.  
  
He straightened up and looked at me angrily. "Don't even," he snapped. "It's about time someone said it. And don't even think it's the same as you. You were forced into that situation. She put herself there because it seemed like fun at the time." He glared down at Kayla who was shrinking into the couch. "When you make your bed with filth, don't whine when you get dirty."  
  
Kayla glared at him, battle lights glinting in her eyes. She didn't get a chance to go on the offense. "Oh, are you going to threaten me now?" he growled, the edges of his mouth arcing into a cruel smile. "Think you can scare me into begging and pleading?" He took on a falsetto mocking. "Oh Kayla, please don't tell anyone! You can come along. It'll be *so* much fun and then we can talk about it to all of our friends." He blew out a breath and took back his normal voice. Well, normal plus pissed as hell. "Get real, kid. That's not the way it is. You're playing with things you can't possibly even begin to comprehend. You want to be a grownup? Here's your first rule of being a grownup. When someone tells you to keep your damn mouth shut, you don't think about how cool it would be to tell the world. You keep your damn mouth shut."  
  
Justin stopped talking and just glared at her. I couldn't say a word. Kayla actually used wisdom for once and kept all sarcastic comments to herself. I was stunned. I mean, absolutely stunned. Here was someone that had always been so gentle with me and the only shows of temper I had ever really seen from him were because of an injustice in some way. Holy crap. That was all I could think right then. Holy crap.  
  
Justin looked at me. "You figure out how to keep her quiet," he said, his words coming out more like a threat. I thought he was going to say something else, but I think he realized then that he was on the verge of really losing it. He turned on his heel and walked out the front door, slamming it hard.  
  
Both Kayla and I let out a breath. "No wonder you two get along so well!" she burst out. "You both are total jerks when you think you're being offended." She made a little noise to show her annoyance. "God, I said I wanted to help and he totally freaks. What gives with that?" She looked down, her face tragic. "And he didn't have to say all that other stuff to me. I know I messed up. Don't have to rub my nose in it."  
  
"Kayla," I groaned, sitting heavily on the armrest. "There are two things that are inviolate to him. The people he cares about and then there's Eyes Only and the work he does for the Informant Net. He doesn't want you involved because he knows how dangerous it is."  
  
"But..." she tried to protest.  
  
"But, nothing!" I interrupted. "You're not going into the line of fire. Here's the deal, my darling little sister. Tonight, we tell Mom that you wanted to talk about stuff about boys and breaking up and she's going to get warm fuzzies that we're acting like sisters again. So we went for a drive and all is well. You never, ever mention to her or anyone what you heard or know and I'll forget that a certain party ever took place."  
  
"That's blackmail!" she pouted.  
  
I smirked. "Rule two to being a grownup. Negotiations don't always go your way."  
  
"Fine," she said. She looked up at me. "You know I wouldn't tell anyone, right? I mean, I get how intense the situation is."  
  
"I know," I replied. And I really thought that she did. "But Justin's worried and he has every right to be. This isn't something for someone you to play with. He doesn't want to see you get hurt."  
  
"But he'll let the love of his life risk hers?"  
  
I grinned. "I'm a little different. Not that his male ego will admit, but I've gotten him out of more bad situations than he's rescued me from. Kayla, in all seriousness, you would get hurt. He knows it and he knows you'll still charge full speed ahead and he's worried about you because of it. I have years of training in surveillance and combat skills. If you're really serious, then I'll teach you some stuff and we'll see how it goes, but in the meantime, you have to stay low, okay?"  
  
"Okay," she said grudgingly. There wasn't a chance in Hades that I was going to train her, but hey, it might keep her down long enough to get distracted by something else.  
  
I stood up, pulling my car keys out of my pocket. "I'm going to go talk to Justin," I informed her. "You go down to the car and stay there till I get back."  
  
"Don't trust me up here?"  
  
"I don't trust Justin if he sees you when we get back."  
  
She took the keys. "Fine. But if I have to sit there while you two do it, I'm going to be really pissed."  
  
I rolled my eyes and headed for the door, but Kayla stopped me before I could get out. "Do you think it was my fault?" she asked sadly.  
  
I took a deep breath. I hated loaded questions, I really did. "You made a big mistake going to the party," I replied. "But they didn't have the right to touch you. Nobody has that right without your permission. Nobody. And trust me, they haven't gotten away with it. Nobody on my ass kicking list gets off without a hurting." She shot me a grateful smile and I headed off into the night.  
  
Justin  
  
I like to think of myself as a levelheaded guy. I really do. I think before I speak and make sure what I am going to say is worth the consequences. Being a journalist is a study in cautious attacks. You had to know what you were getting into. It's all part of the game. Then why the hell had I unloaded on Kayla like that?  
  
I'm not saying she didn't need it. Stupid kid needed a big dose of reality to hit her upside the head. I just didn't think it was going to come from me. I mean, one minute we're just sitting there and the next I was in her face snarling threats at her. It was just that happy little smile when she asked how long we had been working for the boss. Who the hell was she to ask about him? This was serious. It was dangerous. And it wasn't just me involved. Jhondie, my family, her family. There was a lot at stake now and it was all as strongly balanced as a house of cards. One breath from her and the whole thing was going to collapse.  
  
Now what? That's what I kept thinking as I paced down the darkened street. Now what was I supposed to do? I was in way too deep to just fold up and say that I couldn't do it anymore. How was I supposed to turn my back on everyone and everything that needed me? I had to keep up the work I was doing. And I knew that it needed to be kept low profile. That's why I moved out of my Dad's house. He could have still used my help with the twins, but the older they got, the more likely it was that they would find out what I was really doing keeping those weird hours. And now Kayla knew. God, might as well take out a billboard advertisement.  
  
As much as I hated to even think along those lines, the facts were that if Manticore found out about Jhondie being here, chances are only one person would get hurt: her. They would believe it that her family had no idea. They were trained in how to keep things secret like that. Minimal exposure. That would be the plan. But the Informant Net affected hundreds, maybe thousands of people. It had to be protected. The work Eyes Only did benefited the world, not just one tiny group of people in this world. And one young girl could bring the whole thing crashing down with one careless word. Damn her. Damn this whole situation.  
  
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I was completely taken off guard when hands reached out of an alley and jerked me into it, slamming me against the wall. I grabbed the wrist that was holding my arm and two things hit me. One, it was a very slim wrist and two, trying to move it was like trying to move a steel band that had been clamped to me. My eyes adjusted to the darkness in the alley and I realized who was holding me.  
  
"I don't know if I should be pissed off, freaked out, or just plain turned on," Jhondie greeted me. Most people would have wondered how she managed to pass me up and hide so that I wouldn't see her, but I didn't even think about that anymore. She just could. But that wasn't the point at the moment.  
  
"Terribly sorry," I said sarcastically. "But your darling sister could completely blow open what's taken me years to accomplish."  
  
Jhondie's eyes narrowed. "Yeah and we both know how you've done it all yourself and it means nothing to me." She let me go and stepped back. I wasn't about to apologize for what I had just said. Facts were facts. I was the one that had started building a network here in LA. I was still the one that finessed information out of people and set up detail work. She could flirt with Dink for extra info, but overall, she was the muscle. She was there to do the heavy work. I just backed her up on that. But when it came to the people work, I was the one handling it. And if the personal network fell apart, there wasn't going to be any heavy work left.  
  
"I know it's important to you," I said. "Don't try confusing the issue either. I've always been the one that deals with the contacts and informants. It's taken me a long time to get them to trust me. She starts talking and they're going to stop talking."  
  
Jhondie crossed her arms and just stared at me for a minute. Great. Now she was pissed. Kayla was pissed, Jhondie was pissed, nothing was getting done for Eyes Only that night, and I had my only morning class the next day. God, this night was just getting better and better. And why did I have this really weird feeling like I should say I was sorry for something? Times like this I really understood why so many men were gay.  
  
"She's not going to talk," Jhondie finally said coldly. "Since she doesn't want Mom to hear a word about the party, she knows it's in her best interest to keep quiet."  
  
"And that's going to last how long?" I asked just as coldly.  
  
Jhondie blinked. "Have you ever met my mother? Kayla can be thirty-five when this comes out and she'd still kill her."  
  
Damn her. How the hell did she manage to make me smile with that comment? I had every right to be pissed and she just had to make me smile. You can't fight with someone that's making you laugh. It's impossible. Irritating as hell and totally impossible. She smiled a little back at me. One day I was going to get mad at her and be able to stay mad for a while. But that wasn't going to be today obviously.  
  
Jhondie took my hand. "She really will be careful," she said softly. "Besides, I don't think she's going to be hanging around those kinds of friends for a while. They really did scare her with that party."  
  
"I know," I replied. "But I've never had to deal with someone just knowing like that. I chose you. And Dad...well, that's my father. I have no doubts that I can trust him. The only thing that I wouldn't tell him is about you and that's only because it's your right to decide when you think he should know."  
  
"It's a scary feeling," Jhondie said dryly. "Trust me, I know exactly how you feel." I smiled, remembering how we met. "You scared the bejeezus out of me," she added. "Not only were you a stranger, but you were a journalist as well and this was the story of a lifetime. But you kept to your word, and I know Kay will as well. Remember, at her age, her own skin is the most sacred thing of all. Keeping quiet is the only way of saving it."  
  
I put my arm around her shoulder and we started walking back towards my apartment building. "For the record," I said, "I also had the added incentive to keep quiet because you were hot and could sneak into my bedroom."  
  
Jhondie grinned up at me. "Oh really? You thought I was hot, huh? I thought we were just friends back then."  
  
"We were," I replied. "But I still thought you were totally hot." She laughed and I had to admit I was feeling better. Pissed, freaked or turned on, huh? Well, if it was the latter...damn it, Kayla was there. I knew that kid was always going to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
  
"Well, not that I would have ever admitted it then, but I thought you were on the cute side," Jhondie teased. I rolled my eyes and she grinned devilishly. "Then I saw you naked and you went more into the hot category. But then we were just going to be friends, so I couldn't say much."  
  
I blinked. "When did you..." I started to ask, but then it hit me and I know I blushed. Funny. She had seen me undressed plenty of times since we became intimately involved, but thinking about her seeing me like that when we first met and she thought I was stalking her or something was just embarrassing.  
  
"Lady, you are going to drive me crazy," I muttered, still feeling the flush in my cheeks. She just grinned back. It was strange. I knew full well that we should be arguing over Kayla right then and saying hurtful things to each other. Instead I had my arm around her and we were playfully teasing each other. And for the first time I wasn't nervous at the thought of our anniversary. I was looking forward to it. 


	18. One Perfect Night

Justin  
  
Reservations confirmed? Check. Car was full of gas? Check. Socks matched? Check. Shoes were on the right feet? Check. Dark gray suit was clean and wrinkle-free? Check. Tie matched? Check. No vomit on shoes as a result of nerves? Check!  
  
Dad was amused at how crazed I was that night. He had come over on some flimsy pretext, but I didn't say anything. It was an important night for him too I guess. It was a good thing because I couldn't get the stupid knot in the tie to come out right for anything. I was lucky I didn't slice my face off when I was shaving because I was shaking every time I thought about what was going to happen tonight.  
  
And there was that little edge of a doubt. What if she said no? There were lots of reasons for her to worry about being tied down. I had told her before that if she had to go I would leave with her. She knew that. But what if she worried that we might have a family and they would be in danger? That might be a deciding factor. If she said no...no matter how much the reasons made sense...I didn't think I would be able to handle it.  
  
No. I wasn't going to think on those lines. I was going to think about picking her up and taking her out to the restaurant. Jackie swore that everything I had asked for and arranged was all going to be in place. They were used to catering to specialty requests. Everything was going to be perfect. The first person that interrupted our perfect night was going to have the life choked out of them.  
  
"You got everything?" Dad asked.  
  
I mentally went over the list. "Everything's set and ready to go," I answered. "I even told the boss that I wasn't available tonight."  
  
Dad whistled. "You are serious," he said lightly. "You know what you're going to say?"  
  
I motioned towards some papers and index cards on my desk. "I made some notes," I muttered, working the knot on my tie for the third time. "I think there's a poem in there somewhere. I'm going to remind her that we've been through a lot, but we've managed, and we can make it work if we want. And then...um, I think the poem has something about the universe in it. Stars, that kind of thing. Some song lyrics and...and...some other really good stuff."  
  
Dad sighed and stood up. He brushed my hands away from where I was trying to turn my tie into a silk noose and actually got the stupid knot to come out right and the tie to be the right length at the same time. I could do that. I really could.  
  
"Son," he said, looking me right in the eye, "I know you're nervous. You've got every right to be. But this is something that can only really be done once. So here's some really good advice that a friend gave me right before I proposed to your mother. Leave all of the notes at home. What she wants to know is what's in your heart. That's what you need to tell her and save the song lyrics for your wedding day."  
  
I smiled. "Did you leave your notes at home?"  
  
He smiled in memory. "Well, no, but I didn't get the chance to read them. I proposed to her on the Fourth of July. I was planning on waiting until the end of the fireworks, but some kid had a bottle rocket and it went into the crowd and set my pants on fire. So my notes were burned to a crisp and we're in the emergency room getting the burns treated and your mom finds the ring box in my other pocket."  
  
I laughed. Sometimes my parents reminded me so much of Jhondie and me. We just weren't going to have a tragic ending. More like dying in our nineties within minutes of each other. That sounded much better to me. Still, you had to admit those two had packed a lot of living into a very short time. No wonder the thought of being tied down to one person didn't scare me. I had seen how happy my parents were together. If I had that in my life, then I wouldn't care if I were successful in my career or much else really. There wasn't much else that would matter more.  
  
I glanced at my watch. "I better get going," I said. "Thanks for the advice." I picked up my notes. "But I might want to review a little before the big meeting."  
  
He smiled knowingly. "Probably. You got everything you need though, right?"  
  
I double checked my reflection and thought over it all again. "I'm ready."  
  
Dad laughed and held up a small black velvet box. "You sure you got everything you need?" he teased. I grabbed the ring box and rolled my eyes at him. "Have a good night son. And enjoy, okay? This is supposed to be a joyous occasion for you as well."  
  
I just shot him a grin and headed out the door. I tried not to think on the way over there. Everything was going to be perfect. Not even Kayla could spoil the moment when I got there. I don't know what Jhondie had said to her when they got home, but she had forgiven me for yelling at her and was actually being nice. Jhondie told me that her mother said their heart-to-heart must have done some good because she had noticed a definite improvement in Kayla's attitude lately. This suited me all the more because if it kept up then I was going to mention to Jhondie that her mother really didn't need her living there anymore, and I had this unused half of a bed that was going to waste.  
  
Mrs. Harris let me in when I got over to their house. "You look nice tonight," she said with a conspiratorial grin. "Certainly is a special anniversary for you two, huh?" I grinned back. A few days ago, well, mostly prompted by Dad, I called her and asked if I could talk to her privately. I know, really old fashioned, but hey, Dad just said when a young man wanted to marry my daughter, I would understand what the deal was. Anyways, I told her my full intentions and asked for her blessing on it. She had smiled tearfully and told me of course I had her blessings. She was thrilled that Jhondie had found someone that knew all about her past and loved her no matter what. She wanted to see her daughter happy, and I made Jhondie happy.  
  
"For some reason, I just wanted tonight to be special," I replied as I walked into the house.  
  
There were some noises from upstairs and then Jhondie came floating down. The moment I saw her, my heart almost stopped beating. Jhondie was always beautiful to me. But sometimes when she wanted to, she would let out all the stops and suddenly she went from mere beautiful to this exquisite angel that I couldn't believe was real. Her hair was pulled back on the sides and the two pieces were twisted together in the middle in some fancy knot- like thing, the rest of her hair tumbling down her back in soft curls.  
  
And then there was her dress. I swear, no straight man could see a woman in a dress like that and not have to make a conscious effort to keep drooling. Her left shoulder was bare, the shimmery blue-green material sweeping across her breasts and loosely across her back, meeting up at her right shoulder with just a thin tie keeping it together. One little tug and she would be bare to the waist. The right side had material forming a long sleeve, but it just had a tie at the elbow to keep if from being two separate pieces. I could only stare at her and marvel that this specimen of feminine beauty was actually willing to be with me.  
  
"What do you think?" she asked, twirling around. The dress was knee-length and rather clingy so it didn't spin out. Instead I got to see the best curves I had ever seen in my life and honestly I was about two seconds from canceling all plans and dragging her back to my place right then and there.  
  
"I think I'm in trouble," I replied softly. She grinned at me and then winked.  
  
"Depends on what these surprise plans of yours really are," she replied.  
  
I caught her around the waist and pulled her close to me, not caring that we had an audience. The last time I had seen her this dressed up I was taking her to her senior prom. And I should have done this then. I brushed my lips against hers softly. "You're beautiful," I whispered.  
  
Our eyes met and what she felt was undeniably expressed without a single word needing to be said. I almost, almost proposed right then and there. Had I been able to delicately fish out any of my notes from the inner pocket of my jacket, I might have. But that would have entailed letting her go and I knew that was the one thing I would never do.  
  
Jhondie  
  
Fashions are a wonderful thing. If you keep your clothes for about twenty years, they're suddenly in style again. And the look on Justin's face when he saw me made all the time I had been in the attic digging through Mom's old clothes totally worth it. I fell in love with this dress when I found it and after some very patient delicate cleaning, it looked brand-new once more. With some very minor alterations, it could have been made for me I know, old dress, yuck, but hey, this was a post-Pulse society. We were okay between Dad's insurance and Mom's job, but not go out and blow a ton of money on a dress okay. And I didn't want to always be spending Justin's money either. Even if it was old, it was stunning anyways. And all of the effort was totally worth it when Justin smiled at me and then whispered how beautiful I was.  
  
How could I not feel beautiful when a man like him was expressing his admiration for me? And there was the little fact that he looked totally divine himself. Black wasn't really his color with his dark hair. It didn't work right. But he looked awesome in gray. He didn't much like it I think, but I had said before how much I liked seeing him in that particular suit and there he was wearing it.  
  
I felt like a total princess that night from the moment he opened the car door for me. We didn't talk too much on the way, mostly just soft looks and smiles and the occasional kisses at red lights. I had to be careful about the kisses though. The majority of this dress was being held together with two ties. One out of hand kiss and Justin had to stop and start muttering over and over "have to make the reservations have to make the reservations". I laughed and he glared at me before smiling and promising me that I was going to pay later.  
  
I honestly had no idea where we were going until it became obvious we were heading to the beach. Our first anniversary we had a picnic in a park and he pushed me on the swings and it was so playfully delightful. This time I had a feeling it was going to be quite a bit more adult, but I had no doubts that it was going to be just as wonderful as our first. And then we pulled up in front of the restaurant and my jaw dropped. Yeah, I had heard of this place, but I never thought I would be able to get into it. It had nothing to do with money. If you didn't have the status, you weren't in. Okay, I should have morally objected, blah blah, but from what I had heard, once you go, it was an experience you'll never forget. They had no idea how right they were.  
  
The restaurant was beautiful. I had no idea what else Justin was planning for our anniversary. I couldn't imagine what could top this. It just amazed me that two years ago tonight I was stealing back jewelry for Cheryl and how that had changed my life forever. Instead of being shot at, I was being escorted by a wonderful man into an elegant place with a large glass wall so that we could see the ocean as we dined. A lot of glass and dark wood and brass was used in the restaurant to make the different areas seem separate so that the place had a much more intimate feel.  
  
It was so sweet for Justin to take me to the beach. Not too far from here was where we had our first kiss. It was still stunning to me how much Justin had brought into my life. He was my stability. I could be strong, but I needed him to keep me balanced. We were so right together that amazed me sometimes to think that there was a time that we didn't even know each other. It was enough to make me believe in past lives. Somehow, someway, we must have known each other long before we had met.  
  
We were taken to a table near the large window. The place wasn't busy yet, so there was plenty of space between us and the other patrons. Fine by me. This was so wonderful to simply be together and celebrate the two best years of my life. And Justin was being so courtly, pulling out my chair for me to sit down, all soft smiles and sweet words. He seemed a little nervous though. I had a feeling he was planning something really spectacular for later on. I thought about trying to get it out of him, but why? I'd find out soon enough and he was enjoying trying to be playfully secretive.  
  
I did have a bit of a hint that Justin had made some plans in advance. Our table was the only one with a bouquet of perfect fire and ice roses on it. And then we had barely sat down when a waiter came up and presented us with a bottle of champagne, perfectly chilled and a rather exceptional vintage. The waiter opened the bottle expertly, keeping it from foaming up, poured us each a glass and then discretely departed.  
  
I grinned. "They must have a few mind readers on staff here," I teased. "They don't even have to offer the wine list."  
  
Justin smiled back and lifted his glass. "Happy Anniversary, cariña," he said softly. Our glasses touched and both of us took a sip of the sparkling liquid.  
  
"You certainly know how to impress a girl," I said, feeling silly that I couldn't stop smiling.  
  
He shrugged lightly. "I just thought that we deserved one night of absolute perfection."  
  
"I have to say this is a pretty good start. But aren't you afraid you're going to spoil me?"  
  
His grin widened. "Baby, I haven't even started." The sensual undertone to his words made me shiver. "I was thinking," he added, "that maybe after dinner you'd like to go for a walk down the beach. It's a little noisy here, but further down is really quiet."  
  
"Sounds...perfect." Walk, yeah, right. I knew what the boy was up to. But how could I complain? Our first kiss was on the beach and I couldn't think of anything more romantic than making love there. I swear, he must have been planning this forever. Despite all the craziness of the last month or so, he had still taken the time to plan all of this. I didn't know what I had done to deserve a man like this, but I wasn't going to complain. If this were a cosmic reward for the first decade of my life, then I would have endured it ten times over for the sheer happiness of this moment.  
  
I reached across the table. "Thank you," I said softly, taking his hand.  
  
He smiled. "You're welcome. For what?"  
  
"For being you," I replied. "I've put you through the wringer lately, but you've stuck with me when you should have dumped me and gotten on with your life. Instead of saying goodbye, you brought me back to life. You are the best thing in my life and I can't imagine ever trying to live without you near me always."  
  
Maybe it was a trick of the light, but I thought for a moment his eyes watered slightly. He kissed my fingertips. "I know exactly how you feel," he said quietly. "That's why I wanted tonight to be special. So many ups and downs lately, but I want you to know that you will always be my heart."  
  
We smiled at each other over the candle flame as a waiter approached with the first course. We didn't even have to order dinner. They just seemed to magically know what we liked and how we liked it prepared. I wasn't sure what half of what I ate was, but it tasted wonderful anyways. Actually, it probably wouldn't have been half as good if I knew what I was putting in my mouth, so I didn't think on it too much and just enjoyed the meal and the company. We talked about the future and the MCAT test that I had registered for. Justin's graduation was set and we talked about going to Mexico for a little vacation this summer. Apparently Nana had talked about me, and the family now wanted to meet me. Despite that, it still sounded like fun even though I would have to have the barcode removed before we left.  
  
Dinner was a slow affair, giving us plenty of time together. The service was very discreet, taking care of their appointed tasks, but not intruding any more than needed. Justin's accountants were going to have a heart attack with what he must have spent on this night, but Justin didn't seem worried in the slightest. It was just sheer perfection to be all dressed up and having this evening together. I was still wondering what he was planning though for later. Maybe he had gotten us a hotel suite out here. That's what the walk on the beach was for. We'd walk to it and he'd surprise me then with a Jacuzzi suite that faced out over the ocean.  
  
I didn't let him know that I had guessed on his plans. I was still going to gasp and laugh and tell him I had no idea. I couldn't think of anything short of a natural disaster or a Manticore invasion that could possibly spoil this night for us.  
  
And that was when Justin's cell phone rang.  
  
He grabbed it, looking embarrassed that he forgot to turn it off. "I'm busy," he said roughly. Both of our families knew not to call tonight, so it had to be an informant, right?  
  
Wrong.  
  
He handed me the phone. "It's Kayla," he said softly, eyes full of concern. I took it gingerly. I swear, if she had been arrested again, I was going to leave her in jail until she was forty.  
  
"What?" I hissed.  
  
I could hear the grin in her voice as she named an old airport that had been taken out of service years ago. "Thought you might want to know that the delivery you two were concerned about just made it in," she added. I had to grab the edge of the table to keep from falling out of my seat.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" I gasped. "And how did you get there?" Justin was looking at me expectantly. I put my hand over the receiver. "She found tonight's delivery that the boss was worried about," I explained. His eyebrows shot into his hairline as his jaw hit the table.  
  
"I told you I wanted to help," she pouted. "So I told Kat that if she didn't drive me, I'd use that tape to have her arrested and stuff." Her voice lowered and she giggled. "I told her there were still drugs in there and the tape showed her selling stuff. She almost wet herself since she's still on parole. I even made her give me her cell phone."  
  
"Kayla, get out of there right now," I ordered. "Don't argue with me on this. Just get in the car and go."  
  
"But..."  
  
"No buts!" I snapped furiously. "These are real bad guys with real guns. They would rather see you dead than their secret get out." I was starting to sweat. God, this was real and she was treating it like some action movie.  
  
"Jhondie," she started, but her words were cut off with a short scream. There was the sound of a scuffle, indignant squeals.  
  
"Kayla," I called into the phone, already wishing I hadn't eaten anything. My stomach was churning, threatening to throw up everything in there. "Kayla!" I said, my volume increasing.  
  
More background noise. Something slamming on metal. A few curses and then a crunching sound and the line went dead.  
  
I looked up at Justin, dazed. "Someone grabbed her," I whispered.  
  
He didn't hesitate. He stood quickly, and wiped his mouth, tossing the napkin down. "Then it's a good thing we always have spare clothes in the car," he said. I got to my feet, still feeling numb as we left the restaurant quickly. We knew where they had been and that was a start. And if any one had dared to hurt her...this time there wasn't going to be clemency for them. I wasn't going to lose another sister. And they were going to learn that with much pain and bloodshed.  
  
Teenagers. Good lesson for the future. Hide them in a closet at thirteen and don't let them out until they are twenty. And then maybe you could get one perfect night. 


	19. Flyboy

Justin  
  
Did I say I wasn't going to kill Kayla? I lied. When I noticed the time and realized that at that moment I should be proposing to Jhondie instead of peering through a chain link fence at an abandoned airport, I knew then I was going to choke Kayla to death. With a smile on my lips. I should have been watching starlight making a center diamond glitter with a thousand prisms of light. Instead we had slipped past a burnt hulk of a car, some embers still glowing inside of the remains. The license plate was still partially readable. GR8 L was uncharred. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Katrina was really going to be pissed she had ever got caught on that tape with Kayla.  
  
Later, I thought it was kind of funny how adept we had gotten at changing clothes in a moving vehicle. Jhondie changed first and then held the wheel so that I could take care of matters. Changing your shirt is easy. Managing to change from slacks into jeans without taking a foot off the accelerator takes some serious practice. I normally made some flirtatious comment towards Jhondie when she was half-naked in my car, but this time, I couldn't think of anything but how much I wanted to beat the holy hell out of that little brat we were off to save.  
  
"Some people in the building," Jhondie whispered. The airport was small, just one runway and an admin building next to a hanger that could probably hold maybe two of the size planes like the one on the runway. We had parked about half a mile away and jogged up. Too bad Kayla hadn't thought of doing that. Or maybe she should have just driven up and honked the horn a few times. Then she wouldn't have had time to call and interrupt us before she got caught.  
  
"Can you see Kayla?" I asked. Since we were here, I guessed that we might as well get the kids back.  
  
"No, three men though. They look like they're arguing about something."  
  
Probably debating on if they should kill Kay and Kat. I totally understood how they felt, I really did. I looked up at the eight-foot fence. "Shouldn't be a problem to get in. Can you see in the plane?"  
  
She shook her head. "Not enough. There's a guy in the cockpit, probably a couple more in the plane guarding the shipment."  
  
"Then let's see if we can get the three in the building down before they can call for help." She nodded, gathering herself in a crouch and then launching up in a smooth coil of muscle. It really sucked to have to slowly climb a fence so that you don't make noise, and your girlfriend is over it in literally a single bound without so much as making a pebble scrape on the other side. I slipped over the top of the fence and dropped to the ground below. And I would like to point out that the few times I had seen Jhondie actually climb a fence, I was much quieter than she was.  
  
We stayed low, moving around the perimeter to keep in the shadows. Jhondie suddenly stopped, both of us dropping to the ground. The front door opened and two of the men exited. We were closer now and the wind was blowing right so that we could hear their words. One of the guys said he still wanted the usual rates for those two. The other one protested that they weren't shipped like the others. The first one shrugged and then said pointedly that with more weight, calculations should be redone. Could take some time. Might not make the connector. The other man glared at him and then offered seventy-five percent. The first guy smiled and said that would work.  
  
Blood. They were shipping blood, right? That's what the boss had said. That's what we were expecting. That's when I had a sudden epiphany. What was broadcasted was always right, but sometimes even Eyes Only got bad information and spread it to his operatives. They had two. Two young girls, that is. Others. As in other young girls. Yeah, they were shipping blood all right. It was just still in the packaging.  
  
"It's a white slavery ring," I muttered. "We got to stop that plane."  
  
The third man exited the building and the first one made a gesture. The planes engines cranked into life. And that was when we saw Kayla and Katrina coming out, their wrists bound in front of their bodies. A door on the side of the plane opened and a man looked out.  
  
"Hurry it up!" he shouted over the rising whine of the engines. "Mr. Bronck said these bitches better be out of the country tonight!"  
  
Jhondie jerked and I had to grab her fast before she bolted into the middle of that mess. "No," I hissed. "Go around the building. I'll go around the plane. We'll take them from the middle."  
  
"My sister..." she started to say, desperation in her voice.  
  
"Is going to get taken anyways if you get killed trying to save her," I broke in. "What would you do if you didn't know them?"  
  
Jhondie hesitated for a second. "See you in the middle." That's my girl.  
  
Both of us went into motion. There was a small hedging on the far side that I went behind and moved to the other side of the plane, keeping low while Jhondie used her incredible speed to get around the building so fast they didn't even notice she was there. The noise from the engines was blocking any little sounds we were making and I guessed the pilots weren't going to turn on any lights until they were ready to take off. Worked for me.  
  
Jhondie and I had done this move plenty of times before to the point that there was no need to discuss what we were going to do. We would circle and then I would come out first. They would focus on me and then Jhondie would nail them from the rear. With her speed and strength they wouldn't be able to get a shot off before she was done with them. That's the way it always worked. It was a good solid plan. It worked great. That night I learned it only worked when dealing with human beings. When you add teenagers to the mix, it all goes to hell in an instant.  
  
The girls were mostly to the plane by the time Jhondie and I could get into position. I had swept out past the plane and was on the tarmac. I didn't like being so exposed, but I was dressed in dark clothes and all of the focus was on what was happening between the building and the plane. It was safe enough for me I supposed, but then even over the engines I heard Katrina suddenly scream out that they could go to hell, they blew up her car and she wasn't going anywhere with them. I could see the scene pretty well from underneath the plane and all I could think was the kid was one hell of a scrapper. Not very bright, but a scrapper.  
  
She kicked the guy that was closest to her square between the legs. The air whooshed out of him and he doubled over. That brought Kay to life and she kicked the guy holding her in the knee. She was a little thing, but I guess dance had been really giving her some strength because the guy collapsed instantly, screaming and grabbing his leg. Katrina jumped on her guy's back, her bound hands making a nice noose as she tried to strangle the life out of him. He fell back, landing on top of her and she went limp as her head hit the pavement. I could hear screaming from inside the plane and knew that an insurrection might be mounting.  
  
The guy that was in the plane suddenly fired several shots in the air. Kayla went still and the girls in the plane went quiet. Katrina's victim got up and dragged the dazed girl to her feet. Jhondie and I were both frozen. Anything happen now and they were poised to shoot everything and get a fresh load that wasn't a bunch of trouble.  
  
"My knee!" the guy on the ground screamed. "Bitch broke my knee!"  
  
The guy in the plane sneered at him and then fired three more shots at his now ex-partner. The screaming stopped and that took the remaining fight out of both Kayla and Katrina. "Get them in!" he shouted from the top of the stairs. "These two need a lesson. I think they're just right for the Malaysian patron." Whatever that meant, the other two guys thought it was amusing.  
  
I moved in closer. The girls were at the stairs. That plane was not going to take off. Period. It would be easy enough for Jhondie to save Kayla at this point and the plane would be ordered to take off rather than waste anymore time trying to get these two little bits of trouble. But there was a load of other girls on board and they were not going to be sacrificed. I moved in fast, coming around the underside of the plane and Jhondie had kept to procedure and watched for my move rather than focusing on her sister.  
  
As soon as I went under the plane to come out on the side facing the building, Jhondie went into motion. She came out; grabbing the guy that was closest to her and in general making him wish he had never gotten out of bed that morning. The guy at the top of the stairs grabbed the two girls and yanked them in, shouting to the pilot to take off now. I raced up the stairs, hearing several gunshots from outside, but I had to trust that Jhondie was still Jhondie. She could dance around flying bullets and them make the shooter regret every single one of them.  
  
The guy in the plane was shouting orders, his back to me when I grabbed him. The look on his face would have been comical had the situation not been so dire. He didn't have a moment to react as my fist made contact with his face. I realized the pilot wasn't looking back and just following orders as I shouted to lower the stairs that had started to rise when the pilot began to taxi out. He hit the descend button or whatever it was and then turned to question.  
  
I wasn't sure how I might have been able to handle both of them, especially when the pilot pulled out a gun. I had the other guy's gun. We both pointed in a Mexican standoff. Crap. The other guy was starting to come to a little. Kat was near him and snarled something incomprehensible at him. She shoved him as hard as she could and he suddenly rolled out of the open door and down the steps.  
  
"Stop the plane!" I shouted.  
  
"I'll shoot them!" he threatened. "You just out or they all die!" We were still moving forward, gaining speed.  
  
"You'll only get one or two before I take you out," I snapped back.  
  
He smirked. "That's more than your boss will allow," he sneered. Oh, that was not a good thing to hear. I don't know how things would have ended if I had been by myself. Probably with a couple of injured or dead girls. But the pilot had no idea that my backup put to shame anything that he might have had to deal with in Seattle.  
  
There was a thump on the nose of the plane, making it dip down, startling everyone, including the pilot. He looked forward to see what happened and was not prepared for a fist to come flying through the windshield, slamming into his stunned face. He still had one hand on the controls and when he was thrown backwards, the controls pulled back and lifted us into the air. The plane immediately started angling towards the left, knocking Jhondie off balance and she slid off of the side. I didn't think we could be that far up to hurt her in a fall, but when Kay screamed out that Jhondie was on the stairs, I still felt better. I wasn't sure how she pulled off that move, but there was the little problem with the whole, we're still going up thing to deal with.  
  
I jumped into the co-pilot's seat next to the unconscious pilot. Okay, time to remember that game I used to play, Flight Simulator. Except now there were lots of buttons and knobs and none of them were conveniently labeled "land" for me. There wasn't a retry button either. Crap. I didn't know it then, but all planes are engineered around a guiding principle of inherent stability. They want to fly straight and level. All I needed to do was put the controls horizontal and the plane would level itself out. Good thing to have known then. Unfortunately, I didn't.  
  
I knew we were climbing and needed to turn around. I had controls in hand and pedals at my feet. I grabbed the controls and turned the plane to the left while pressing the left pedal, hoping that one of them would make the plane turn around. It did. Just not that nice smooth turn that is seen in normal flight. No, this was a nice sharp bank and suddenly the back of the plane was a chorus of screaming girls. Crap.  
  
"Katrina!" Kay's voice cut through the shrieks of the other girls and I glanced back to see Jhondie hanging half out of the open door, Kayla and another girl holding her legs.  
  
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STRAIGHTEN THE PLANE!" Jhondie shouted at me. My foot came off of the pedal and the bank ended, going back into the soft curve I wanted. Jhondie jerked back, hauling Katrina back into the plane from where she had slid out of the open door. Diving after her must have been more instinct than thought, but still, I had a little problem. We needed to go back down.  
  
The pilot had turned on the light in the front of the plane and the landing gear was still down. Those were the two things that saved us that night because I had no clue what I was doing. The only thing I knew for sure was the button that the pilot had pushed to make the stairs go up and down. Now that Jhondie was in the plane, I pressed it and felt a small amount of relief when the stairs started to move. Now all that was needed was a nice landing and we would be fine. Sure. No problem. I pushed the controls forward and the plane started angling down. I had seen enough movies to know that I needed to aim for the yellow line down the center of the runway. They just never said what a pain it was to get into that position. We were swinging to the left and the right until I thought I was going to get airsick. Jhondie stumbled up to me, but one glance at her face said that she had no idea how to get this thing down any better than I did. Guess piloting was advanced Manticore training. One more time, crap.  
  
I remembered something from that game I used to lose all of the time that one of the knob things had to be pulled out to slow down enough to land. Silver or orange? The silver one was closer so I pulled back on it tentatively, almost cheering when the RPM's fell and the speed began to decrease. The ground was rushing up in front of us and it was do or die time. Bad phrasing, I know, but that's very accurate to what was going to happen.  
  
"Hold on to something back there!" I shouted. Jhondie grabbed onto the pilot's chair and the wheels touched, jarring us violently and bouncing back into the air as I fought with the controls. Planes inherently want to get in the air and stay there. That's the way they are built and at the time I didn't know what the phrase "trimmed for takeoff meant". This plane was ready to stay up and I had to shove the controls down, forcing us to stay down as we bounced down the runway to a symphony of screaming young girls.  
  
"Fence!" Jhondie almost squeaked out. "Fence ahead! Justin, stop this thing!"  
  
Easy for her to say. Nothing on this thing said, "push to stop". I yanked out the silver knob all the way, but that wasn't going to slow us down in time. On my flight simulator game I had held down the control key while pressing 'B'. I didn't see a 'B' anywhere on this thing and God forbid a simple control key be present. Maybe on the ground pedals were different. I pushed the right one and was rewarded by a veer to the right and a fresh chorus of screams from the back. I let up on it quickly, trying to push the left one to compensate and it felt like the plane dipped roughly onto its right side. In absolute desperation I hit both pedals at the same time and an odd thing occurred. The top of the pedals dipped forward and I heard one of the most beautiful sounds on Earth: tires screeching as breaks were applied to them.  
  
The plane came to a halt. For a long minute there was just the sound of some light sobbing from the girls. I looked back into Jhondie's white face. "Any plans for the summer?" I asked lightly. She looked at me like I was nuts. "Want to learn how to fly a plane?"  
  
"I don't think I'm ever going to get on another one as long as I live," she practically whispered.  
  
I smiled weakly and then continued as if I hadn't heard her comment at all. "Good. But why don't we start next week?"  
  
Perfect. One day I was going to learn. Whoever had written the dictionary had gotten a few definitions so far wrong it just wasn't funny. 


	20. Breathe

Jhondie  
  
It was kind of weird dealing with the clean up for all of this. It had always been just bad guys that needed to be arrested. Now we had hostages and my sister. And Katrina. I had to say, it was worth it to see Katrina after everything was over and all of the girls were safely out of the plane. She had always been so cool and confident. Now she was shaking and so scared that she wasn't even hitting on me. How funny was that?  
  
The other girls were easy to handle. Justin called Eyes Only who said that he had just found out what the real cargo was but couldn't get to us. Two of his operatives in Seattle had been compromised trying to rescue another planeload of girls and they had to be saved before he could get the word out. No wonder the pilot on the plane knew that EO operatives would be the one coming after them. They were already working overtly there in Seattle. The boss thanked us for being able to get these girls out of the situation and said that he had a safe contact at the police department in Seattle that would call LAPD tonight and get good cops over here to make sure the girls got home. When I was fighting one of the guys outside of the plane, he tried to pull a badge on me and get me to put my hands on my head and give up. Can you believe that? Protect and serve. Yeah right. I hoped the boss knew for sure that his contact was good, because if anything happened to these kids again, someone was going to get hurt in a big way.  
  
I talked to the girls and basically told them that real cops were going to be here soon. The men that kidnapped them were fakes. But they couldn't say how they were rescued, just that there was a big fight and the plane had to get turned around. I hated to lie to them, but I said that if someone knew who rescued them for real, we'd get killed so we couldn't interfere again and they would be off to Southeast Asia once more. That got them about an inch from hysterics, so the point was well made. We'd wait for sirens and then be gone with the night.  
  
Speaking of hysterics, there was Katrina. Her and Kayla and Justin were next to the building, a little apart from the other girls. Kayla was all grins like this was the best day of her life. Kat on the other hand was sitting on the ground, shaking and babbling hysterically. She wasn't sobbing, but she was pale, jaw clinching, eyes huge and staring off into space. She looked up at the three of us standing there.  
  
"Oh my God," she gasped out. "I almost...I mean I totally fell out...oh, holy hell, all of us could have been killed and you...you're just standing there like it's no big deal! What is wrong with you people?"  
  
Kayla shrugged. "Well, it isn't a big deal to us," she replied back in her best big-shot tone. "I mean Kat, yeah you know how to throw and party and all that, but this is just the everyday stuff with us. I started hanging with you so I could have someone with a slower life than my sister has. If you can't handle it, it's cool."  
  
Kat was still too shaken up to reply. She fished in a pocket and pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. She looked at them desperately. "I'm smoking," she babbled. "Kay baby, you know me. I never smoke. Not even after sex. It's a stupid habit. I shouldn't be doing this but now I'm smoking. Oh, God." She tried to light the cigarette but her hand wouldn't stay still long enough to touch the flame to the end of the paper. In disgust she yanked it out of her mouth and threw it aside. "Hell with it. I've been meaning to quit anyways."  
  
Mr. Helpful perked up beside me. "Oh, by the way, your car is a total loss. I think the license plate might be salvageable, but other than that, it's just a melted pile of scrap. Sorry." It would have been nice to see Kat start wailing, but the explosion of temper was funny itself. She blamed Kayla for dragging her out there and God for inventing fire in the first place. We were amused. She was not. Kay glanced up at Justin and gave him a big smile. She wanted Kat repentant for what had happened and I could guarantee that Kat truly wished she had never met Kayla much less dragged her to that party and tried to get it on with her. Scratch Kat of the ass kicking list. Sometimes there were better ways to hurt someone.  
  
I caught the first sound of the sirens on the wind and the four of us scrambled to get out of there. I wasn't worried about the bad guys. They were all unconscious and locked in the building. One of the girls had the key and she wasn't about to let them out. The couple of windows were chicken-wire reinforced, so it was a nice neat little prison until LAPD could get there and question what they were doing shipping off pretty young teenage girls to brothels outside of the country. I had to wonder though if a single one would ever do jail time. How many girls had they disposed of like that and there wouldn't ever be a moment's punishment for them? I could tell Justin was thinking the same thing, but it all came down to the same answer. There wasn't anything we could do for those girls. Sometimes you really did have to save the world one person at a time.  
  
One person to save was my dear little sister from our mother. Mom had left her alone that night so she could meet a couple of friends that wanted to take her out and celebrate the governor discussing in a press conference how he was going to push for a new educational bill next year that had a lot of Mom's recommendations in it. Kat had come over unexpectedly and Kay had tried to make her leave. Kat scoffed at the tape and said it was just fooling around and besides she had heard about a real party that was going down at this airport. Apparently it was some secret deal and the only reason she knew about it was that one of her boyfriend's buyers would make the deal from that airport, but he had been shut out the last couple of days. There were lots of girls there; just the kind of party that Kat thought would be awesome. Kay thought it would be too, but not for the same reason. She was thinking about what she had heard us talk about.  
  
They had gotten to the airport and Kat tried to take off when she saw the guns. Kay responded that if they left, she was going to the cops with the tape. Got to love that kid sometimes. They had watched and realized that it wasn't a party, it was a kidnapping. That's when Kay called me and they had been caught. The guys had said they torched Kat's car, but she had been hoping they were lying. They weren't. And it was funny.  
  
But there was still the issue with Mom. I called Mom on her cell and said that Kayla was with me. See, her boyfriend had called and was going to come over and Kay got really upset and called me because she was scared of what would happen and Mom hadn't answered her phone. I waited a beat and then was relieved to hear Mom sigh and say she had left it in the car. She had a bad habit of doing that. Mom was a little upset that my evening had been messed up, but I reassured her that it was fine and Kay was fine. I was going to drop her off soon and then spend the night with Justin. Fine by her.  
  
We dropped off Kat at her place. Or at least someplace she said was hers. It didn't matter I guess. I think she was more or less eager to get away from us. I tried to give Kayla a lecture about why she better never do what she did again, but she got in before me and said that she didn't mean to get involved. She just happened to get something good and didn't want to bother us if it was just another party. She promised not to do that again since the guns really were scary, but she wasn't going to admit that in front of Kat. Good enough for me.  
  
I did notice that Justin was really quiet for the whole trip. If he was asked a direct question, he somewhat grunted a reply. The Zack attitude had better drop by the time we got home. It was still technically our anniversary and we had a little time to celebrate left. It was like he was stewing over something but didn't want to talk about it in front of the kids. That was fine, but it was hard to tell because he kept looking pissed occasionally and then sad. Why were the men in my life so perplexing?  
  
On the way back to his place, of course, yet another delay. The city was trying to do some rebuilding and the like, so they were repaving a few of the roads that desperately needed it. Now Justin really looked annoyed as we got detoured around the mess. I started to think about why he would be so upset. I mean, yeah, I was disappointed that we got interrupted, but come on. It wasn't that bad. Unless it was to him. Maybe he was thinking about us. About how things were always crazy when we were together. Even when we tried to have a nice normal night, it still went to hell. Maybe...maybe he knew that his career would always be crazy, so having a normal home life might be a better balance then, well, anything I could provide.  
  
I think my heart fell into my chest when Justin glanced at a street sign as we snaked around the construction. I could see it in his eyes that he had made a real decision and then all of a sudden he hit the accelerator and pulled out of the traffic and whipped down a side street. He made a couple of turns and then pulled up in front of an old dilapidated building, looking at me directly for the first time since we left the airport.  
  
"We need to talk," he said firmly.  
  
Justin  
  
All I said was that we needed to talk. I didn't know that was going to flip her out.  
  
"No!" she cried out, her eyes getting glazed with unshed tears. "You take that back right now."  
  
I blinked. "Jhondie, we really need..."  
  
"No we don't," she insisted. "Nothing good has ever come when it's prefixed with that phrase. So you take it back and then take me to your apartment and...and..." Her words broke off as she fought back a sob.  
  
What in God's name did she think I was going to say to her? Notes. Where were my notes? Buried in the trunk somewhere? I thought my jacket was in the back, but...crap...the ring had been pocketed, but my notes were somewhere else. "I wanted to tell you that things get really crazy with us," I started to say and then stopped because those were the wrong words.  
  
"Things can be different," she blurted out quickly. "I know they will. I...I can calm down on things I do so getting caught isn't a concern like it is now and hide better and it won't be crazy then. I mean, there'll still be finals crazy, but that's normal stuff, not like now. We can make things work, you know that right?"  
  
I blinked. Yeah, I sort of knew that. Then it hit me. Sure, I knew that. But I had never really told her. Tonight was going to be me proving that I knew for sure we would always make things work between us. I opened the car door and started to slide out. "Get out," I said gently. "Can't do this in here."  
  
She got out on her side as I came around and took her hand; leading her behind the building we were parked behind. I had spent the entire trip driving Kat and Kayla back to their respective homes debating on if I should propose when we got home or wait until Mexico or what. Maybe plan another nice date out and then do it. Or my graduation night. That would be an awesome way to go. Get my degree and a fiancée on the same night. But then I had seen the road sign and it all came together so quickly I was amazed. Screw perfection. What else did I need but what I had now?  
  
She looked around at the dingy alley where we were standing. I could see the recognition in her eyes when it finally hit her that we were at the place where we first met. Well, the place she first landed at my feet and advised me to take off before the shooting continued. "I want crazy," I said softly. "Because that's part of being with you."  
  
"I know that's what you like now," she said so sadly, it broke my heart. "But in five years? Ten? We can't be kids forever."  
  
I nodded and then reached into my pocket and pulled out the box, flipping the lid open. Her jaw nearly landed on the concrete as the diamond and emeralds sparkled brilliantly even in this dim light. "So we have two choices over the next five, ten, forever years. We either take the risk and grow together, or give up and grow apart. And I know what I want now and what I am going to want for the rest of my life."  
  
"Jhondie," I said, wishing I had some of the notes that I had written. A million and one things to say that were important and I didn't want to forget. But it was just her and me and for some reason, that seemed more right that all of the planning and sparkle that I had wanted. No notes or script. Just from the heart.  
  
"There's so much I wanted to say, but all I can't think right now is how much I love you." A tear slid down her cheek. Emotion colored my words, but I didn't care. It made it all the more right. "I don't know what's going to happen in the future. But I do know that because of you, I am so much more the man I never even thought I could be. You came into my life and made things clear that I didn't even know were clouded. You were my partner, and then became my best friend and then lover. And now...I would like to know if you would be willing to be one more thing. My wife." I suddenly dropped down to a knee, looking up into the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen in my life.  
  
"Jhondie, will you marry me?"  
  
Jhondie  
  
I managed to get a squeak out. That was my response to what could be the most romantic moment in my life. A squeak. Sometimes, I can be the biggest idiot in the world. He wasn't trying to break up with me. The boy wanted to marry me.  
  
I looked down at him, staring into those gorgeous blue eyes. I had never felt so overwhelmed in my life. Every nerve ending was on total overload. Yes, no, maybe, every possibility proceeding into the future like some quantum processor. And then it came back to just this moment. Justin and me. Crazy as ever, but that was us. And it wasn't a bad thing at all. It was our thing. We could stand together through the hard times. We could laugh and love through the easy times. As long as they were our times, then who cared about the rest? It would be me and him...and maybe a family of our own in there somewhere.  
  
"Yes," I whispered, feeling hot tears of joy falling down my face. "Oh, God, Justin, yes."  
  
A grin broke out on his face, his eyes practically illuminating. The ring slid onto my finger and I think I was laughing and crying at the same time as he stood, sweeping me into his arms. Our lips met in a passionate kiss and when we separated it was like I could see forever in his eyes. Who could have imagined that a single chance encounter could have brought so much happiness to two people? It was enough to make you believe in past lives, like we had lived and loved a thousand times and this time we had just recognized it in our hearts and ran with it.  
  
"I will love you forever," Justin whispered, taking my face in his hands. He kissed the tip of my nose, my forehead and eyelids and then back to my mouth. "You really are the other half of my soul."  
  
"I just can't believe there was a time that I was dumb enough to think that I didn't love you," I murmured. "You'll always be my best friend. And I can't think of anyone better than my best friend to be my husband." Both of us lit up at that word. My husband. His wife. Forever words. God, they sounded wonderful.  
  
I glanced down at my hand, really looking at the ring for the first time. Holy Mother, it was beautiful. I smiled up at him. "So who's going to have heart failure when he sees the receipt for this?" I teased. We had a running joke on which of his accountants were going to need ulcer surgery or a bypass first.  
  
"Actually," he replied, "All of them said that it's worth it. For once, we're all in agreement."  
  
"That we are," I breathed. Our eyes met again and I knew that his arms were the place that I belonged. That we were. 


	21. Epilogue

Justin  
  
"We're not even close to running late!" Jhondie insisted to her mother.  
  
"I want to get good seats!" Mrs. Harris, no, Ashley, if I'm going to be her son-in-law I should call her by her first name, she insists, yelled back at her daughter from downstairs. "If we end up behind that woman with the poofy hair, you're not going to be a happy girl tonight!"  
  
Jhondie glared at me when I started laughing. "Quit it!" she said, trying to be firm, but not able to prevent the smile. "You're only encouraging her."  
  
"It's Kay's first big recital and she's the star," I said with a grin. "Remember Dad at my graduation?"  
  
If Jhondie thought her mother was bad with a camera, it was nothing compared to Dad when I graduated from college a couple of weeks ago. It was one of the proudest moments in my life, and all I could see was one blue flash after the next. I think Dad was grabbing strangers off of the street to take a picture with me and my diploma, showing that I had achieved a bachelor's degree in journalism (with a minor in communications, thank you very much). But still, it was an awesome moment even if the cap and gown thing was a little silly. But Dad was so proud of me that I didn't try to weasel out of any of the festivities, especially once I found out that the twins had gone through a lot of effort to plan the graduation party. Sweet. A little corny, but sweet. My grandparents had surprised me and flown in from Mexico. And my to-be family was there as well with Jhondie and her mother and sister.  
  
I even had two job offers, one from the Times and another as a junior reporter with a national magazine. I had seriously considered the one here, but I decided to go freelance. It wasn't like I needed the steady paycheck. I wanted to be free to work on the stories that I was interested in and there was still Eyes Only. In all honesty, I would have taken the national one though had it not been for Jhondie. She wanted to finish school here and liked the medical school at our university. She probably would have moved to another city for me, but I would still have to do a lot of traveling and I would much rather spend the time with her. Besides, she promised me another year of partnership working for the boss. That was worth sticking around for.  
  
I would also like to add that the boss was very, very pleased with us. We found out more about what had happened. Apparently he had been having a hell of a time with this guy he was after. Little wonder. Not only was Gerhardt Bronck behind a huge amount of the crime in Seattle, but he had been the puppet master for some of the major crime syndicates in LA as well. He had been the big boss that guys like Brent Lake answered too. But Bronck was down now and not coming back. He had kidnapped a cop and lost their protection. I had to say one thing about cops and no matter how corrupt they were, or how much you paid them; you did not mess with the ranks. Bronck was toast. Eyes Only was very happy that the girls on the plane here had been returned to their families. He was revealing a little more at a time to us and I had a feeling that one day I would get to meet him face to face. One day.  
  
Tonight was all about Kayla though. Her dance school was putting on a show and the girls had to try out for the parts. Kayla beat out girls with much more training and experience and gotten the starring role. She was practically floating when they had taken her early to the auditorium. Now Ashley was determined to get there before the chick with the big hair and I think Jhondie was going slow just to torment her. Ashley had sent me up here to hurry Jhondie up, but if I had tried tickling then her hair would have gotten messed up or something and she would have had to start over.  
  
Finally she turned around. "What do you think?"  
  
I smiled. "I think if you don't get out of here quick, we really are going to be late." She was by far the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. She was wearing this pretty black velvet sleeveless dress that was, well, hot to say the least. And lately these wide choker things had come into fashion. Or at least that's what she said. I don't know. What I did know was that she could wear her hair up in a pretty French twist (don't ask me what's French about it, that's what she called it) and the velvet around her neck covered the barcode perfectly. In any case, the whole effect was quite stunning.  
  
I smirked. "I could fly us," I teased. She stuck her tongue at me. Okay, that wasn't all that fair since she was taking summer classes and I was free to work on flying. But still, facts were facts. Despite the fact that she had better vision and reflexes, I was getting through the piloting course faster than she was. My instructor said I was just a natural at it. He had no idea. Jhondie wasn't far behind me, but for once it was nice to tease her about me being superior at something. She just smirked and told me to wait until we went on instrument training. She could glance at a control panel and soak up all of the information shown in a second. I had to think. Oh well. Gloat while I still could.  
  
Her hand slipped into mine and we headed downstairs where her poor mother was pacing. I should have felt worse for my Dad since he was downstairs having to deal with her. He was coming with us since it was a family function and the star of the show was his son's future sister in law. I loved it. I ragged on Dad mercilessly that he was taking Ashley on a date. The more Dad protested, the more I pushed. It had taken two years, but I finally got revenge for how much he teased me about hanging out with Jhondie before we started dating for real.  
  
Jhondie was a little surprised when she saw the roses on the coffee table. She looked up at me with one eyebrow raised. I grinned. "Don't get excited," I teased. "They happen to be for the star of the show." Jhondie smiled. It was tradition to throw roses or give them to the star or something like that and I would be just tragic if Kay didn't get the full treatment tonight.  
  
The four of us swept out the front door and left in plenty of time to get good seats. Miss Poofy-Hair was at least four rows behind us and the people who sat in front were a family of short people. They must have drugged the two young children with them because I had never seen young kids that well behaved. Of course most of my experience with children came from the twins and those two were a living advertisement for birth control.  
  
I took Jhondie's hand as we sat down, still not used to feeling a ring on her hand. I moved it from where it had spun around and was now spearing my palm and she smiled at me. I'd get used to it. We only had the next lifetime together to learn.  
  
Jhondie  
  
I couldn't believe that Justin remembered the roses. Kayla had mentioned it once a couple of weeks ago about a ballet dancer who had hundreds of roses thrown at her and had sighed and said one day she would be up on stage and it would be covered with roses for her. She had also started hanging out with this one girl in her dance class that was taking vocal lessons as well. The new friend got Kay to a sing a little and the teacher told her that if she couldn't be a professional dancer, she really should think about singing. Pop Princess Kayla. I think I would have rather seen her as an NFL cheerleader.  
  
Still, it was so sweet of him to bring them. I knew she was going to be in seventh heaven after tonight. She was hoping for one of the important secondary roles, but the lead just amazed her. It was going to be the first time I ever really saw her dance myself and I was looking forward to it too. She was so happy and her whole attitude had improved a million times over.  
  
I think she was becoming friends with Kat again too which would have worried me, but Kat seemed to have gone through a bit of a life-change. The attitude was still there and she told me the offer was still there if Justin and I ever wanted a little something to spice up the marital bliss, but she was different. For one, she dropped the boyfriend and hooked up with this guy Josh. Of course she did that after Scott gave her a new car to fix up, but like I said, the attitude was still there.  
  
Josh was a pretty decent guy I think. He even went to church, which made me wonder why he was with Kat. Kat said that he liked the tongue piercing and they had bonded over their love of cars and motorcycles. Her new car- to-be was a Viper. She had tricked out the engine and I had seen her plans for the interior. The lights were going to be switched to black lights that would illuminate the black leather interior that had metallic red swirls stitched all over it. The outside was going to be metallic red that slowly shifted to a gloss black from the front to the rear of the car. Pretty cool design. Kat said that she had decided that dealing drugs had led to her falling out of a plane. This, she felt, was not the way she wanted to end her life. So she wanted to go with her second love and restore old cars and build high-powered custom motorcycles and sell them with no drugs inside at all. She even apologized to Kayla for what happened at the party and swore she would never do it again since doing it had led to her falling out of a plane and getting her car torched. Kayla accepted the apology.  
  
Of course, I had a suspicion that wasn't the only reason on why Kayla's attitude was so great and I didn't like that one bit. Well, I had to admit that it was kind of funny. A week after the anniversary that I still wasn't sure was from Heaven or Hell, Mom and I went out to start doing some wedding planning things. Justin and I had decided on next summer as a good time to get married. With the course load that I had taken over the past couple of years, I was going to be able to graduate in three years instead of four. Justin didn't think that was fair, but I was the one taking classes all summer long while he was taking off all summer for a three week internship. He couldn't take the first summer term either because he had to prep for the internship. There was a reason I was getting out of there early. Anyways, I was going to take the summer off and hopefully that fall, enter into medical school. That was such a scary thought, but I had talked to the dean of admissions already and he said that with my grades and recommendations from the paramedics training that as long as the MCAT was good, I could count myself as being in.  
  
Anyways, we had lots of time to plan, but I knew that next year was going to be crazy for me so I had better make some of the big decisions now and that way I wouldn't be scrambling later. Mom said that the colors and the dress were the two most important parts so we had gone out to a couple of wedding places and looked around. It was kind of fun to have a mother- daughter afternoon. We hadn't done that in a long while. And what was really nice was that Kayla had been so well behaved lately, she had been left at home alone and neither of us was worried about her. I should have been. That child can get into trouble even when she's trying to behave.  
  
That was proven when we got home. We walked through the door, both of us freezing at the sight. Kayla was sitting on the arm of the couch sobbing hysterically, her shirt ripped. Frankie was unconscious on the floor and in the middle was Zack. Kayla suddenly flung herself at Zack saying something that boiled down to "my hero - you saved me". What was priceless was the look of utter horror on Zack's face. Zack was not the touchy-feely type. He didn't hug. And he had no idea how to handle a hysterical teenager. Later, when I told Justin, both of us laughed so hard we couldn't breath. My one regret was that I didn't have a camera. That expression needed to be captured for all posterity. It was just...priceless is the only way to describe it.  
  
What had happened was that Frankie came over to tell Kayla that he wasn't done with her yet. If she didn't stop telling people that she had dumped him, there was going to be hell to pay. I would like to add that the big brave hoodlum had been watching the house and waited until I left. Anyways, she told him that he could kiss her butt because she knew what he had been encouraging Kat to do at the party and it was over now. She never wanted to see him again. He had gotten pissed and told her he hadn't wasted all of that time on her for nothing and then shoved her onto the couch.  
  
He was twice Kay's size and she didn't have a chance against him except to let out a few screams and if there's one thing about Kayla that cannot be overlooked it's the amazing volume level she can achieve. Frankie slapped his hand over her mouth and ripped her shirt and then all of a sudden he was off of her. Kayla sat up in time to see Frankie take a swing at Zack. Zack showed how much he didn't appreciate that little gesture by promptly beating the crap out of his until a solid kick knocked Frankie out cold. That's when Kayla went into hysterics. That's when Mom and I came home.  
  
Zack and I threw Frankie in the car and took him way out. Zack told me later that normally he wouldn't have interfered, but he knew me and that I would have gone over the line on the kid had Kayla been hurt for real. True. I wasn't angry with Zack for saying he wouldn't have gotten involved. Zack didn't get involved unless it was going to directly affect one of us. This would have. Because if Frankie had really hurt Kayla, it would have taken an act of God to keep me to keep me from exposing myself when I killed him very slowly. We did take him pretty far out and I used a lighter to get a very clear message drilled into his head. Kayla was off- limits. He agreed completely with my suggestion that he find another girlfriend. At least that's what I thought he said. The howls of pain were kind of in the forefront of his words, but I think we came to a good understanding. Zack made me stop and we left him out there. Zack also made me leave Frankie his pants. Sometimes he was just no fun.  
  
Zack had shown up just passing through like always. Yeah right. I knew him better than that. I knew what you looked like after a nasty bout of seizures. He needed a place to rest for a few days. When we got back, I told Kayla not to worry about Frankie anymore. She hugged me and said that I was the best big sister ever. It had been a while since I heard that. Mom thanked Zack and asked him to stay and I pushed and told him that he needed to stay a few days actually. It would be weird for me to have a friend come in from out of town and then disappear the next day. I knew Zack was really coming in off of a bad time when that flimsy pretext let him stay for a few days.  
  
Those few days might have driven Zack away forever though. Kayla developed a huge monster crush on him. I mean the star-struck eyes following his every move kind of crush. She sighed dreamily and floated around the house. He was her knight in shining armor and the really funny part was that he had absolutely no clue. I made a joke to him that he better not break her heart and he had no idea what I was talking about. I thought about explaining it, but then he really might do something to scare her off. And this puppy love thing was just too cute to let go of.  
  
Kayla thought it was funnier that I wouldn't tell him that Justin and I were getting married. My ring was a little too big so I had to have it sized down and because of it's age and styling, it had to be done carefully which was going to take several days. I wanted to tell Zack, but I already knew what his reaction was going to be. He wouldn't have been happy for me. He would have gotten pissed. And that wasn't needed. I thought I might just invite him to the wedding next year and not bother him until then. He wasn't going to change my mind. Justin and I were getting married and that was that.  
  
But one day I got home from class and Kayla was moping. Zack was gone without a word. She was terribly upset that he didn't say goodbye. I just shrugged. That was Zack. He'd be around again when he was in town. Such tragedy. I don't know who took it harder, her or Cody. No wonder Kayla's dancing was so good right now. She was throwing all of her unrequited love into it. The next time I saw Zack I was going to have to let him have a little warning before she confessed and got a reaction that did not need to come to light. I love Zack to death but I was under no illusions about him.  
  
But Zack was gone for now and I had my family with me now. Mom was sitting on one side with my future father in law to her right and to my left was the man that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I had nothing to complain about. I knew for absolute certain that this was where I belonged. My Manticore siblings would always hold a place in my heart, but these were the ones that made my heart.  
  
The lights dimmed and the first sweet strains of music began to fill the room as the curtain rose. I had never seen anything like this ballet before and I would have sworn that Kayla was really some fairy princess as she glided across the stage. Every move was perfectly graceful and lovely and even when some of the supporting cast made obvious errors, nothing could touch her. She was in a world alone from the rest. Beautiful and free and wild. After everything that had happened to her, they hadn't managed to break the wonderful spirit that she was. She was stronger than that and I had no doubt she would rise high and lovely in this world.  
  
And then it was over and they were taking their curtain calls, beaming happily at the family and friends there to watch. Kayla was exhausted but jubilant and when Justin gave her those roses, you would have sworn she had just been crowned Miss America. It was a great night for her and I don't think anything could have spoiled it at all. Aliens could have invaded and she would have smiled and said they were such a nice shade of green before doing a pirouette and wandering off.  
  
I guess she was too keyed up to even try sleeping once we finally got home. Kay put her roses in a vase and fussed with them for a while and then practically danced around the house, reliving the best moments of the ballet. I had a lot to do that night myself to get ready for my summer classes but for a while I needed to rest too. There was a shy knock on my bedroom door and Kayla peeped in, spotting me sitting on the roof outside my window, petty Cody who was purring happily in my lap. She came over and climbed out, sitting beside me.  
  
"No fair," she teased. "You got the room easy to sneak out of."  
  
"I was older," I replied. "They figured I would do the sneaking out first and by the time I was gone, then you would be ready to sneak." She laughed.  
  
"Guess I'm just an overachiever, huh?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. "That's not the way I would have put it lately."  
  
She looked down, a little embarrassed. "Definitely not in the boyfriend picking department, I know." She sighed. "You're so lucky to have someone like Justin. He really, really loves you. That's what I want one day."  
  
I smiled at her. "You don't get what we have in a day. It takes time. We've had two years to grow together and we took the time to be friends before anything else. And keep in mind I went through a lot of boyfriends before I found Justin. You're still really young. There's nothing wrong with having fun with guys and not worrying about falling in love and intimate relationships." I sighed. "Life gets really serious sometimes so it's good to just enjoy being young and able to have fun when you can."  
  
"I know," she replied, resigned. "I'm way young and I know I'm like not even going to be thinking about settling down for a way long time. I still kind of envy you. You were only seventeen when you met Justin. You were still a kid when you hooked up. And now you're getting married. That's like a...it should be set to music and turned into a ballet, you know?"  
  
"I do know," I answered. I looked at her dead on. "But I would like to point out that I was an adult when Justin and I...um, when we really hooked up."  
  
Kayla snickered. She got it. Then she looked up at me seriously. I had a feeling I knew what was coming and I was starting to regret us getting close again. No, I wasn't, but she was growing up and was going to come to her big sister about this stuff. And I was going to start taking up drinking as a hobby. "Was he your first?" she asked.  
  
I took a deep breath. I had to be honest with her or she wasn't ever going to trust me again. "No," I said, quickly adding, "But I wish he had been."  
  
She looked at me curiously. "So when was it?"  
  
I cringed. I had explained to her already about some of my weird traits. She knew about the heat deal. She said it explained a lot about why I got really crabby sometimes. But I didn't think she had put it with other things. "Almost sixteen," I finally said. "And that was way, way too young. Had it not been a bad time for me cycle-wise, it would have never ever happened." I wrinkled my nose. "And it wasn't very good either."  
  
Kayla started giggling. "I thought the first time was supposed to be all special and wonderful."  
  
"It is supposed to be," I insisted. "It's not supposed to be in the backseat of a car, which is very awkward and unpleasant I should add, when your hormones are driving you to do something that the brain is saying is dumb and you know you don't really want to be doing. It's supposed to be with someone that loves and respects you. That's the important part. A horny teenage boy usually can't provide those. Trust me on that. I looked. Couldn't find one all during high school."  
  
"So was it different when you were with Justin?"  
  
"Much," I answered with a soft smile, remembering that wonderful holiday weekend when we finally admitted to how we really felt for each other and ended up making love for the first time. "We had been together for a while and he was my best friend. He was the only person that I didn't have to hide anything from and I knew that I could trust him. And I knew that afterwards he would still respect me and love me and be my friend. That's the difference and that's what made it so special. It was the first time that I had no doubts about the afterwards."  
  
I shrugged. "It means something, Kay. Even if your friends tell you that it feels good and it's not a big deal, they're wrong. Because it really does mean something. And that's part of why I was so worried about you. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did and feel that horrible about yourself."  
  
Kayla was smiling. "Learn from your mistakes?"  
  
I let out a little laugh. "Please do. Then I can at least feel a little noble and say I did it for you."  
  
Now Kayla really laughed. "I wouldn't say that to too many people. Really comes out kind of twisted."  
  
Both of us laughed at that. We were still laughing when Mom spoke up from inside. "You girls aren't trying to sneak out on me, are you?" She seemed a little confused when that made us laugh even harder, but just shook her head and climbed out my window too, sitting on the sill between us.  
  
"It's good to see my girls getting along again," she finally said softly.  
  
Kayla smiled at her. "I know, I'm the brat," she said. "But you know, it really is all cool now. Nothing wrong with a little weird, right?"  
  
"Or a lot weird, I know," I said, rolling my eyes. "But it could be worse. We could be living in Atlanta near Irene." All of us shuddered at that thought. Then Kayla looked back at Mom.  
  
"I'm glad you and Dad decided to keep Jhondie with us," she said softly. "I think I needed a big sister." Mom couldn't speak, tears stealing her voice.  
  
"I know I certainly needed a baby sister to take care of," I said, taking her hand. Mom caught each of our free hands and we sat like that for a while.  
  
The circle of our family had diminished but it hadn't broken. That was the important part. It would change as all families did and grow and become different, but it would always be there. That's what mattered. No matter how hard things had been or how tight the bond had stretched it had not broken. We could still make the completed circle. Complete the parts that were missing in each other. That was family. And this was home.  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: Well, we finished yet another J & J. Whew. This one just wouldn't stop, but I guess that's what happens when two major storylines get combined. Oh well. Anyways, thank you to everyone that faithfully kept checking up and reading and reviewing. It's knowing that people really do enjoy my work that keeps me going at it. Also, special thanks to Jasmine for just being there to listen and hash out problems when I was banging my head in frustration and to the real Katrina who let me make an evil alter- ego for her and use it in my story. Kat wouldn't have been so deliciously wicked without you!  
  
J & J are going on a bit of a hiatus while I get some other things finished (and a few surprises started) but never fear. #8 will be here before you know it, so hang on 'cause the ride's going to get interesting! 


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